I remember when Gramps took me to kill my first homeless guy. He put me in the family Impala, and when we got close to the city, he told me to make sure my door was locked and my window was up all the way. You didn't want *them* to be able to grab you. *They* would do all sorts of sick shit to a white child.
Gramps selected a guy sitting on the steps of a rundown house (I later learned the term for it was a "crackhouse"). I asked him if maybe we should get a homeless lady instead. That's the way Reagan talked it up on TV, and Reagan spoke for God more than anyone else. We could have fun with a homeless lady. I hadn't hit puberty yet, but I knew what to do. I watched a lot of our home movies. Those were the days when 8 mm was king! Fuck this Camcorder shit!
Gramps said no. We still needed women for the pregnancy farm Reagan had in Intercourse, PA. So he had me hide in the back seat with the garrote while he cruised the guy. "Hey!" Gramps said. "Wanna earn ten bucks?"
The guy didn't seem to understand. So Gramps . . .
Ah hell. I thought Evil Goodnight Fuckers would be funny satire, but this is kinda gross. It's gross, right? Never mind. I feel gross. My heart's not in it. I'm just going to stop doing this.
I think I've made my point, anyway. The fact is, whether America knows it or not, this is what it voted for when it put Trump into office (again). Even if he doesn't live up to a single one of those promises, they still voted him in for those reasons. He is, and always will be, the Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief.
To get the numbering of the regular column back to where it needs to be, I'm going to do three more EGFs next week. I'm not going to sink this low in any of them, though. I had an idea for a while about deconstructing [REDACTED] to show what it really means. That will be super long and crazy, but at least I won't be talking about Gramps murdering a homeless dude. That was pretty fucked up. You get what I'm going for. No more need be said on the subject.
All right. I'll see you next week. Or on Sunday if you also read Good Morning, Fuckers! (There will be no evil version of that, in case you were wondering.)(SPOILER)
In the meantime, I'd say to enjoy this, but it's still pretty fucking horrible when you think beyond the instant reaction and realize the horrors some people are about to face. Yes, I hate to link to Yahoo, but I hate to link to Buzzfeed worse. The sacrifices one must make for Evil Goodnight Fuckers . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment