GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #817: TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE, REDUX

 My brother, Alex, shares his birthday with Kurt Russell on March 17. That's pretty cool. Up until 5 seconds ago I was only aware that I shared a birthday with Walter Payton, which only really means something if you live in my neck of the woods. The reason I say "until 5 seconds ago" is because I Googled it, and it looks like there are other celebrities who have their birthday on July 25. I don't really give much of a shit about Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus and Matt LeBlanc, but holy shit! Woody Strode was born on July 25! So was Walter Brennan, which probably means nothing to many of you. But Natalie Portman might get your attention.

Ooh. La-di-da. Look at me. Jeez. Anyway.

The reason I bring up Kurt Russell is because he does a fantastic job as Wyatt Earp in the movie, Tombstone. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that, kind of like I don't have to tell you that water is wet. I noticed something that not many other people talk about, which is that Russell adds a particular flavor to his acting style in this one. I saw it again in H8ful Eight and in Bone Tomahawk, which others *have* mentioned, but if you really want to go back he did it in Big Trouble in Little China, where it's a lot more pronounced.

In these films Russell adds quite a bit of John Wayne to his performances. Go back and watch Tombstone again. You'll hear it in Russell's speech patterns.

It's a funny thing. If you go back to the very beginning of John Wayne's career, back when he was still signing photos as "Marion," it turns out that Wayne modeled his demeanor after this guy who used to hang out on the sets of westerns in Hollywood's infancy. He thought this guy was the toughest son of a bitch he'd ever met and wanted to be just like him. He walked like this guy, he talked like this guy. The very persona of the Duke that everyone around my age is very familiar with was all based on this one guy.

This guy was there as a consultant. You see, he'd actually been part of the Wild West. He'd been the law in cow towns like Abilene and Dodge City (yes, Dodge City!). In fact, he ran a faro table in Tombstone. It's difficult to say how many men this guy killed, but the estimates range from eight to upwards of thirty.

That's the thing, though. He didn't *just* run a faro table in Tombstone. That guy's name?

His name was Wyatt Earp.

Time is a flat circle.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #195: SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO DO SOMEDAY

There are two things you should read in order to get anything out of this GF. The first is my favorite GF I've ever done. It's about a picture that always brings me to tears and the tragedy of Audie Murphy. The other is my Forced Viewing review of GODS AND MONSTERS.


I'm not a big fan of fictionalized stories about real life people. I don't care about Edgar Allan Poe hunting serial killers. As far as I'm concerned Lovecraft never faced off against Cthulhu. And so on. You can point fingers at me for writing about the time that GG Allin went on a dream-quest for dope. Or the time I wrote about Doc Holliday stealing Wyatt Earp's body so he could survive TB. That's fair enough. Because I believe there are some exceptions.


My favorite exception is GODS AND MONSTERS. Is that how James Whale spent his last days? Probably not. But it's a wonderful, beautiful, shocking story.


I kinda want to do the same thing for Audie Murphy. The idea of him going crazy while watching a war movie based on his experience in which he plays himself is creatively stimulating. I would love to sink my teeth into something like that. There is so much nuance in a tale like that. There is so much that could be done. It's impossible to resist.


Is there anyone in the world who would be interested in that? I know that not a lot of people know who Audie Murphy is now. Chances are I'd be writing something that only people over 50 would appreciate. But it's something I'd like to do. I know some publishers. Would any of you want to see something like that? Let me know.