I don't think I've ever done a thing about the various other names I've written under, so I thought perhaps I'd go down the list here. Compared to other authors I don't have all that many pen names. I probably should have written everything under a pen name, considering how my writing cost me a good job once upon a time, but what the hell. Here's the list.
In high school I tried writing stories under the pen name [redacted]. Ho-ho, why is this redacted? Because I actually use the name in my upcoming sex book. I just finished the first draft last week, and I thought it would be funny to throw it in there. I can only think of two people reading this who might recall that pen name, so I want to see if anyone else can catch it. It's kind of easy, though. Good luck finding it!
I also wrote gay porn under the pen name Anthony Haversham. It's a variation on the name of a character I used to write in high school. It's too long a story to go into here, but I used to write these horrible tales about an insipid masturbator's adventures in masturbation. He eventually morphed into another character named Richard Thruster (heh) cowritten with one of my friends who is probably reading this now and is one of the two who will remember that other pen name. I wrote "Bobby Yandell, Private Investigator" under this name, as well as its sequel, "My Dick is Quick." I also wrote "Cocksmoke," my porn parody of Gunsmoke, under this name.
I wrote another story under that name, but the editor decided to change it for publication. I'm OK with that because this one was a hetero porn story. I don't even remember the actual title because it was published as a letter to Penthouse. I was writing fiction for Penthouse, but Penthouse Variations picked it up instead, and they wanted it to be in a letter format. Haversham turned into Walter K. of Dallas, TX. Unlike many letters to Penthouse, this was actually based on a true story of what happened to me. Remember when I said I used to be a distance man? A girlfriend once made me cum in my own eye, and that's what this story was about. Imagine my disappointment when I read the published version to see they'd wrung all the humor out of it and tried to class it up. Ah well.
I wrote one story under the name Jack F. Graves. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's a stupid pen name. I'm the edgiest edgelord who ever edged. I thought it was cool and even kind of funny. I published "Pimp of the Living Dead" under that one. I'm almost certain I included it in Tales of Questionable Taste, but I'm too lazy to look it up. It was originally in the first issue of Tabard Inn, which I'd put together with the help of friends. I didn't want it to seem too much like a friends-only fiction magazine, so I made up Jack Graves on the spot.
Lastly I wrote the book [REDACTED AS A MOTHERFUCKER] under the pen name [also redacted] because if I released it under my name, I'm pretty sure someone would have killed me by now. I didn't even use Amazon for it. I had to use another company, one that doesn't strike me as all that important, because I knew I'd probably never be able to publish another book through them again. Surprisingly this book has yet to be pulled from that site, possibly because very few people know about it.
I'm fairly certain that's it, but I've been drunk for a solid decade and change, so something might have slipped through the cracks. Only a handful of people know who wrote that last book, and I'd like to keep it that way. But in all honesty, looking back on it, that book has my style stamped all over it. I'd be shocked if someone who knew me well read it and didn't think I'd written it.
Good luck getting that title out of me, by the way.
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