FBP #8: This issue contains what is possibly the strangest
bar fight you will ever encounter in fiction. Apparently, the FBP is now
located in Alaska
as their funds dry up even more. The locals aren’t fans of the government
agents, but they aren’t afraid to try to hustle them out of money by playing
pool with Adam and Rosa, the latter of which has never played before. She
learns fast, though, as she talks about the multiverse. Before long, they’ve
gotten the better of the locals, but things turn violent. That’s when Rosa apparently bends space in order to throw a ball at
their attackers, which has seemingly picked up the attributes of perpetual
motion and terminal velocity. I’ve got to say, I never saw anything like that
in PREACHER . . . And then there’s the reveal that Rosa
grew up in an alternate universe. And what the fuck is Cicero up to? Just when you think things in
this book can’t get weirder.
THE TRANSFORMERS: MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE #27: Well. That
was . . . unexpected. Shockwave has finally revealed his endgame, and it’s a
real motherfucker. He’s decided to end existence. Kind of. He intends to funnel
the universe into himself, thus rendering it into one giant black hole. It’s
hard to say why he wants this, but there you go. This just goes to show you
that Shockwave is the nastiest villain in the TF world. Not even Megatron is
that fucked up. In fact, he’s not all that bad. Remember, he started out as a
revolutionary. It’s just that his hatred and his desire for power overcame his
noble intentions and he turned into the monster he is now, which is why I think
a small part of Optimus Prime admires him a bit. Speaking of Megatron, Ratchet
has repaired him, and in an odd moment of introspection, Megatron finally
understands his own tragic flaw (and I’m talking real tragic flaw, as described
by Aristotle, not just as a common phrase that has almost lost its meaning).
THE WALKING DEAD #123: Remember last issue when Negan upped
his game by smearing all of his army’s weapons with zombie gunk so they don’t
have to actually strike killing blows? Well, the time has come to use them, and
boy, does he ever. At this time, I feel it’s important to remind you all that
spoilers are fair game here in Cool Shit, because this one’s a doozy. You see,
this issue ends with a motherfucker of a cliffhanger: Dwight shoots a soiled
arrow (sorry, I mean “bolt”) into Rick’s back. Which, in theory, means Rick is
fucked. He’s going to go zombie on us, and it’s not like you can cut his
fucking torso off to save him. Personally, I think Dwight’s arrow wasn’t
soiled. We don’t technically see him put the zombie gunk on it (the zombie’s
back covers up that scene), and remember, he’s supposed to be a spy for Rick.
Kirkman constantly says that no one is safe in this book, and usually, he’s
right. However, I think most of his fans would turn their backs on him if he
really killed Rick off. I wouldn’t mind if Kirkman killed off all of the people
we’ve been following for 123 issues and replace them with Negan and his Saviors,
but he swears he’s not going to do that. Three more issues of “All Out War” to
go . . .
RED TEAM #7: This is it, the final issue. Garth Ennis and
Craig Cermak go out with a bang. A lot of bangs, actually. We now know who
Eddie and Trudy have been telling their story to: the captain. Oddly enough, he
seems to be taking it pretty well, considering what an absolute clusterfuck it
would be if the press got their hands on this story. It’s interesting to see
how Eddie and Trudy get out of the horrible mess at the cabin, but the absolute
shocker of this issue is the captain’s conclusion. But that couldn’t be the end
of it. Garth Ennis has a real bastard streak in him. That final page will break
your heart. I’m going to miss this book.
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