GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #842: COMICS I'M READING (UPDATE)

 It's been a while since I did a rundown of all the comics I read monthly. I'm glad to say it's no longer a handful. It's an actual list again. So here we go!

The Blood Brothers Mother

From the amazing team of Azzarello and Risso. It's a western that shows a lot of promise. We're only one issue in so far, and it's fuckin' huge. It's more of a magazine than a comic book.

The Expanse: Dragon Tooth

I'm a huge fan of The Expanse, in book, show or comics form. This miniseries takes place during the time jump between books 6 and 7 by James SA Corey. Too bad this one is ending soon. Only one issue to go.

Get Fury

The Punisher hunting down Nick Fury in Vietnam? Written by Garth Ennis? Of course I'm in. It's the only Marvel book I currently read. I don't anticipate reading another when this is over.

GI Joe (Larry Hama)

Yeah, I know this book has gone through several publishers over the years, but technically it's the same run of the comic I read as a kid, written by the same guy, Larry Hama. I love how crazy this series gets sometimes. Because it's GI Joe, a lot of people forget about crazy shit like Serpentor being made from the DNA of ancient rulers, or Dr. Mindbender's zombie bomb. Hama, who fought in Vietnam, knows what he's doing and knows how to bring the lunacy to a fever pitch. I know eventually this series will end, and it will be a sad day, indeed.

The Goon

The Goon is back! This is a book that goes through a lot of different publications, and I'm glad we have a new series that left off with the previous one. It's an oddball mix of ridiculous violence and old-timey stuff. One of my favorites is Frankie, and when he screams "KNIFE TO THE EYE!" he means it.

Hellblazer: Dead in America

For the longest time it seemed that DC had given up on John Constantine, but it's good to see he's back, and once again he's haunting America. This time he's alive, but his body is rotting. He has to find a way to get back to normal, and he has a very Scottish friend he met at a pub and a deaf-mute who turns out to be his son as companions. He's also armed with a single grain of sand from Dream's bag. I felt betrayed when DC ended the original Vertigo book so Constantine could rejoin the DCU and rub shoulders with superheroes. This is a return to the original series. It feels like Constantine never truly left us. This is the only DC book I read, and I'm pretty sure I won't read another when this ends.

James Bond 007

Whoever put Garth Ennis in charge of James Bond must be out of their mind, but he's proven to be damned good at it. Like Warren Ellis before him, Ennis seems to understand Bond in ways that the movies never really show. It's closer to the books, and I'm glad for that. And then there's . . .

Jimmy's Little Bastards

. . . the book James Bond would be if Garth Ennis was allowed to run rampant. Aftershock, the publisher, declared bankruptcy last year, but it seems like the final book in this series is still somehow going to be released. It's been delayed forever, but it's being solicited in November. I'm glad. I'd hate to have an Ennis series without an ending.

Jupiter's Legacy: Requiem

Here's another book that was supposed to come out a long time ago but hasn't. Yet the internet is insistent that this book is still happening. However, probably due to the Netflix show's failure, this is no longer the second half of a miniseries. This is going to be one big volume and is probably the epilogue to Mark Millar's huge Big Game crossover.

Saga

Saga is on hiatus right now. They like to get a bunch of issues in and then take a break, which is kind of annoying, but the wait is always worth it. This is top-shelf storytelling from Brian K. Vaughan, who gave us Y: The Last Man and Ex Machina. He's really, really good at writing heartbreaking endings. Ex Machina's tore my heart out when I read it. So I can only assume Saga will end in tragedy. And it looks like we're closer to the ending than expected.

That Texas Blood

This book is also on hiatus because the creators wanted to do a miniseries western for a little while set in the same universe. The Enfield Gang Massacre was fucking great, but I can't wait to see what they do with the main series next.

Torpedo 1972

Risso working without Azzarello seems a little weird, but this li'l book is quirky and wrong in so many ways. It seems like a parody of gangster stories, except there's a lot of very uncomfortable violence in it. It's like a joke in which people die. Weird, but I like it.

Transformers (Skybound)

Why would I not read a Transformers book? This one is particularly good because Skybound decided to tear it all down and build it up from the ground. No history with the comics is necessary to know what's going on. It's great. The Energon Universe is fucking great, and I hope it keeps going for a while.

Underheist

This is a book from David Lapham, who gave us the classic crime comic, Stray Bullets. This one is also a crime book, as you can probably guess from the title, but it's a *horror* crime book. And that's supercool. I doubt the book will last long, but so far, so good.

Void Rivals

I gotta be honest, I only love a handful of Robert Kirkman books. Battle Pope, obviously, and The Walking Dead. And yes, Invincible. But outside that? I haven't liked what I've read. But Void Rivals is fucking great. You don't have to read it to get what's going on in the Energon Universe, but it helps. It's good to see where a lot of this is starting, and it's good to know the EU has Quintessons . . .

And that's it. I'll try to keep you updated in the future on my pull list. Until next time . . .

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #242: TIME COMES AROUND

No offense to any of the other local comic book shops, but my go-to place is Unicorn in Villa Park. I've been going there for ages, back when I was a kid getting G.I. Joe and Transformers books and then again when I discovered Evil Ernie, Preacher and Hitman. I thought I knew the place pretty well, but every once in a while I get a surprise out of the place.

I live across the street in Elmhurst from the Prairie Path. It used to be a railroad (which, from what I understand, my grandfather worked on when he was a kid), but all that remains is a gravel path and a few abandoned train stations. One of them is the old Elmhurst station which is by the water fountain on York. It's boarded up, but it's still an attraction, especially on warm summer nights when the kids are dipping their hands in the fountain and young lovers cast their penny wishes into the gushing waters. The cobwebs shine in the eaves, highlighted by the ever-changing colors from the fountain, ancient life lurking in the forgotten corners of a monument from the not-so-distant past.

Keep moving west and you'll reach the Villa Park station, which is a bit more of an attraction. They turned it into a museum, and it's actually pretty cool to look around inside. I once went in with a friend, and we saw a bunch of old York High yearbooks from the 'Seventies. I found my dad in one of them, and in the very same book she found her uncle. Small world.

There is a parking lot there, and across from it is an attorney's office. I believe that it used to be the site of a general store in the pioneer days of Villa Park. It's now owned by the brother of my comics guy, who has his shop next door.

I was in there a couple of weekends ago, and much to my delight there was a fellow customer in there--a first time customer, no less--looking for the greatest Punisher stories of all time. Naturally my guy led him to the Garth Ennis MAX series, which contains the most adult, violent, vicious, hardstories in the Punisher's history. And then my guy, who knows my taste very well, asked me for my opinion to bolster this customer's confidence, and I delivered in spades. Good luck getting me to shut up about a comics series I love once I get started.

And then the conversation took an odd turn. My guy, and I don't know how comfortable he'd be having his name mentioned here, so I'll keep calling him "my guy," then confided to us that he'd bought his first comic book in this very establishment. I was shocked because I thought he was the first and only owner of Unicorn. Well, he is. Was this place a comic book shop before? Because that seemed highly unlikely. There wasn't a direct market when he was a kid.

And then came his magical answer, one that people my age and younger will never get to experience in our lives. Maybe you're familiar with smoke shops. They didn't just sell tobacco products. They sold everything, even books and such. And every single one of them had at least one comic book rack where you could meet the superheroes of old for the first time, and maybe some of the pulp stars that came before them like Doc Savage, the Shadow, etc.

My guy pointed to the corner by the door, where now he has a row of Marvel comics, and said that there was a spinner rack over there, and that's where he picked up the book. Both me and the customer looked reverently into that corner, trying to imagine a time gone by. Trying to imagine my guy as a kid buying the very thing that would send him down the path to his life's passion.

Time comes around. The shop that you buy your first passion could very well become your shop someday, where you will sell the next generation's first passion. The circle of time continues.

There are no more smoke shops. While time moves on, the past is never far behind. All it takes is a photograph. A film. A memory. It comes back alive if only for a moment in the imagination.

This time will never come again, but it is never too far behind that you can't remember it and possibly pass it on.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #71: GOLDEN VS. SILVER VS. BRONZE AGES

OK, so maybe the title is misleading. I imagine comic book fans are reading this hoping for a debate about the golden age versus the silver age versus the bronze age. (Hint: if true Comic Book People are involved in this argument, bronze isn't going to win. It will be either of the remaining two.)


I'm actually not here to talk about that. Besides, if you know me well enough, you know my answer to that one. If not, that's a discussion for another day. Instead, I'm here to talk about bags and boards.


When I first read comics as a child, I didn't have much reverence for them. I did put them in bags, but there were no boards. I tended to bundle story arcs into one bag. But I threw them all into comics boxes where they wouldn't support each other.


When I got back into reading comics, I wasn't much better. It took me a while to realize that I might want to protect these things because I will want to read them again someday. After that realization, I bagged and boarded like a pro. Except . . .


We can all agree that places like Mile High Comics are pros, right? Good. We'll get back to that in a second.


I buy my comics from a local shop, but sometimes Diamond stiffs my guy. Sometimes, I have to go to another local shop. And if they don't have it, I have to go to places like Mile High. If I have to do that, they ship my books . . . IN BRONZE BAGS.


Those of you who don't give a shit about comics have stopped reading by now. The rest of you know what I'm talking about. The different ages had different sizes, so you need to get a bag that will fit the age of the comic you bought. I buy almost exclusively bronze, because I don't care much for golden and silver, since those are almost exclusively superhero books, and I don't like superheroes. However, bronze bags are really small. I can't tell you how many of them I ripped trying to get my comics back in them after I read them (because the only time I have bronze bags is when I buy from places like Mile High).


When I get supplies, I always go for silver age bags. They're not too big, and they don't get ripped up if I try to fit a book in there. They also aren't hard to deal with, unlike bronze bags.


I just realized how boring this post is, so I'm going to stop and go to bed. Goodnight, fuckers.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #31: ROGER AND ME

Of all the characters on MAD MEN, I identify most with Roger Sterling. While he takes his work seriously, he also knows that it's not so important that it's the end of the world if something gets fucked up. He's got an odd anarchistic streak in him that probably didn't exist in many WWII vets. He's even got an open mind when it comes to a lot of things, like trying LSD with his wife and hanging out with his hippy daughter.


However, there is one thing about his character that I get so much more than the rest of it. In one episode, his mother dies, and he takes it pretty well. His family falls apart around him, but he plays it off with very few ruffled feathers, almost to the point where everyone else thinks he might be kind of crazy since he doesn't show his emotions like a normal person.


Yet later in the same episode, the shoeshine guy he's used for decades dies, and Roger breaks down and cries. No one expects it, but . . . well, I get it.


Don't get me wrong. When my mom died, I broke down. I knew she was on the way out, and when my grandparents got the call, they told me right away, and I lost it. I knew it was coming. I'd prepared for it most of my life. Also, it should be noted that Mom and I had a lot of anger issues with each other. We spent most of her latter years arguing with each other. But the moment I heard about her death, I cried. The second thing I did? I told my brother Bob, and we cried together.


It's the second part I understand more. For example, I've been going to my barber for as long as I can remember. He knows how I like my hair. He's not a hairstylist. He tells off-color jokes. He likes to drink (although I think he quit smoking a while ago). If he ever died, I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could bring myself to go to a salon.


Or how about the comic book store I go to? I've known the proprietor for many, many years, from way back when I was first buying comics in the 'Eighties. What am I going to do when he's gone? I can't get into the chain stores, like Graham Crackers.


With these old school guys, it's about environment. It's about experience. These are things that can't be replicated on a mass scale. Seriously, when I get my hair cut, I might as well be in the barber shop in Dodge City on GUNSMOKE, and whenever I visit the comic book store, it feels like I'm in an old smoke shop of old, searching for pulps (and let's face it, I've actually bought pulps in this place).


Roger Sterling's co-workers looked at him like he was weeping over something superficial, but they're wrong. He was weeping over the end of a way of life, and that's something I really don't want to think about.

RIP: The Napalm Assault

Some of you may have noticed the sudden absence of www.thenapalmassault.com. I’m sorry to say that I have to announce the passing of this lovely website. It was fun while it lasted, and I hope it brought entertainment to at least one person. If it was just one person, the whole thing would have been worthwhile.

It was always Leo Perez’s brainchild. He came up with the idea, but more to the point, he paid for it. Lately, he’s been making great steps forward in his comics career, and he just can’t afford to keep up the Napalm Assault while making a name for himself as an artist. He gave me fair warning, and I prepared for the end.

It’s a shame. I look back at what the website was supposed to be, and it never lived up to our expectations. Originally, it was Leo, Cliff Breaux and me. There were a few other interested parties, and the main cast was joined by the Righteous Sandwich for a while. But I have my scribbled notes from when a bunch of us got together to brainstorm what the website should be, and I’ve got to say, we were ambitious motherfuckers. Here’s a look at some of the ideas:

--We were going to have a great cheeseburger competition between Jim Sauve and me. I’ve always contended that the Country House makes the best burger in the area. He was going to challenge me on that.

--We thought about having a rotating political humor column.

--We came up with strange ideas for reviews. We wanted to review things people ordinarily didn’t review, like graveyards and websites.

--Fucktard of the Week.

--The Horrors of Channel Surfing.

--We thought getting me liquored up and unleashing me on some kind of local event would be a good idea.

--The Napalm Podcast. Believe it or not, there are actually episodes of these, starring Leo and Cliff, but none of them have been posted for the public.

--Investigative reporting of funny shit, not important shit.

--Cliff had a tongue-in-cheek opinions column in mind called something along the lines of “If You Don’t Agree With Me, You’re Racist.”

--Animal Shelter of the Week.

--We were going to have a monthly contest in which readers could win a chance to date one of us. That’s not as egotistical as you might think. We figured no one would actually enter, that it would be a bit.

--Not Just Wrigleyville—meaning, fun things to do in Chicago that, well, you get it.

--Vegan food reviews.

--And then there were reviews in general.

--I also wanted to invite a few friends to write for us. Fitz would do Nintendo retrospectives, and Jason (now known as the Drudgeon at Forced Viewing) would do horror movie reviews.

--And then there was the list of things I wound up doing for my own blog and posting links on The Napalm Assault: The DUI Diary, bar reviews, whiskey reviews, Meeting Authors, etc.

That’s quite a menu. If only we could have gotten this thing off the ground. That’s one of my big regrets. At first, there were posts from all of us, but over time, I wound up being the only one posting anything. It got to the point where Leo just handed the reins over to me, but by that point, I knew it was done. The site continued slogging along for a while, but it was a lingering death. It’s probably for the best that it’s gone.

I remember when I first started working on the site. The thing I offered first and foremost were comic book reviews. I think originally, Leo was going to cover DC, Cliff would do Marvel and I would cover all of the others, including and especially the indies. But I’d reviewed comic books for the college paper, and I was kind of eager to get back to it. That led me to wanting to do Cool Shit, and other comics-related coverage.

It was fun. It really was.

What does the passing of The Napalm Assault mean, going forward? I’ll be retiring a lot of my regular posts. Comic book reviews, which were posted, for the most part, at the Napalm Reviews Tumblr, will cease. Cool Shit will end, and that’s probably for the best. I only ever talk about the same books, anyway, and it is probably my least popular column. Only about 20 of you read it on a regular basis. It’s fun to do, but it’s time has passed. (Can you believe I’ve been doing Cool Shit for almost four years?! Here’s alink to the first one, just so you can see what it was like.)

The same with other reviews. Writing them takes up waaaaaaay too much of my regular fiction writing time, and let’s face it, I’m never going to get money for my reviews. The time has come to cut the weight holding me down. Don’t worry, I’ll still be reviewing horror movies for Forced Viewing.

I’m sorry to say that I’ll be ending One Question Interviews, as well. There is a lot of positive response to this column, but it’s not turning into what I want it to be. I was hoping to use the first five posts as a springboard to get a wide variety of writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, stand-up comedians and more to participate. I have not gotten a favorable response in that area. John Everson is the only person I don’t know personally who was interested in taking part with this column, for which I am very grateful.

I will also retire any convention coverage. It will be weird to go to C2E2 and not write anything up, but so be it.

It's weird. I started writing about comic books in college, back in the late 'Nineties. Back then, no one gave a shit about comics. The fact that there was a regular comics column in the college newspaper was absolutely mindblowing. I even won a state award for it. Now? You can't escape from comics. Somehow, I think the world will survive without my coverage.

What will continue? You’ll still get the occasional Everyone’s Got One. Whenever I have the material, I’ll post more Meeting Authors. If it strikes my fancy, I might do another Forgotten Comic Books. And as always, if something fucked up in my life happens, I’ll blog about it.

Well, that’s it, then. A door closes on a chapter of my life, and maybe another one opens. I hope you’ll join me. Whoops, there was one more regret I wanted to mention.

I really, really, really wish Leo had let me call the site The Third Testicle.

C2E2: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

[NOTE: Whenever you see the words "sidebar interview," you can actually read the interviews here: http://thenapalmassault.blogspot.com/2010/04/john-bruni-interviews-at-c2e2.html]



If you read comic books by the issue, you have undoubtedly seen the advertisements everywhere: “C2E2: THE CON CHICAGO NEEDS. THE CON YOU DESERVE!” From April 16-18, C2E2, or the Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo, celebrated its maiden year in the Lakeside building of the McCormick place to the tune of 28,000 attendees, according to the C2E2 blog. Exact numbers aren’t out yet, but taking into consideration the price of admission ($30 for one day, $60 for all three), this means the show made anywhere between $84,000 and $1.68 million.

Upon entering the convention floor, one is inundated with fellow attendees dressed up as their favorite characters, not just from comic books, but also from popular movies and television shows. Superman stands in the corner talking with Link from LEGEND OF ZELDA while Princess Leia shares a soft pretzel with her son, who is dressed as Spiderman. Meanwhile, over by the DeLorean from BACK TO THE FUTURE and the Batmobile from the Adam West BATMAN TV show, the Joker and Harley Quinn are inviting any passers-by to stop in and get their pictures taken with such Hollywood icons . . . for $10, of course. It is, after all, a convention.



Shills leap out from every booth, eager to sell their products, whether they be bootlegged DVD’s, their latest CD, a web comic, or even memorabilia, like old movie posters and autographed photographs of Hollywood stars. There are contests everywhere, and when one walks through Artists Alley, they are confronted with hopeful faces and an array of brand new, independent possibilities.

In short, it’s just like Wizard World Chicago. In fact, some skeptics have questioned as to whether or not C2E2 is necessary, since WWC, while actually located in suburban Rosemont, has ruled this roost for 20 years. However, attendees of C2E2 saw a few differences. For one, there is a lot of space to move around, whereas WWC is practically impossible to navigate through. There are the same smells of body odor and flatulence, but it’s not so bad when the person emitting these fumes isn’t rubbing up against you. And whereas WWC is closed off from the outside world like the inside of a casino, C2E2 has windows, and the crowd is actually exposed to sunlight. Granted, near the end of the day, it becomes blindingly bright, but at the same time, it is nice to be reminded that the outside world still exists. The panel rooms at McCormick Place are nicer, too.

But there is one key difference between the two conventions: WWC has, in recent years, been overtaken by pop culture in general, whereas C2E2’s clear loyalty is to comics. There is overlap, of course, but WWC’s guests last year were composed almost exclusively of wrestlers, television and movie stars, and something called a “reality TV star,” which probably doesn’t really exist. Comics writers and artists took a back seat.

So C2E2 had to up the ante by inviting practically everyone in the comics industry, from the folks usually found in Artists Alley to web comics creators to hot new talent to seasoned professionals to writers of actual books to the people who run everything. Jim Lee has been a regular, but Karen Berger and Joe Quesada? What about Peter Straub and George R.R. Martin? Does the name Neil Gaiman ring a bell? And how long has it been since Garth Ennis came to Chicago?



At a glance, the DC booth looks as it always has. The corners have been relegated to their separate properties, Wildstorm and Vertigo, with another corner dedicated to the toys they produce. Free comics are stacked up all over the place (more on that later). But who is that sitting at the Vertigo table? It’s none other than FABLES writer Bill Willingham! [Sidebar interview.]

Later in the day, crime writer Brian Azzarello has taken Willingham’s place. [Sidebar interview.]

Not all companies have had it as easy as DC, but there are some who keep kicking against the pricks and do so rather well, with a stable of amazing talent, no less. Take Avatar, for example. They started publishing in 1996 and were mostly known for their “bad girl” characters, like Pandora and Hellina. However, Avatar grew up quickly when it started publishing creator owned books with no content restrictions. Garth Ennis, Warren Ellis, Alan Moore, and other greats answered the call, and Avatar has been producing some of the most interesting, mind-blowing books on the market. In fact, some of their writers and artists are so dedicated to their company and their craft that they have decided to sign at the booth for the entire time C2E2 is open.

Take Jacen Burrows and Mike Wolfer, for example. [Sidebar interviews.]

And then there is comics legend, Brian Pulido. [Sidebar interview.]

Even LAW AND ORDER: SVU and NUMB3RS writer Christos Gage can be seen hanging out at the Avatar booth, signing books and pimping his most recent releases, including the first ABSOLUTION miniseries and the graphic novel from Vertigo Crime, AREA 10. [Review of AREA 10 will be posted soon.]

On Saturday, Garth Ennis sits at the Avatar booth, ready to sign. If you spend $30 or more at the booth, you get VIP status for this signing. This means that you get to go first, before the non-VIP signing, and you can have more things signed. Three items from other publishers, and anything else Avatar has published. As Ennis signs, he’s willing to talk about anything at all, from the final PREACHER story that will probably never be published (as reported elsewhere, it is the story of the Sexual Investigators; if you want to read it, it is recommended that you let Vertigo know, or in the words of Ennis himself, “Give them shit about it.”) to the reason why it’s been five years since a new issue of DICKS has been released (because they’re not big money makers; SHAME ON YOU, AMERICA!) to the search for good American beer (which has been a bit more successful than some would think).

No matter how much these talented individuals have to do at this show, it pales in comparison to William Christensen, the head of Avatar. He moves around the booth with sweat gleaming on his forehead, making sure that everything is running smoothly, that product is always on display, that product is moving, and trying to organize the big signings, namely Garth Ennis, George R.R. Martin, and Max Brooks. Of all the folks at the Avatar booth, he is the only one who turns down an interview, and one can hardly blame him. It is clear that C2E2 has wiped him out, that he is probably looking forward to sleeping for a week after the convention, and yet he somehow manages to stay on his feet. Through the virtue of Avatar’s amazing books, the publishing company has managed to get a lot of attention. One look at Christensen shows that a lot of hard work has gone into this, and the battle has been uphill the whole way.



In fact, it looks like the only ones who have had it easy (or at least easier than most) are DC and Marvel, and maybe Image. The convention is saturated with publishing companies desperate for your attention. For example, during the last half-hour of the first day, Archaia declares that anything on the center table of their booth is for free. The booth is inundated with customers, most of whom have come in to get their free books and not to look at the rest of their selection, which is a shame, considering the quality of these free books. Not one of them is much good. ARTESIA BESIEGED and ROBOTIKA are incredibly awful, and STARKWEATHER IMMORTAL barely qualifies as mediocre. SOME NEW KIND OF SLAUGHTER tries to educate, but it’s bogged down in a stiff style and awkward sideways printing. Only THE KILLER seems decent, but it’s hard to tell for sure because they only gave away issues four, nine, and ten. This makes judging the story impossible, as it is a book that needs to be read in order.

However, those who just came by to get their free books and not browse probably missed a book simply called TUMOR. [TUMOR review will be posted soon.]

All in all, Archaia could have taken a lesson from DC’s booth. In the Vertigo section, they are giving away the first issues of DAYTRIPPER, JOE THE BARBARIAN, and DEMO, which makes getting into a sequential book much easier. Sadly, these three titles do not amount to much, and neither do THE AUTHORITY and WILDCATS books they are giving away in the Wildstorm corner. SPARTA #1 is a bit more promising, but the true star of the free books DC are giving away is VICTORIAN UNDEAD. [VICTORIAN UNDEAD review will be posted soon.]

If comic books aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other products on the floor to choose from. Do you want autographed photos of celebrities? They’re here. Toys? They’re everywhere. Pithy t-shirts? A stone’s throw away. Old pulp magazines? You got it. Hell, do you want a tattoo? You can find several artists ready and eager to go to work on you. For those with the money, there is an IRON MAN auction going on, in which you can buy props used in the actual movie.



Then there are the DVD’s. If you want a bootleg, they’re all over the place, but the true attraction for movie lovers are the imports. You can find practically any movie you want in the world, including one of the worst films ever made, Ed Wood’s NECROMANIA. [See NECROMANIA review previously posted.]

Every once in a while, you might come upon a booth selling something a little more interesting, like Retro-a-Go-Go. They have t-shirts with old pulp fiction covers depicted on the front. They only fit the ladies, but some of you guys will probably like them enough to buy at least one, just to have it. They also sell flasks, lighters, key-rings, and picture frames with retro art on them. Is it no surprise that they have an undying love for all things Bettie Page? For those of you who can’t wait until the next C2E2, you can check them out at www.retro-a-go-go.com.

Walking around this convention, seeing all that it has to offer, can take a lot out of a person, especially if that person is lugging around a lot of books to be signed and recently purchased products. You can either spend a fortune on a Pepsi and pizza (or churros, or nachos, or whatever), or you can stop by one of the many booths offering free samples of energy drinks. Rockstar, Venom, Amp, they’re all here, and they’re here to help you stay on your feet.



And for those who want to know the state of their favorite publishing companies (or for those who want to take a load off), there are the panels. The very first of the show was the Vertigo panel with Karen Berger, Peter Straub, Scott Snyder, Cliff Chiang, Bill Willingham, and others. Here are a few things they discussed:

--THE UNWRITTEN. This awful book, sadly, shows no sign of being cancelled. Somehow, it collected three Eisner nominations, and one of the panelists said, “It’s kind of like if Garth Ennis wrote WINNIE THE POOH.” This is a selling point, but as anyone who has read the book can tell you, it’s a bit of a stretch.

--THE GREEN WOMAN. This is why Peter Straub is here today. There was a character from his novel, THE THROAT, by the name of Frank Belknap (fans of the Lovecraft circle will recognize this name). He was a very nasty serial killer who was quickly killed off with very little explanation as to his character. Vertigo has convinced Straub to create an alternate universe version of Belknap and put him in a home for spectacular serial killers. “It’s horror at its meanest and most powerful,” Berger said.



--AMERICAN VAMPIRE. This is number one reason for most people to attend this panel; since Stephen King is the co-writer, this is not surprising. Scott Snyder is tired of the Anne Rice-type vampire. He says the romantic vampire is simply not scary, that vampires are supposed to be your loved ones and neighbors come back from the grave to kill you. He cites ‘SALEM’S LOT as a major influence. Since he is friends with King, the master was invited by Vertigo to be a part of this book. [AV review will be posted soon.]

--Good news for JACK OF FABLES fans: #50 has been referred to as a “game changer.” Readers know that the book has recently focused on Jack Frost, the good son of Jack Horner (the title character). While it is interesting to see his adventures, they just don’t compare to his father’s. Why? Perhaps it’s because Jack Horner is a scoundrel and it’s a lot more fun to watch him in action. They did not go into details as to what might change this game, but keep an eye out for #50.

--Were you a fan of SHADE THE CHANGING MAN? Hell, do you remember the title? Not many do, but it was one of the first books on Vertigo’s roster back in their beginning days. If you enjoyed the series, then you’re in for good news: he’s coming back. After a short reintroduction in HELLBLAZER (which is only fair, considering the time that John Constantine guest-starred in Shade’s book), he will be returning with his own series.

--They also talked about a lot of brand new projects, including Christos Gage’s AREA 10. They discussed REVOLVER, a graphic novel in which the main character goes to work, expecting the usual boring day only to be confronted by the end of the world. He slogs through the destruction and makes it to the end of the day, but the following morning, everything is back to normal. The story switches off between days, and there is even a third story in a scroll at the bottom of each page. From the writer of HELLBLAZER: PAPA MIDNITE and INCOGNEGRO, we have DARK RAIN, a graphic novel using Hurricane Katrina as a backdrop. Two convicts decide to take advantage of the hurricane to rob a bank in New Orleans. In THE EXECUTOR, a man comes back to his hometown to be the executor of the will of a girl he doesn’t know. Denise Mina has SICKNESS IN THE FAMILY for us, the tale of a twisted family that gets killed off one by one. GREENDALE is a graphic novel written by Joshua Dysart and illustrated by Cliff Chiang, based on the Neil Young album. Women in a small town are changing and disappearing when they reach a certain age. The protagonist is a female who is approaching this age, but she’s disappointed in the state of our world. This is the story of what she does as a result. Lastly, we have two books, CUBA MY REVOLUTION and HOW TO UNDERSTAND ISRAEL IN 60 DAYS OR LESS, the first of which is about a woman who had to grow up in Cuba during Castro’s regime, and the latter about one American woman’s visit to Israel to see firsthand the horrors and the disadvantages of both the Israelis and the Palestinians.

--During the Q&A session, Straub was asked about the future of his own work with comics. Specifically, Stephen King has had a lot of luck with his work being translated into comic books lately. In fact, King and Straub’s THE TALISMAN is being published by Del Ray now, and the questioner was wondering if any of Straub’s older work, perhaps SHADOWLANDS or FLOATING DRAGON, would be published in a comics format. Straub said that at the time, there were no plans. As far as Del Ray goes, they just send him and King images for them to approve.



The Marvel panel is a lot more crowded, but not as interesting. Joe Quesada is a dynamic speaker who isn’t afraid to tell the truth. For example, he admits to enjoying DC Comics more than Marvel at one point in his life, even though he’s the big man at Marvel now. The problem is, Marvel’s ideas aren’t that exciting. He describes a new CAPTAIN AMERICA project helmed by Ed Brubaker, one of the greatest writers working in the industry, but there’s nothing about it that seems to leap off the page. Not even Warren Ellis’ new IRON MAN motion comic is exciting (but motion comics really aren’t that great, anyway, so that battle was lost from its conception). The highlight, though, is when a small, bespectacled woman meekly approaches the microphone during Q&A and suggests that Marvel comics is guilty of creating unrealistically proportioned women as the heroines of their female comics.

Most people would stare back in surprise with deer-in-the-headlights eyes, but Quesada is ready with a reply right off the bat. At first, he acknowledges her agenda, and then he systematically disproves it, while at the same time admitting that this kind of thing does happen in comic books. He also mentions that the same thing happens to men in comics, as well. He cites examples of 100% realistic women and the artists who render them, and with his point proven, he waits for her rebuttal. All she can say is, “Um, thank you.” And she walks away.

Back to the convention floor. The one thing that C2E2 has that WWC does not is an area dedicated to web comics. One gentleman is handing out bookmarks with his website on them, www.1977thecomic.com. The tagline: “Life, one toke at a time . . . .” Upon going online, though, this is a bit of an exaggeration. It’s the story of a young man in Lombard, IL, who decides that he’s going to be a rock star. He answers an ad in the paper and rents a room in a stranger’s house. Wacky PERFECT STRANGERS/ODD COUPLE hijinks ensue, sometimes involving weed, but more often than not involving mystic toads, magical sex changes, failed rock gigs, and the like. You know, with the exception of the failed rock gigs, these are all things that the year 1977 actually lacked. It’s not super funny. The jokes are usually kind of lame, but if you’re bored, it will get you through the day.

Speaking of hijinks ensuing, C2E2 was graced with the appearance of web comic HIJINKS ENSUE, where they are pimping their first collection, GODSPEED, YOU FANCY BASTARD. Do you like jokes about how the Ewoks used the Care Bear Countdown to blow up the Death Star? How about any joke about Iron Man, video games, THE MATRIX, and . . . and just about every pop culture reference you can think of? If the answer is yes, head over to www.hijinksensue.com at your earliest possible convenience. Only then will you find out about JURASSIC PARK 4: FREAKIN’ DINOSAURS WITH FREAKIN’ LASER BEAMS. And did you know that Darth Vader and Stephen Colbert made it to the birth of Christ via the Tron car? You will . . . .



And now for a stroll down Artists Alley. This is the corner of the convention that most people don’t visit, mostly because they’re not interested in finding something completely new. They have come to C2E2 to meet some of their favorite creators, a few celebrities, and to look for some of the more hard-to-find products they’ve been thinking about for a while. No, the browsers you find down on AA are the hardcore comics readers. They’re the ones looking for the up-and-comers. They’re ready to think outside of the major comics companies. They’re the ones who want more from a convention.

Going up and down the aisles of AA, the usual faces are seen. You know the ones. They have a table at every WWC. There are a few illustrators from DC and Marvel down here, looking to sell original art pages, but for the most part, the creators you meet down here are trying to get their indie books off the ground. Sadly, there isn’t much of a selection down here this time around. The familiar faces are too familiar, and nothing really jumps out at you and demands your attention.

Wait. There is a sign over one table with a picture of a large bearded man in wrestling gear shouting, “PLATO SMASH!” The book? ACTION PHILOSOPHERS! [ACTION PHILOSOPHERS review will be posted soon.]

Sadly, the only other attention-grabber is ONE YEAR IN INDIANA. The symbol for Kurt Dinse’s book is the black outline of the state of Indiana with a giant pentagram in the middle of it. They are pimping a new issue in addition to Dinse’s latest project, HURR. [ONE YEAR IN INDIANA and HURR reviews will be posted soon.]

All things considered, was C2E2 the convention Chicago deserved? According to rumor, the event coordinators were disappointed with the number of attendees. They wanted 30,000 at the least. Not only that, but McCormick Place is kind of a pain in the ass to get to, and the cost of parking is absurd. When the chips are down, and all the cards have been turned over, C2E2 is pretty much the same as WWC. Will Chicago convention goers want two conventions a year? Will they have the money for them? Time will tell for sure. Chances are, one of these two conventions will die out in the next few years, but which one will it be?

One thing is for sure: C2E2 is already planning to be here next year. Will you be there?