SHIT SHIT 1-13-11

Sorry folks, but nothing interesting came out this week. In fact, it was such a small week, I’m surprised. I can actually afford tonight’s outing at Shark City. Weird.



However, since it’s the new year, I thought I would take this opportunity to mention a few things that are bothering me about the world of comics these days. Grab a helmet and buckle in. I’m kind of angry.


DC, you are my first target. Don’t worry, it’s not about the content of your books. It’s always been bad with very few exceptions. (All right, I’m still pissed off that HITMAN got canceled. It was the best book you put out since the original JONAH HEX. Fuckers.) No, my gripe is with the presentation of your new books. It’s a nice design, and it jumps off the racks, so I guess it does its job. Maybe it’s a bit plain, but that’s just my opinion. The problem, though, is the lack of identification of those who worked on the title. Where are the writer and artist’s names? I will always buy JONAH HEX, even if you send him to the future again. However, the only time I’ll read, say, BATMAN or SUPERMAN is if they are written by people I admire. I followed BATMAN when Ed Brubaker helmed the title. I read Brian Azzarello’s SUPERMAN. I would never have read GREEN ARROW if not for Kevin Smith. When their runs ended, I stopped reading. So if Garth Ennis starts writing TEEN TITANS (for whatever ungodly reason), it will benefit your company to put his name on the cover. I, for one, will buy it.


Next up: alternate takes on the G.I. JOE and/or TRANSFORMERS universe. The main story lines for these books are good enough for me. The occasional mini-series is awesome. But I don’t give a fuck about what’s going on in a parallel universe to these characters. 100% of the time, it’s lame. It’s worse than lame. I hear you say, “If you don’t like them so much, don’t read them.” Fair enough. However, there is always the danger of the alternate world crossing over with the main storyline, and nothing would piss me off more. The TRANSFORMERS ANIMATED books are horrible, by the way. I tried them, and they made me want to jab a heated sewing needle into my asshole. And while we’re at it, can we kill the TRANSFORMERS MOVIE line of books? And if G.I. JOE NOIR comes back for more issues, I will take hostages.

To a lesser extent, I hope the resurrection of the original G.I. JOE Marvel series doesn’t last long. The idea is cool. Get Larry Hama to continue the series that captivated me when I was a kid. But the new Joe books kick the shit out of this relic from the past. In fact, the book kind of comes off as naïve. Let the old continuity die. It soldiered its way through many years in the ‘Eighties and ‘Nineties; it has earned its rest.

One more thing: Nice Stargate, TRANSFORMERS PRIME. Who are you going to rip off next?


Here’s some praise: thank you, Vertigo, for seeing the wisdom in dumping JACK OF FABLES. It was an awesome book for a long time, but the last year or so has sucked a donkey dick. This is a smart move. That is all.