GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #98: MY THOUGHTS ON THE CONSTANTINE TV SHOW

OK, I'll admit it. I went into the show thinking I was going to hate it. There was a part of me that hoped for the best, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. I knew that I'd get the New 52 version of John Constantine, which I loathe, for the most part.


But something interesting happened. CONSTANTINE, the TV show, wound up in the middle ground between HELLBLAZER and the New 52. I did not expect that, and I was pleasantly surprised.


Before we go any further, I want to state that I despise the idea of John Constantine, exorcist. He's not, all right? While he's had practice booting demons out of people, he's not an exorcist by trade. And I also dislike the idea that he doesn't smoke. Ordinarily, I wouldn't care about something like that, but the comic book version of him DOES smoke, and it's not a superficial ain't-I-cool kind of thing. It actually fits into the story, in particular the Dangerous Habits storyline.


But there were two moments in the pilot episode that sold me on the TV show. The first was when Constantine spiritually blackmails a character into doing his bidding. When you look at HELLBLAZER, very little of it is magic. It's almost always a con job. Constantine does have magical abilities, but 80% of his character is made up of conning other people into doing shit he wants done. That one moment is absolutely Constantine-ish enough for me.


And then there's the other side. Constantine isn't just a mystical character armed with wisecracks and a penchant for being in the wrong place at the right time. He's also a dude who likes to hang out, have a few drinks, get some laughs out of his mates. The very end of the episode shows him in a bar with his friend Chas, getting boozed up and bullshitting about something your friends would bullshit about. That's the part that the New 52 always forgets about.


But . . . goddammit. HELLBLAZER is a story of British horror. I'm glad they kept Constantine rooted in the UK (and they actually got an actor who looks like the character this time), but I hate that this show happens in America. I'm not sure that this could be fixed for a modern audience, though. As soon as Constantine took on the lead role in HELLBLAZER (he was always a supporting character in SWAMP THING before), Jamie Delano, the first writer of the series, definitely put a particular stamp on the character. I don't think you can have a Constantine who wasn't a young man during the Maggie Thatcher period of England. It had such an overpowering effect on the character and the storyline that a modern audience can't connect with the original John Constantine anymore. My John Constantine was a period character. He'd be in his sixties now, to give you a good idea. Of course, Nergal's blood has kept his appearance much younger than you'd expect, but still.


The TV show is good. Not great, but good. What would make it better? Chas being a hard man and British. He doesn't need to be involved with magic like he is on the show. It would be nice if his wife was introduced, considering her hatred of Constantine and the situations that could get the two characters into. What else? Well, I love that Astra is a major character point on the show, but it would be great if the people who died during that incident were haunting Constantine, like in the comics. Also, if those who died in SWAMP THING were haunting him like in the comics? That would be amazing.


It's too early to say, but my fellow comics fans know Constantine as a guy who will sacrifice his friends for the greater good. Maybe we could have some of that taking place on the TV show?


CONSTANTINE earns extra points for the Dr. Fate reference. I desperately hope that will come into play later on the show. Anyone who read the original BOOKS OF MAGIC by Neil Gaiman will appreciate this. Currently, the New 52 is trying to pull some kind of stunt with Dr. Fate. It's actually not bad, but it could be better. Waaaaay fuckin' better.


I've got high hopes for the TV show. I'll definitely be back next week, and probably every week after. I didn't expect that.

C2E2 2013: MEETING LEN WEIN

It’s not every day that one meets a comics legend.  In fact, he’s the only comics legend I’ve ever met.  I once saw Stan Lee from a distance, but that’s not the same thing.  Len Wein created Swamp Thing, for Christ’s sake.

It was shocking how short his line was.  There were only two people in front of me, which surprised the hell out of me.  This is the guy who edited the WATCHMEN when Alan Moore was writing it, and this was how much people cared to meet him?  Every year I see Brian Azzarello doing a signing, it always surprises me that very few people line up to meet him, and he’s the best American writer in the industry right now.  (Ed Brubaker is a very close second.)  And now I see Len Wein in a similar situation?

When I got up to meet him, there seemed to be something off about him.  It took me a moment to realize that he was actually sick, and he was doing his best to put on a good show for his fans.  His hands shook a lot, and every smile he wore seemed strained and painful, but he was trying to tough it out for his fans.

That’s truly amazing.  Most of these guys get the sniffles, and they cancel their appearances.  Wein is a hell of a guy for doing this.

One of the things I brought with me was a reprint of HOUSE OF SECRETS #92, which was the first appearance of Swamp Thing.  I apologized to him for bringing a mere reprint, but getting the real thing was a bit expensive these days.  He waved a dismissive hand and said, “The story’s the same, no matter the edition.”  And he’s right.  Some truths are eternal.

Sadly, when I got home, I noticed that the autograph on that issue got smudged.  It’s still legible, but it kind of disappointed me.  It happened because after he’d signed my books, I noticed his line had grown a bit when my back was turned.  In my hurry to get out of the next fan’s way, I didn’t wait long enough for the ink to dry.

But here’s the thing:  it doesn’t matter if his signature is on it.  The story is the important thing, whether it has his handwriting on it or not.  Len Wein is a wise man, and I hope you all get the chance to meet him someday.

C2E2 2013: THE NEW 52 PANEL

All right, this was the panel I was least interested in.  I don’t care much for DC (just like I don’t care much for Marvel).  I only read their books when it’s a character I love (which is rare), or if a book is written by a writer I respect.  Not surprisingly, it was the most overcrowded panel I attended at the con.  Standing room only.

You know why I went there.  I have only 2 DC interests, and believe you me, these days they are waning.  I didn’t even know who most of the panelists were.  I recognized Peter Tomasi, Bob Harras, and Doug Mahnke, but I had to resort to the internet to identify the others as Bobbie Chase, Charles Soule, Sterling Gates, Kyle Higgins, Aaron Kuder, and Patrick Gleason.

(Before I go any further, I should mention a pretty decent thing the DC folks are doing:  We Can Be Heroes.  It’s an Indiegogo charity to fight hunger.  They’ve raised more than 2 million so far.  You can get some pretty cool stuff, like exclusives, special editions, extras, all sorts of stuff.  If you buy these things, DC matches your donation.  Not bad, eh?)

Anyway, I didn’t really care much about what their topics, for the most part.  They say there are no plans for a new Robin just yet, but then they hinted that there might be a new Robin soon.  You know, the usual Big Two bullshit.  In the meantime, they’re portraying Batman going through the five stages of grief, and at the same time, it looks like Nightwing has moved to Chicago.  That got a cheer out of the room.  It would seem that the guy who killed Dick Grayson’s parents is still alive and living under an assumed name.  Nightwing is in Chicago hunting him down.  The villain sounds like a SAW ripoff.  That could be cool, but ultimately, it’s not a thing for me.  Oh yeah, and the new Batwing is the son of Lucius Fox.  They also talked about SUPERMAN UNCHAINED, which is coming out the Wedneday just before the new Superman movie is released.  Scott Snyder is writing that one, but hell.  It’s Superman.  I can’t bring myself to care.

The stuff I was there for:  John Constantine and Jonah Hex, of course.  It would seem that the DC writers have been planning something called the Trinity War in the Justice League books from the start of the New 52, and that includes JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK, for some reason.  It involves Pandora and the Phantom Stranger.  I kind of like the Phantom Stranger, but he does not need his own book.  Am I the only one saying that?  Guys like him can’t have their own books.  They need to be enigmatic, showing up in other people’s books from time to time.  If you give him his own book, he loses all of that shit.  Besides, constant exposure to him will eventually wear thin.

ANYWAY . . . the new SWAMP THING writer has a few plans for John Constantine outside of the Trinity War.  He goes to a small town in Scotland that has grown something called a Whiskey Tree (and I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like I might be reading that issue of SWAMP THING).

And then there’s ALL-STAR WESTERN.  You know how recently I was gleeful that we were finally getting Hex back to his western roots?  And then he teamed up with Booster fucking Gold?  Well, I’m about to get even more disappointed with the series.  Coming soon, Hex will be TIME TRAVELING TO MODERN TIMES.  Oh yeah, and while he’s in the 21^st Century, he’ll be GOING BACK TO GOTHAM CITY.  Motherfucker!  Are you shitting me?  Do you remember the last time Hex time traveled?  We got stuck with fucking HEX.  How well did that work out?  It was canceled after 18 issues (which was 18 too many, if you ask me).  I can only assume that we’ll be losing this book pretty soon.

One of the last things they talked about was a free guide that will be coming out at the end of the month in comic book stores everywhere.  It’s a list of all the DC graphic novels and the suggested order you should read them in.

I didn’t have the stomach to stick around for the Q&A session, I was that disgusted.  At least they gave me a copy of BATMAN #701 for free.  It was actually a pretty good read, but since it was written by Grant Morrison, I wasn’t that surprised.

C2E2 2013 Interview: ERIC POWELL

I’ve been a long-time fan of THE GOON, ever since my friend CJ told me about the book. (CJ is the guy who got me back into comics, by the way. He’s the one who lent me EVIL ERNIE, PREACHER, and HITMAN and changed my life. So yeah, I always listen when he suggests something. You wouldn’t be reading any of this without him being in my life.) I knew writer and artist Eric Powell would be at C2E2 last year, but I wound up getting sick, so I didn’t get to see him. This time around, I made a promise to myself that not only would I meet him, I’d try to get an interview. Keep in mind, this guy had worked for not only the Big Two, but for a lot of the runners-up. In fact, I can’t think of a company he hasn’t worked for (he even worked for Avatar, although few will remember that THE GOON started there). I expected he’d be a bit difficult to get to.



When I saw him on Friday, I noticed only a handful of people in front of him. What the fuck? His line should have been around the corner, at least. When I got up to him, I asked him for an interview, and he said that would be fine. But he had just arrived and was still setting up. Besides, I knew that Sundays were usually the best days for interviews. I told him I’d be back on Sunday, and he said fine.


When I came back on Sunday, I was surprised to find yet again that no one was standing by his table. He sat there, sketching. Alone. I still can’t get my head around it. (I call it Brian Azzarello Syndrome; Azzarello is the greatest American comic book writer we have, and he never has more than a handful of people waiting in line to meet him at signings.)


Here is what Powell had to say.


JOHN BRUNI: Here we are with Eric Powell, creator of THE GOON. THE GOON is a great mixture of H.P. Lovecraft and Eisner’s THE SPIRIT. It’s a wonderful combination of humor and horror. What got you started down this unusual path?


ERIC POWELL: From the very beginning, I set out to do a book that I would have fun drawing. I just sort of threw everything in there that I like to draw. Monsters and noir, and all that stuff. The weird mixture of stuff comes from my laziness of just wanting to draw what I like to draw.


JB: I’ve noticed that things are getting grimmer as the series progresses. Was this your plan all along? To make us laugh and then make us cry?


EP: I want, from issue to issue, for the content to be a little different. Because as a reader myself, when I read a comic, even one that I really love, it starts to get repetitive and do the same thing over and over again. It gets boring, and you lose interest. I want the reader to not know what’s coming next. Is this one going to be funny? Is it going to make me cry? This is something I set out to do from the beginning, to have a book I could tell any kind of story in. I can tell a serious story. I can tell something off the wall. I’m still trying to do that. I hope it keeps working.


JB: A while ago, there was THE GOON Kickstarter. The movie is still happening, right?


EP: The Kickstarter was to fund an animation reel, which is basically just a really crude version of the movie made from storyboards, so you can go into a meeting with executives and say, “All right, watch this DVD and see what the whole movie’s going to be like.” The Kickstarter to fund that was extremely successful. They’re working on the storyboards right now. It’s definitely given us a boost, and hopefully when we go for a second round of pitches trying to sell this, the crowd involvement will help show them that people want this thing.


JB: You’ve also done some great work on the SWAMP THING covers. Some of my favorite covers were done by you. Any more plans to work with DC?


EP: They haven’t asked. I’m pretty busy doing my own stuff right now. There’s not a whole lot of time to fit anything else in. I’m keeping focused on my material.


JB: What else do you have coming up besides THE GOON?


EP: Right now, it’s all just GOON stuff. I have a couple of other projects I want to do, but THE GOON is taking up most of my time.


JB: One more question. Frankie’s catchphrase: “Knife to the eye!” What twisted corner of your mind did that come from?


EP: To be honest, it was perfectly random. I was drawing a panel, and I was going to have this part where he was really sweet to this guy, being kind and gentle, and then he’ll just stab him in the eye. Just having him scream, “Knife to the eye!” seemed like the thing to do. It was completely random. There was no real thought put into that.


If you’re not reading THE GOON, you are a fool. Eric Powell is an amazing writer and artist, and when THE GOON movie comes out and kicks ass, you’re going to feel sorry that you didn’t get in on this action early. There are 12 volumes, and none of them are out of print. The most recent one is blast-your-balls-off funny, at least until the last chapter. Then, Powell does something so grim it hurts. Get to it!

SHIT SHIT 6-23-11

BRIGHTEST DAY AFTERMATH:  THE SEARCH FOR SWAMP THING #1:  I hate what DC is doing.  I hate it, hate it, hate it.  John Constantine has found his niche in the Vertigo world.  Why do you have to drag him into your stupid summer mega-epic crossover?  Yes, I know, JC started out in the DCU, but those were different times.  Alan Moore was writing SWAMP THING back then, remember?  DC horror books were pretty fucking edgy in those days.  You could do things back then that you just can't get away with now.  So what we're stuck with is a defanged Constantine.  What better way to kill off interest in him?  How about get him to go to Gotham so he can find Batman, so they can hunt down the missing Swamp Thing.  Because Batman's the greatest detective ever, right?  He can find anyone, even if he's hiding out in the Green.  Jesus, why am I reading this crap?  Jonathan Vankin doesn't know how to write this character.  I'm certain he just read ABOUT Constantine.  There's no balls to this book.  Imagine Woody Allen playing Darth Vader.  That's how this feels.  But at least Vankin did his homework.  He knows that Swamp Thing actually is NOT Alec Holland (which escapes a lot of people), and he knows that Constantine had a fling with Zatana.  So the facts are in place.  The attitude?  Nowhere in sight.  Fuck this book.