First, Denis Leary did cops on THE JOB. Then, he did
firefighters on RESCUE ME. Now, he’s doing paramedics on the new USA show,
SIRENS. This is the story of three Chicago
paramedics: Johnny, Hank and Brian. Johnny and Hank are best friends and have
been at this for a long time, and Brian is the new guy.
Let’s face it, if your life was in danger, you’d probably be
reluctant to let these guys help you. Even though they are very good at their
job, their attitude would probably get them fired anywhere else. Johnny and
Hank are more dedicated to being sardonic and dropping one-liners than they are
in anything else. Brian’s a giddy, nervous guy who still lives with his parents
and loves to get naked and dance when he’s drunk. Let the hijinks ensue.
For USA ,
this is a shocking show. It’s vulgar, employing words like “cock,” “cum” and
“shit” (the latter of which USA
never uses, even though the FCC is cool with it). Its humor is very politically
incorrect. If you have touchy sensibilities, this show will offend the fuck out
of you, which means it’s one funny motherfucking series, even though it’s only
two episodes in so far.
In the first episode, they encounter a guy (played by
stand-up comedian, Bob Kelly) who has shoved a soda bottle up his ass for
sexual purposes and can’t get it out. (He would have used a carrot, but he was
planning on making soup for dinner.) They can’t pull it out, and he offers them
money to not bring him to the hospital, to handle the matter privately in his
home. He offers an extra thousand if the “twink” pulls the bottle out. (They
eventually jar it loose, and it comes in handy later in the episode in a very
sickening, hilarious way.)
In the second episode, a guy Johnny and Hank saved gives
them tickets to a Bears/Packers game . . . but they’ve committed to teaching
kids how to do CPR for that day and can’t get out of it. They decide to do
something really shady: teach an hours-long class in fifteen minutes so they
can make it before kickoff. Things go wrong, of course, and after they feed
these kids a pack of lies, one of them steals their ambulance. To get it back,
they go to Johnny’s ex, a CPD cop, for help.
As funny as this show is, these guys are an absolute wreck.
Johnny has commitment issues. Hank pulls these crazy, Machiavellian moves to
sabotage his relationships. Brian just has DOOMED stamped on his forehead. In
one scene, desperate for a cool nickname, he goes to Cash, the veteran in
charge of such things. What does Brian end up with? KEVIN. Why? Because he
looks like a Kevin. He’s not pleased with his lame nickname, but everyone else
seems to be.
That’s where this show really excels: ball-busting. They’re
just regular guys, working a shit job where the only joy they get out of life
is making fun of their friends and talking shit, just like your co-workers.
Hell, they even talk about movies and actors, which would ordinarily date a
show, making it a bit harder for future generations to watch, but the way they
do it is priceless.
It looks like this show will have more in common with THE
JOB than RESCUE ME as far as tone goes. The latter was filled with equal parts
comedy and tragedy while the former was just plain funny. (Although both shows
did have a bunch of great moments in ball-busting history.) No matter how
awkward and nasty a situation can be on SIRENS, it all ends with laughs. Sick,
vulgar, awesome laughs. Be sure to check it out. It’s on Thursdays at 9 pm
Central on USA.
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