Corporations never get tired of fees. They can fee the shit out of you left and right, up and down, every which way but loose except they do loose, too. Want to get your money from an ATM? Enjoy your withdrawal fee. Do you like using the gas pedal in your car? You can continue using it so long as you pay your monthly subscription. And let's not bother looking at airlines and the Cthulhu tentacled maw of fees hanging out of their asses. Most people just pay the fee and move on, but we shouldn't be encouraging that kind of behavior. All the fees are out of control for everything. And if you don't think that's important, let me set the stage for tonight's story.
You live in Libertyville, IL, and you're a pregnant mom with two kids and a passel of dogs. You've just returned from the pet shop, and you walk your 7-year-old and dogs into the house before you go back for your 2-year-old in the car seat. Except this is the moment when two carjackers chose to steal your car. The one that still has your li'l tyke in it.
Mom power takes over, and you rush to save your kid, but the carjackers attack you before running you over with your own car. You're still alive, probably running on sheer adrenaline, but there's nothing more you can do as your car vanishes in the distance.
Luckily your car has a GPS tracker, so you call the car company to get the location of your vehicle. You get your kid back. The carjackers go to prison. Everyone lives happily ever after.
Except the car company is Volkswagen, and your GPS free trial has expired. If you want to get your kid back (not sure how you feel about the car at this point), you will have to pay a $150 fee to activate the software.
That's what happened to a Libertyville family not too long ago. VW refused to help until they had that $150 payment. Even the cops were taken aback, and you know how I feel about those fucking guys. Check it out:
"This is an abducted 2-year-old, and the response was there is nothing they can do this is their policy," added Deputy Chief Chris Covelli with the Lake County Sheriff's Office.
Holy shit. Corporations do not care about you. They only care about money. Remember that every time you see a commercial where the corporation claims their workers are all family, and it's a fun and rewarding workplace. Here's a quote from the mother in this story:
"I didn't even think that that would be an issue that Volkswagen would refuse to tell us where our son was - especially when it's a kidnapping, and every second matters," said Shepherd. "It's life or death that we're going to get him home."
And here's the bitch of this story. VOLKSWAGEN DID NOT HELP UNTIL THEY PAID THAT FEE. Only then did they activate the software and find the car. By then it was a moot point. Someone had found the kid wandering by a highway in Waukegan. They also found the car, so this story has a somewhat happy ending. I say somewhat because they never did get the carjackers. And the family suffers from nightmares. They're all in therapy now. Understandably so.
After the fact, and without contacting the family in question, Volkswagen started offering the GPS feature for free for five years. Fucking assholes. Although I can only imagine what would happen if they were called upon to help solve another kidnapping after the five year time limit. I can only guess they'll want $150 to help. Or more. I'm sure by that point it will be two hundred. Hell, why not three? If regulators are too stretched thin to, uh, regulate, then what's to stop you from charging four hundred? Five?
I'll let the mom have the last word, and I hope it's something you'll think about the next time you're tempted to pay a fee just to ignore it.
"How could you not give that information when you know what could happen to that little child?" Shepherd said.
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