COOL SHIT 5-5-11

AXE COP: BAD GUY EARTH #3: This mini-series comes to a happily-ever-after ending, much like a lot of children’s adventures do. (Except for Sockarang’s Mom, may she rest in peace). More insane childish play from six-year-old writer, Malachai Nicolle. It makes me want to break out my old toys and have a few adventures of my own. The best part? President Zombie Bear Cop. I guarantee you will never come across anything like that in another book, not even in GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS. Well, probably.

JONAH HEX #67: Remember how, in my “review” of the movie, JONAH HEX, I said that having Hex wanted was a stupid idea and that it only ever came up to serve a short-time plot in the comic book series? Lo and behold, this month’s JONAH HEX has the scarred bounty hunter wanted (at a more respectable $1,000). This time, some pox-infested lunatic has cut up his own face and has started slaughtering women and children, pretending to be Hex so he can ruin the man’s reputation and hopefully get him shot in the process. Hex, of course, doesn’t take kindly to this plan and aims to do something about it . . . .

JENNIFER BLOOD #3: Garth Ennis’ Jen-Jen continues cutting a bloody swathe through the mobsters who did her wrong. We get a few more hints at what they might have done to her and her family, but still nothing concrete. This month’s gangster comes to a very, uh, gutsy end. [INSERT CRYPT KEEPER CACKLE HERE.] My favorite scene: when Jennifer’s neighbor corners her in the bathroom with his pants down, and she fantasizes about what she’d like to do to him. Then, her actual solution had me rolling on the floor, it’s that good. Why aren’t you reading this series? Am I not pimping it hard enough?

THE BOYS #54: Okay, I’ve been silent on this book for long enough. Wee Huey learns more about the secret history of the Boys from the main man himself, Mallory, over several glasses of whiskey. Holy shit, just flip through the pages of this book. There are so many words in here, it’s like Kevin Smith wrote this issue. It’s almost an actual prose story. But it looks like we’re finally going to learn a few interesting things about Butcher in the next issue. Stay tuned for more cool shit, folks.