Thursday, March 13, 2014

COOL SHIT 3-13-14

FBP #8: This issue contains what is possibly the strangest bar fight you will ever encounter in fiction. Apparently, the FBP is now located in Alaska as their funds dry up even more. The locals aren’t fans of the government agents, but they aren’t afraid to try to hustle them out of money by playing pool with Adam and Rosa, the latter of which has never played before. She learns fast, though, as she talks about the multiverse. Before long, they’ve gotten the better of the locals, but things turn violent. That’s when Rosa apparently bends space in order to throw a ball at their attackers, which has seemingly picked up the attributes of perpetual motion and terminal velocity. I’ve got to say, I never saw anything like that in PREACHER . . . And then there’s the reveal that Rosa grew up in an alternate universe. And what the fuck is Cicero up to? Just when you think things in this book can’t get weirder.

THE TRANSFORMERS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE #27: Well. That was . . . unexpected. Shockwave has finally revealed his endgame, and it’s a real motherfucker. He’s decided to end existence. Kind of. He intends to funnel the universe into himself, thus rendering it into one giant black hole. It’s hard to say why he wants this, but there you go. This just goes to show you that Shockwave is the nastiest villain in the TF world. Not even Megatron is that fucked up. In fact, he’s not all that bad. Remember, he started out as a revolutionary. It’s just that his hatred and his desire for power overcame his noble intentions and he turned into the monster he is now, which is why I think a small part of Optimus Prime admires him a bit. Speaking of Megatron, Ratchet has repaired him, and in an odd moment of introspection, Megatron finally understands his own tragic flaw (and I’m talking real tragic flaw, as described by Aristotle, not just as a common phrase that has almost lost its meaning).

THE WALKING DEAD #123: Remember last issue when Negan upped his game by smearing all of his army’s weapons with zombie gunk so they don’t have to actually strike killing blows? Well, the time has come to use them, and boy, does he ever. At this time, I feel it’s important to remind you all that spoilers are fair game here in Cool Shit, because this one’s a doozy. You see, this issue ends with a motherfucker of a cliffhanger: Dwight shoots a soiled arrow (sorry, I mean “bolt”) into Rick’s back. Which, in theory, means Rick is fucked. He’s going to go zombie on us, and it’s not like you can cut his fucking torso off to save him. Personally, I think Dwight’s arrow wasn’t soiled. We don’t technically see him put the zombie gunk on it (the zombie’s back covers up that scene), and remember, he’s supposed to be a spy for Rick. Kirkman constantly says that no one is safe in this book, and usually, he’s right. However, I think most of his fans would turn their backs on him if he really killed Rick off. I wouldn’t mind if Kirkman killed off all of the people we’ve been following for 123 issues and replace them with Negan and his Saviors, but he swears he’s not going to do that. Three more issues of “All Out War” to go . . .

RED TEAM #7: This is it, the final issue. Garth Ennis and Craig Cermak go out with a bang. A lot of bangs, actually. We now know who Eddie and Trudy have been telling their story to: the captain. Oddly enough, he seems to be taking it pretty well, considering what an absolute clusterfuck it would be if the press got their hands on this story. It’s interesting to see how Eddie and Trudy get out of the horrible mess at the cabin, but the absolute shocker of this issue is the captain’s conclusion. But that couldn’t be the end of it. Garth Ennis has a real bastard streak in him. That final page will break your heart. I’m going to miss this book.

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