Wednesday, April 5, 2023

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #648: THREE WAYS TO KEEP A FRIEND . . .

 I was going through my stuff the other day and found this pamphlet that was given to me at some point during junior high.




Huh. OK, I didn't have many friends when I was a kid. I'm listening. What are three ways to keep a friend? Oh wait, that's not the end of the sentence. Let's open this up and see what's what.




What in the unholy fuck?!


I don't know if you can read that, but it's essentially advice for how to stop a friend from driving drunk. I would have been between ten and thirteen, a few years away from being able to drive and even more from being able to drink. Who were these junior high kids getting wasted and then driving? Was I hanging out with the wrong crowd?


Dammit. Maybe I was too sheltered as a kid. I should have had more friends from the wrong (right?) side of the track. I feel cheated. I, too, should have been getting hammered and driving drunk before I was even in high school.


I feel ripped off. Thanks, universe.

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