GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #980: CALIFORNIA RESIDENTS

 

When I transported my ancient computer from my previous basement to my hotel room and tried hooking it up, I damaged one of the wires, so I had to go out in search of a new one. I got it, and before I opened the box I noticed the warning above.

Are you a State Farm customer who has needed a glass only claim recently? If so, you will have noticed that their IVR states that California residents have options to ensure that their data is not sold by State Farm.

So California residents have it kind of nice in at least this regard. But it's baffling when I hear it, as I do not live in California. The message I get when I hear State Farm (it's actually Lynx, their TPA for glass only claims) is that California residents' data is protected, and everyone else can go fuck themselves. It's a little startling the first time you hear it. And it makes one wonder why no other fucking state is doing this.

I don't wonder, actually. The rest of the state legislatures are doing the bidding of our corporate overlords. Go on. Call your representatives. Tell them about this. Then stand back and watch them do fucking nothing. They're getting paid well by their masters (hint: their masters are not we, the people), so why risk losing a gravy train?

But the warning in the image above is just fucking insane. Insignia, the manufacturer of the wire I got, must be out of their goddammed minds to put this on the box worded in this way. Did they seriously believe the rest of us would just ignore that because it wasn't addressed to us? But it is proof that our corporate overlords don't give a single solitary fuck about us. The way I read this is, if you are a California resident, please be aware that using this product could cause cancer or possibly a miscarriage. But residents of the other 49 are going to be OK.

This is the legal bare minimum. If they were conscientious and they actually *did* care about us, they would have had that warning simply say "cancer and reproductive harm" and would not even mention California residents.

The fact that we allow this bullshit to continue is exactly why Donald J. (stands for Jerkoff) Trump is president. We let these avaricious cocksuckers dictate to us the products we'll use and how we'll use them. Nice free market you have there. I propose NO. We don't let this continue. We need to remind our corporate overlords that when all this started, *we* made the decisions. They can just pull their puds until we tell them what they can get us. And no more subscription services for shit you bought to OWN. Like renting your gas pedal after you've bought a car like a Tesla or a Mercedes. No, I bought that. That belongs to me now. And HP, you and your printers can violently and unequivocally go fuck yourselves. And if I want to repair my broken phone, I'll take it to whoever I want to, not the manufacturer so they can rip me off more.

These tariffs are crashing the economy. Did you see how much the Dow fell today? THIS IS OUR MOMENT TO STRIKE. We must convince them, by using free market tactics like simply not buying from them, that *we* make the economic decisions, not them.

Obviously you can't boycott everyone. You do, indeed, need to eat. But think about all the shit you buy that you *don't* need. Now is the time to stop buying these things. It won't be fun, but our corporate overlords will find themselves puzzling over why the economy didn't snap back after the nightmare is over (presuming it has an ending), and it will be because we made a stand against them.

If a product has the word "smart" in it, don't buy it. Stop buying electronics. Hit the techbros as hard as possible, because they're the golden gooses now. Cripple them financially, and they'll have no choice but to beg the government for a bailout.

A government that is currently busy cutting costs and would thus be unable to help.

Don't just sit back and watch the horror. Turn the horror onto the people who deserve it, the corporate overlords.

Yeah, I know, calling for an economic rebellion on a Friday night is next to useless, but at least think about it.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #974: CORPORATE ABUSE

 It never fails to amaze me that, over the course of an average workday, I talk with people going through insurance to get a glass replaced, and they're all brainwashed by the companies they do business with. Our corporations have demoralized us so badly that we blindly think we must do as they suggest.

I'll give you an example. Say I broke my windshield and needed to get it replaced. I drive a 2020 Honda Accord Sport, which means it will need a recalibration, so the price will be a lot higher than my deductible. I call my insurance, file the claim and they suggest a shop to me.

Because I constantly fight corporations I recognize this as a suggestion instead of a demand. So I'll go wherever the fuck I want to go.

But most people seem to think this is a requirement. People call all the time for glass we don't have or can't get, so I advise our only option is OEM, which takes a long time to get. Very few people want to wait for something that might take us three months to get, but they routinely accept their doom. Like our corporations have fucked us so hard and so often that we expect the merciless fucking to continue with the next company in line.

I want you to remember that YOU are the customer. YOU dictate to THEM. Because the truth is, you can go anywhere. Maybe another company has different vendors. Some shops aren't on their list of providers, which means you would go out of pocket and then get reimbursed by your insurance. But that's a rarity.

Don't go through the process of filing a claim passively. Pay attention. Advocate for yourself. Most importantly, to quote a great man, "Don't take any guff from the swine."

Because when I'm talking to such people, I can't tell them this. I'll get in trouble at work. My boss would be aghast at me turning away guaranteed work. So yes, in doing the bidding of my master, I am part of the problem. I am powerless there, but I am the master(bator?) of Goodnight, Fuckers.

Don't sleepwalk through their abuse of you. Listen to what they say. Be critical. Get things done YOUR way. The customer is right in this instance. Go where you want to go.