GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #180: HOW I SPENT MY 38TH BIRTHDAY

It's been a while since I cared about my birthday. I appreciate all the nice things people say to me (and the occasional gifts I get), but I don't think I've given much of a damn since I turned 21. I just got a new job recently, and I'm pretty sure I would have started today if not for my birthday. It was nice of them to start me on the 26th instead.


I woke up a bit early for someone who is still technically unemployed. I had my morning Tang (which I know no one else I know does, but I'm OK with that) while checking my various online presences. My favorite, of course, was checking in with Warren Ellis's Orbital Operations newsletter. It made me so happy that I spent some time on rereading more of COME IN ALONE. More on that in a future Goodnight, Fuckers.


Then I went out and did some useful things, like checking out the train schedule so I know when I have to be at the station tomorrow for my first week of orientation. My work schedule is 11:30 am to 8 pm, but for the first week I'm going in at 8:30 am. I also got a shit-ton of caffeine. I quit caffeine a while ago, but it has become very useful to me again in my unemployment. With my brain emitting tons of energy I went home and watched some RAISING HOPE before I went out to see the new Star Trek movie.


When I got home, still feeling like I was on another level of existence, I finished the final draft of a short story, during which time I only said twice, "Holy shit, what the fuck have I done?" I also handled the three stories I got rejects for as described on my episode of the Bizzong podcast. So yes, I did productive things today.


I even spent a day self-promoting myself which I try not to do often. Too many authors spend their time pimping their shit on social media. I just want to be human with people. I hate the sales aspect of everything, but it's something I can't ignore. I pimp something when it first comes out and then let it go into the ether. Until I come to a week of self-promotion, that is. Sorry.


I considered masturbating after that. I didn't because I didn't have the time. Instead I took a shower and got some food. Fast food, which is something I'm going to attempt to quit again. I watched more RAISING HOPE, and I'm glad for it. I'm a huge MY NAME IS EARL fan, and it was a MY NAME IS EARL themed episode. It made me very happy, especially seeing TV's Tim Stack. I love that guy back to the Dick Dietrick days.


During that time I finished off the last of the Booker's that I have. It is the most expensive bourbon I've ever bought, and it's fucking worth it. I'm a huge Wild Turkey 101 fan, but this might have finally changed my mind after nearly 15 years. I'm not likely to ever taste it again. Too bad.


Then it was time for MAKING OF THE MOB: CHICAGO. That's a good show. Shitty dialogue, but it's fun to see how Al Capone changed my city. Every once in a while I stop by his grave to say hello. Once I even hunted ghosts there, but again, that's a story for another day.


And now it's time to write this. I had a lot of fun today by not going out and celebrating. I talked to a lot of awesome people who wished nothing but the best for me. Relatives gave me money when I just ran out of my severance pay. I even got a hundred bucks to spend at Amazon, which is amazing. My brother got me a POP! figure of Data, my favorite Star Trek character ever, and a Reflection figure of Scotty, who I sometimes felt like at mt old job. And I got to do a lot of things I like doing, including finishing the last draft of a fucked up story that no one will probably want to read.


For the first time in more than a month I have work tomorrow. So I'm going to bed. Goodnight, you wonderful people who are not actually fuckers, but I like to say that because it has a nice ring to it. And I like busting balls. Seriously. Thank you for today. I hope all of your tomorrows are awesome as fuck.