GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #385: DEMON KNIGHT

 

It's good to see so many of you posting about Demon Knight, the best of all four Tales from the Crypt movies.

(Four? Yes, four. The first from 1972. Then Demon Knight. Then Bordello of Blood. And lastly Ritual. No, I don't count the old Vault of Horror movie. And we probably shouldn't count Ritual. It's barely Crypt-worthy.)

Seeing all of you wonderful darlings showing love for this flick brings joy to my heart. But it also brings back my biggest quandary of this movie. What the fuck does that title mean? Is the Demon Knight Billy Zane's character? Meaning, a knight who is a demon? Or is it William Sadler's character? Meaning a knight who hunts demons? This has bothered me for decades. Does anyone have a theory?

Yes, I'm high. But when the question first occurred to me (on the way home from the theater), I was not on any drug, be it cannabis or alcohol. So maybe I'm just stupid. I don't know. Is this a valid question? The argument states that there are no stupid questions, but in my life I've determined that there are, indeed, stupid questions. Most of them come from Tucker Carlson these days. "Hey, I'm only asking questions!" Fuck you.

Okay, that turn came as a surprise. Did I say I was high? And when I'm high I find it difficult to string two thoughts together?

Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Time to end this.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #27: EBOLA MADNESS

I've noticed a lot of people posting fearful comments about the Ebola patients being flown to America, and I totally understand that. The most basic human need is survival. Everything else takes a back seat. And it's OK to talk about it. Of course it's OK.


But I also noticed a lot of people who expressed a great deal of anger about these patients. I want to talk about the ones who are bordering on homicidal, in addition to the ones who are heartlessly trying to keep these patients out of our country. They're the ones who bug me. I get fear, but I don't get it to the point of irrational hatred.


Because no matter how scared we are, these patients are a million times more scared.


That's the key to understanding these poor fuckers. Their days are numbered, and the number is not very big. OK, there's no cure for Ebola, and for a disease so pants-shittingly terrifying, that's even more scary. But if these people have a chance of surviving, well, it's here. Maybe we don't have a perfect healthcare record, but we have the best resources. If anyone can find a cure, it's us. If we turn them away, we're heartless scumfuckers.


Besides, who do you think is handling transportation? A bunch of fuckwits? Everyone knows the stakes, and none but the best professionals are in charge of this. An overwhelming majority of people in our country do not want Ebola getting introduced to our general population. Relax. We have professionals on the case. Ease back and let them do their job.


My first reaction when I heard the Ebola patients were coming here? Fear. Of course. It's 100% natural. I read THE HOT ZONE, after all. But we can't turn them away. They need our help.


And if we don't give it, we're not worth the flesh we're printed on.























PS: They're Americans who caught Ebola in a foreign land. Put yourselves in their shoes. Would you want to die in a strange land surrounded by strangers? Chances are, they're not going to make it. Their insides will be liquid shit by the time the sun rises. But at least give them the dignity to die at home.