THE DUI DIARY: Chapter Five

Hm. Maybe I was wrong. I have to say, today seemed a bit anti-climactic. Yes, it will be another to-be-continued installment, but let me explain what happened. Once again, I showed up at court (this time driven by my grandfather, since my license has been suspended), and once again, Steve told me that they were going to handle my case near the end of the morning. He told me to sit outside in the lobby and wait for him to call me. So, I settled down with Elmore Leonard again and prepared to wait. This sucked because I had spent the previous evening sweating my ass off in an airport in Atlanta, wondering if I was going to make it back home in time for my court date. I was scheduled to get out of there at 8:00 eastern, but the plane was delayed . . . until 11:30. Then, we heard that our plane wasn’t going to make it to Atlanta, so we all started wondering if we would actually be able to get to Chicago that night. When we got a different plane, there were technical difficulties and we were delayed once again. What it comes down to is, I spent hours upon hours just sitting around Atlanta, where all the bars were closed, and I was finished with my reading material. (By the way, I recommend K.W. Jeter’s DR. ADDER. It’s a fine mixture of Burroughs and Dick and should be read by anyone interested in SF.) So, here I was, waiting again, except this time it was at the DuPage County Judicial Center.



Needless to say, I was getting dangerously close to finishing the Leonard book, and it was only 10:00. From the last time I was here, I figured I’d be going last again, at about 12:00. I gritted my teeth. At least this would be the last time I needed to come here for a month, I thought.


Well . . . .


Steve had a busy morning, but the main lawyer in his firm, Don, finished with his caseload early. He decided to take over my case for Steve. They called me in, and I waited until the judge was ready for me.


The clerk said, “John Bruni,” and I rushed up to stand next to Don. During the course of the week, both he and the prosecutor had swapped legal cases to show precedent for my case. Here, they passed the histories over to the judge with the pertinent passages highlighted, and they both started discussing what has come before. Apparently, my case really has no precedent, just vaguely similar instances. Don argued that if the judge were to side with me, he would be reinforcing the idea that the “faint” odor of alcohol and the admission of one beer is not enough to merit a field sobriety test. However, if he sided with the state, then he would be opening up a whole new arena, in which it is one hundred percent illegal to drink and drive. In the words of my attorney, “You would be equating drinking as an indication of intoxication with eating as an indication of gluttony.”


I love my lawyer.


Anyway, the judge needed more time to look over the cases Don and the prosecutor came up with before making his own decision. I felt my butthole clench. You mean, I have to come back here next week?


Yeah, I do, but on the way out, Don said that he was sorry about the hassle. However, if things worked out in my favor, the rest of the DUI case (the criminal side; this part is just the civil side) would run very smoothly, and it would in all likelihood result in my freedom.


So I have to get a ride to work for the rest of the week. OK, I can deal with that, if it means that my chances of getting out of this are improving. But if the judge decides I’m a jabbering fool, and he decides to make an example of me, I’m afraid I might have messed it up for everyone. I’ll save that apology for another day, as it might not be necessary.


TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW!