So I went to see the movie, The Gentlemen, earlier today. It was great. Go fucking see it. Guy Ritchie returns to his roots. (OK, so I talked a little about it.)
Before showtime I had to take a shit. I went to the bathroom, chose the stall next to the urinals, and unloaded mostly gas, but also a bit of a turd. I heard something hit the floor beside me and then thunk against the toilet. What the fuck was that?
I looked down and saw a water bottle. One that had been opened but only sipped maybe once. The guy at the urinal cursed, and I wondered, what exactly is the etiquette for a situation like this? Should I give the bottle a nudge so it rolls back out? Should I hand it to him under the stall? Did he even want it back? It's a theater bathroom floor, after all. I asked myself what I would want in a situation like this, and I decided I wouldn't want it back.
I wiped and flushed and put my coat back on. I then exited the stall to see . . . no one. Whoever had dropped the bottle had decided to abandon it. Just as I would have. So now I have an answer to that extremely awkward question. Should something similar happen to you, don't do anything.
I should also note that I had to go to the bathroom after the show. The bottle was still there. No one wanted any part of it. Which seemed right. The world turned just as it should.
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