GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #833: SPINAL INJECTIONS

 Today was my fourth and hopefully final spinal injection. The others were fairly easy because they knocked me out for the procedure. But not today. I got to enjoy the sensation of several needles penetrating my spine this morning.

They gave me some local on my back. That wasn't very pleasant, but it did numb me. That didn't stop me from feeling the needles, though. I could feel the pressure of them going in, but when they injected the steroids I felt a burn that was far from pleasant.

But it's over. The procedures and surgeries are finally over. I no longer have to worry about this shit. It was rough, but now I can move on with my life.

At least until the next fucking thing comes along. Remember, for my body it's a rule. When one thing gets resolved, another thing shows its ugly face. So who knows how long I'll get to enjoy the feeling of not worrying about that shit before the next thing arrives?

My heart rate was up today, so they gave me Valium to calm down. I've never taken that before. It made me feel like a ghost of myself. You know how when you've been drinking all night in a hotel room (for reasons, I tell you, reasons), and when you step out into the next day you're blinded by the sun? That's how I felt when I left the hospital today. It was weird not being hungover in that moment.

I've got too many personal battles to fight. I'm exhausted, and it's starting to look like I might as well give up, but the success of my spinal injections today has bolstered my will to fight. I would give anything to have ordinary fucking problems. I remember what that was like, what, fifteen years ago? I told a friend I would give both balls and three inches of my dick to never suffer from my stomach illness again, and I fucking mean it.

I am so goddam tired.

All right, I'll have to figure out how to get back to my numbering scheme. I might do another GF tomorrow. I don't know. Or I'll just do two next week. We'll see.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #814: OH, THE SPINAL INJECTIONS YOU'RE GOING TO GET!

 I think I might have mentioned here that I've been getting spinal injections for my bad foot and for the pain in my back. I've had three of them so far, and the fourth and final one is scheduled for next Thursday.

Except . . .

Today I saw the doctor I originally saw for this, not the pain clinic doc. We were discussing next steps, and I told him about the injections. He said he does those procedures himself and knows they're good, and he's glad I'm feeling better, but he doesn't think that last injection will help me. It will be the same as the one I got last Thursday, meaning it won't be different like the other two. It's for arthritis in my back, and he doesn't think it will help with what he thinks is causing the pain.

Because now that I've had an MRI he can see the discs between my vertebrae. Two of them we already knew were too thin, but now we can see they're bulging, too. Not much. Just enough to cause the pain. He says an epidural injection would be more beneficial to me, and that it should kill the pain but good.

So now I'm wondering what the hell I should do. I'm leaning toward doing the epidural and canceling next week's injection, but I want to talk to the pain clinic first. I also have a bunch of new info in my MyChart to look over in regards to the epidural. It's not a decision I need to make today, so I'm going to think about it tomorrow and over the weekend. I'll figure it out by Monday.

To do one spinal injection, or to do a different one? It's gonna suck either way. I view it as an Alien v Predator situation: whoever wins, we lose.