DANCON: THE UNEXPECTED CONVENTION

Every time I cover a convention like Wizard World Chicago or C2E2, I almost always say that my favorite part is Artists Alley. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy meeting celebrities and has-beens and big name comics creators just as much as the next guy, but the true magic of the con experience is finding an amazing new book from an up and coming writer or artist (or in many cases, both in one person).

I discovered that a few of my friends were going to be at DanCon this year, and truth be told, since it didn’t get much attention, I didn’t really think about covering it. And then I found out that it’s in Orland Park, which is not far from my native Elmhurst, and that the price of entry is only three bucks. To top it all off, it’s one big Artists Alley. That’s it. No celebrities, very few vendors. Indie creators are the main draw of the place.

That doesn’t stop cosplayers. The very first thing I saw as I parked was some kid dressed up as Captain America, shield and all. I walked in the doors and saw the shortest con line I have ever seen, which warmed my heart, considering the garbage one has to go through to get into WWC. They also give you a bunch of free stuff, including a Hellboy mask.

Inside, it’s a very intimate setting. There are no lines to meet anyone. Maybe that’s a bad thing, since it usually indicates that someone isn’t worth the attention. However, if you see a book that really turns you on, you don’t have to wait to meet the creators. They’re just there. It’s very easy to meet new people. No one is on guard. It’s a very slow, laid-back environment.

There aren’t any creeps, either. The only problem I noticed was a guy who walked around playing really atrocious music loudly. The wife of the showrunner came by, asking if the guy was being obnoxious with his tunes. They’d already told the dude to turn down his music, and according to all reports, he was a dick about it. With reinforcement from the creators, she had security throw the guy out.

That’s it. Aside from that, there were no big problems.

Granted, it’s a small environment, and it’s only on a Sunday, from ten in the morning to four in the afternoon, so there isn’t a lot of room for problems, but still, that’s an amazing feat.

I got to catch up with friends there, as with every con. I saw Jon Lennon and Leo Perez, as always. Mat Festa was also there, as was Kurt Dinse. It was altogether an excellent experience with no tension or pressure at all.

Unfortunately, some of the strengths of the show also feed its main weakness: it’s a small show. There isn’t a lot to see. I still managed to come home with a good bundle of books, and I only spent about $100, but it wasn’t even a fraction of what an Artists Alley at, say, C2E2 would be. I would like to see more variety in their future, but I can promise one thing: if they’re back next year, I will be there. It’s a great time, and I recommend you all join me in its glories.

I just hope they move on from the stamp system. I’m a big fan of lanyards to get into a show. Hell, I’d even take a stupid wristband. That wouldn’t be so bad, since DanCon is only a day long. But a stamp? Fuck. First of all, I’m a sweaty motherfucker. By the end of the day, the mark was almost gone. I also had to avoid washing my right hand after going to the bathroom, lest I wash the mark away. That’s fine for number one (I hold my dick with my left hand), but for number two, I wipe with my right hand. Thank Christ I didn’t have to take a shit that day.

One more thing: while I was there, I commissioned a great work of art. I promised the artist I wouldn’t reveal his or her identity, but I would be remiss if I didn’t share the piece here. You may recognize these two parties as Jon Lennon and Josh Filer. Or you may be too lost in the nutsack and the grotesque double cumshot. But here is one of my favorite pieces ever. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do. It’s worth the $20 I spent on it and so much more.

COOL SHIT 4-10-14

KICK-ASS 3 #7: (Please remember that Cool Shit contains spoilers. To quote a great man, “Tread lightly.”) Mark Millar’s not fucking around. This is the end of KICK-ASS. He pulls a very bizarre move in this issue though: he has the Motherfucker turn on his Mafia family and try to save Hit-Girl. I’m unclear as to why he does this. It’s completely out of character for him. Is it just so he can have his Hobgoblin-from-the-third-Spider-Man moment? Ugh. Not that it matters, though, since the Motherfucker gets killed in this issue. Seriously, Millar is an animal. He could do anything. There is one issue left, and there’s no way to predict the ending. For all we know, Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass die in the end. I suspect Hit-Girl will get it. I don’t know about Kick-Ass, but we’ll see soon. (PS: I love Big Daddy’s monster truck.)

G.I. JOE: SPECIAL MISSIONS #14: This one is reminiscent of the old Marvel G.I. JOE book. This is the perfect example of a Special Mission, taking one character and spotlighting him in the field. This is Lowlight’s book as he faces off against a Cobra sniper with a wounded Mainframe in the middle of it all. Since COBRA FILES ended, I’ve been greatly disappointed with this title. It was nice to see this one go out on top with a cool issue. That’s right, this is the last issue of SM. We’re stuck with the regular G.I. JOE from here on out (and the original Hama series, which is hit or miss). It’s a shame. I hope the next step for IDW and these characters is much better than what we’ve been getting lately.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE #4: And so the first story arc ends. It comes to a very satisfying ending. I’m not sure if it’s something that Rod Serling would have done, but tone-wise, I think he would have been proud. The only problem I have with it is the introduction of the next story by interweaving it with this one in an odd hybrid of an epilogue/prologue. It seems a bit cheap. I’d rather do without it. Besides, it ruins the effect of the final monologue (which, presumably, belongs to Serling). But I’ll reserve judgment until I’ve read the next issue.

THE WALKING DEAD #125: Here we have it, ladies and gentlemen. The moment of truth. Rick vs. Negan, one on one. Except . . . it’s not the two-fisted battle in a boiler room you might expect. No, it’s a verbal argument. And shockingly enough, Rick gives Negan a wonderful argument for why the war should end. He’s of the opinion that they could achieve wonderful things if they just worked together instead of trying to kill each other. Surprise! Rick gets through to Negan. He sees the light. It looks like we’re going to have a peace agreement. Too bad Rick fucking slits Negan’s throat. All right, I don’t really think he does a good enough job. I’ll bet next issue, it will be revealed to be a shallow job, and Negan’s going to make it. Kirkman’s not done with a guy like Negan, not yet. No fucking way. We don’t have his backstory yet. But we’ll see. Next issue is the last of “All Out War.”

Here’s a bonus: NEXT TESTAMENT #8. I’m going to review it next week on Wednesday at the Napalm Reviews, but I just wanted to share this wonderful image from this book with you. Haemi Jang is a wonderful artist.

Stay tuned next week for a special announcement concerning this column.

A VERY UNUSUAL ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: A DanCon review of APOCALYPSE MAN

You’ve seen all kinds of different zombie apocalypses, but this one is very different. In the world of this book, one moment you can be a regular guy, and the next your body is swelling up with alien eggs until you explode.  The eggs then hatch to become giant monsters. Well, it’s not that fast. You do have some time to stagger around like, well, like a zombie, but when it hits you, it comes fast.

The focus of this story is Bryan and his family of survivors: bad-ass with a shotgun Adrienne, snarky kid Blake and fat dude Aaron. They lament the passing of their loved ones, but in an odd way, they’re grateful that they didn’t survive to see how terrible the world is now. But mostly, their biggest problem is trying to get Aaron to stop eating all their food.

And then, the unexpected happens. They’re surrounded by zombies bursting with monster eggs and the very monsters that grow from them, and all hope seems to have left them . . . and if someone ruins the ending of this book for you, they should be thrown into a pit of horse cum.

The remarkable thing about APOCALYPSE MAN is that it’s a one-shot. It isn’t the first in a series, and there is no promise for a continuation. Not enough stories are handled this way in comics. As with TV and movies, there is always the greedy desire to get a story out there that turns out to be so popular, people want more of it. This is completely contained within itself, which is why it manages to make the strong statement that it does.

Writer and artist Brad Sun certainly knows what he’s doing. With the exception of the monsters, this could be any old story. It could have been made in a cookie cutter, but with the sudden turn of events near the end, it catapults itself into a whole new realm. The artwork is a perfect match. It’s dark and rough, just like the world it portrays. And the monsters are just disgusting.

If you’re looking for a quick, great read, look no further.

APOCALYPSE MAN

Written and illustrated by Brad Sun

Published by Sunbros Studios

40 pages

$5 (I think)

ONE QUESTION INTERVIEWS: JOHN EVERSON

John Everson is a Stoker-winning horror novelist located in Naperville, IL. He was one of the Dorchester writers before the company collapsed. Under their banner, he wrote books like COVENANT, SACRIFICE, THE 13^TH and SIREN. He is now working with Samhain. I first met him at Flashback Weekend, where I bought the limited edition hardcover of THE 13^TH, which has amazing artwork on the dust jacket, and I ran into him again at DanCon. This is my question for him:

ME: I noticed in the acknowledgements of THE 13^TH that a lot of the book had been written in bars, notoriously loud places with plenty of distractions. How do you manage to write in such a strange, loud environment?

JOHN EVERSON: That one’s easy, actually. The wall of noise creates a Cone of Silence, really. If I’m in a bar when they’re not playing music and there are only a few people in there, my ear will immediately pick up the conversation at the table next to me, and I won’t be able to do anything. When it’s really busy and the music’s loud, it’s just a buzz, and I can go into my own space. The thing I like about writing in that environment is, unlike in my house, where there are a million things that need to be done—I can feed the birds or clean the bird cages or clean up my office or make dinner or whatever, or talk to my son. In a bar, I can’t do anything. I’m not going to just walk around. I stay seated at the booth, people bring me beer, which is always a good thing until the bill comes, so I get a lot done there. I’ll spend three or four hours there, and it’s private me time.

His new book is VIOLET EYES and can be purchased here. Usually, I just leave plugs nice and simple like that, but he said a bit more when I asked him about the new book, and I thought you might enjoy this, so here you go.

JE: The new book is called VIOLET EYES, and it was also written in many bars. It’s sort of my big KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS book. It was a lot of fun to write. And in the acknowledgements, I say I’ve always done a lot of writing in pubs. In this one, I put where it was written. Bars in Ft. Worth, TX, Florida, Toronto, Vancouver and Munich, Germany, my first trip abroad. I went there for business a few days and got some writing done.

John Everson’s website is here, and you can follow him on Twitter at @JohnEverson

IT CAME FROM CHEESELORD: A review of THE THING THAT CAME FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING

Meet writer and illustrator Angel Onofre. He’s the new blood at CheeseLord Comics, an indie press known for severe depravity and hopeless despair. How does Onofre measure up?

Well, in this book there isn’t a lot of hopeless despair, but there is a certain kind of depravity. It’s not the same brand, but it’s definitely fucked up. The protagonist is Angel, who one day decides, out of the blue, that he wants to create a webcomic, but he doesn’t know how to figure out HTML. On the advice of a crackhead, he goes to a drug dealer who knows someone with great HTML skills, but first Angel must do something for him: deliver a letter.

If you know anything about CheeseLord Comics, you know that letter isn’t very innocuous. It leads Angel down a road of aliens, space drugs, poop and death.

It’s very strange, because unlike other CheeseLord books, the humor here is actually light hearted. It’s fun, and it helps that the style is so cartoonish. Everything is so exaggerated and over the top, it makes one feel like this could have happened in the world of Ren and Stimpy. Even scenes involving lots of violent death come off as hilarious.

And you will never guess where the story is going. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, and when you read the description of the next issue, you’ll laugh your ass off. Buy this book and find out what happens when you take space drugs, and why it’s never good to snort something that fell from the sky.

THE THING THAT CAME FROM SPACE OR SOMETHING!

Written and illustrated by Angel Onofre

Published by CheeseLord Comics

38 pages

$5

COOL SHIT 4-3-14

CROSSED: BADLANDS #51: To be honest, I’m not a big fan of the patient zero story of this series. I much prefer not knowing how the plague started. Yet, it IS written by Garth Ennis, and it’s winning me over. It’s so strange to see the Crossed running around without the cross and still remaining somewhat lucid in their rape-y violence. It’s also becoming very apparent that the whole thing will be kicked off by some fuck-up from a bureaucrat, which titillates me to no end.

G.I. JOE SPECIAL MISSIONS #13: I’m practically checked out of IDW’s G.I. Joe books, ever since they ended THE COBRA FILES. Still, this issue features a guest appearance from Putin hisownfuckingself. I’m waiting for the day the real Putin kicks the shit out of a reporter on live TV. He’s probably too cold for something like that, but he does have a pumped up masculine image of himself, so . . .

CALIBAN #1: A double dose of Ennis! This one’s weird because Avatar doesn’t often do SF (hey, it’s been a while since they regularly published STARGATE SG-1), and neither does Ennis. Here we have an interesting concept: what happens when two spaceships, both in their own subspace, cross paths. It doesn’t turn out well for the crew of the Caliban, in particular the poor bastard pictured above. It’s going to be interesting to see where the story goes from here.

TRILLIUM #8: Did I miss a memo or something? I could have sworn this was a regular monthly series, and here we are at the last issue. I did some poking around, and it would seem that it was always meant to be eight issues, but I have my suspicions that it wasn’t. If it was canceled, shame on Vertigo. This is one of the best books they have going right now. Still, it came to an amazing, mind-bending ending. The last few pages contain some of the best work I’ve seen from Jeff Lemire. All told, this couldn’t have been a more perfect ending. I’m very satisfied. I’m going to miss this book.

NO, NOT THAT KIND OF DICK: A review of DICK MUMMY

This book actually has a cool concept. Take your average noir detective and make him a mummy. Not just any mummy, though, one who has to keep sacrificing pieces of himself in a spell in order to stay alive. Set him loose on the dark streets, where werewolves and zombies roam, and you have a pretty decent book.

Dick Mummy even has a great inner monologue. It reads like poetry, it really does. He’s also got a magic bug that can track people. He has a quest: to find the Accursed Six, a team of villainous mummies.

All of this has a lot of promise, but sadly the book doesn’t deliver like it should. The main problem is in the execution. As awesome as the inner monologue is, it just destroys the story entirely. Dick Mummy finds a group of werewolves in an alley, along with a young boy who died in the middle of a transition from human to wolf. Dick Mummy tracks down the werewolves and finds zombies instead. Etc. So rest assured, there is a story, but you wouldn’t know it from reading the book.

Every detail of the story that we don’t get from the artwork is given to us through the filter of Dick Mummy. There is no dialogue. There really isn’t any character interaction. For the most part, we’re reading Dick Mummy’s thoughts as he wanders around his city, and when something happens, we’re still lost in his thoughts. Because of this, we’re distanced from the action. A story that should be popping off the pages instead seems bland, the background to a character who is waaaaay too involved with himself. It’s a shame. Writer Peter W. Caton has an interesting idea. If only he knew how to tell it and let actions and characters speak for themselves.

Artist Greg Hiatt is amazing, though. The image of that poor kid, stuck between human and wolf in death, is chilling. The Accursed Six are decadent and vile. The werewolves are formidable and scary. Dick Mummy himself looks pretty cool and awful, what with his rotting face under a classic fedora.

It would seem that this book is a spin-off of another series. It might have been a bit too soon to give him his own title, at least for now. Maybe he’ll fare better in the future. For now, it’s a serviceable book. You’ll enjoy the monologue as a piece on its own. However, as part of a story? It gets in the way too much.

DICK MUMMY #1

Written by Peter W. Caton

Illustrated by Greg Hiatt

Published by Moon Comics

17 pages

$4.50