GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #797: ROUTE 66

 

If you've ever had a conversation with me about David Morrell, you'll know that I just can't be silenced on how awesome an author he is. I literally don't know when to shut up. I've been a fan since I read First Blood in high school. As an author, I found his book, The Successful Novelist, to be indispensable.

In that book he talks about what got him into writing in the first place: an American show from the 'Sixties called Route 66, written by a guy with an odd name: Stirling Silliphant. The stories were so good that Morrell felt inspired to write his own stories.

When my disability began I needed to find something to watch that I was OK with passing out in the middle of because I was on a lot of heavy drugs. I wanted to find Combat! because it sounds like Band of Brothers decades beforehand, and I like that kind of storytelling. PLEX supposedly has Combat!, so I downloaded the app and found the show. Motherfucker, it won't play in my area. Goddammit.

But PLEX also had Route 66. Well. Why not find out if it's that good?

Not every episode is great, but many of them are fantastic. The first episode is the best, though.

The idea is, two young men drive around in an awesome car, seeing America. There's just something kind of iconic about that. The Winchesters in the Impala. Dr. Gonzo and his attorney in the shark. And even, in a much different way, Doc Brown and Marty McFly in the DeLorean.

Tod Stiles is a student at Yale when his dad dies. Tod can't afford tuition anymore, so he drops out. The one thing his dad leaves him is a pretty sweet Corvette. His buddy Buz Murdock is very different from him. He's an orphan who grew up in Hell's Kitchen. Give him a book, and he'd probably use it to bludgeon someone. Together they decide to get in the Corvette and see America. Put down roots if they find a place they like enough. It's episodic, but unlike a lot of shows back then, they do refer back to previous episodes. Also unlike other shows, this one was shot on location, not a set. So you can see their progress as they travel around the country. Although I'm 99% sure that Route 66 doesn't actually go down to Florida . . .

They usually get a job in each new locale to fund their journey to the next stop. Adventures ensue. Like in that first episode. In an attempt to find a shortcut to Biloxi (also not a place Route 66 goes to), the boys find themselves in a backwoods small town where everyone treats them like assholes. Of course the townsfolk are hiding a deadly secret that the boys must discover in order to get out of town alive. And Buz gets to kick the shit out of George Kennedy! He also gets to defenestrate someone else later on!

What I really like about the show is that it *is* shot on location, so you get to see the real America as it was back in 1960, not some set on a studio backlot. I also like seeing a lot of actors from the westerns back then in modern garb and driving cars. The only other show from back then I got that from was The Twilight Zone.

But these are snapshots of an America that no longer exists. The backwoods towns are fewer and fewer as corporate America's reach stretches further and further. The only place I've seen on the show so far that is actually the same is Bourbon Street. Probably smells the same, too.

It's all too horrifying thinking about all those places now sporting a Starbucks or worse, a Chick-fil-A. It's definitely not for the better. Sure, it was a more dangerous America, but great beauty often comes with danger.

It's a good show. I watch it when I eat lunch. It's free on PLEX, but it's with commercials, and they don't put the commercials where they belong. They use a stupid algorithm for that, I guess because no one wanted to actually watch the show. Because of that, sometimes the audio is off, so it gives you the feeling of watching something that was dubbed. But these are minor annoyances. Plus there are great guest stars! Like:

Leslie "Don't Call Me Shirley" Nielsen!

And an occasional movie star like:

Lee "Woody Biggs" Marvin!

So yeah, give it a shot. I'm almost halfway through the first season.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #365: THE ECONOMY IS TOO IMPORTANT TO WASTE ON PEOPLE

 

Heh. That's a helluva title. Grabs you by the short and curlies, doesn't it? Obviously I don't believe that, but a shocking number of people do. It's one of the big reasons this fucking plague has lasted as long as it has.

So I recently finished reading The Totem by David Morrell. It's a great book about a Detroit cop who moved out to Wyoming to get away from the horrors of the city and an alcoholic journalist who goes to the same place for a retrospective on a hippie commune that used to be there. Much to this duo's horror, that's when the werewolves show up.

The mayor of that Wyoming town pissed me off a great deal. When he hears about this situation, all he can think about is saving the town's economy. If word got out about the problem, then no one would buy any steers from the local ranchers ever again, and the town would dry up like the mining camp up the mountain decades ago. He does a lot of horrible shit to gloss over the problem in the name of the Holy Economy. This guy makes the mayor in Jaws seem reasonable.

I couldn't help but think of the parallel between this book and current times. Trump denied the plague existed at all, and then, when Americans started getting it, he blamed it all on China instead of his own fucking ineptitude at making sure it couldn't get to us. And then he claimed it wasn't as bad as people said it was. And a shit-ton of people agreed with him because to accept Covid as extraordinarily dangerous would kill the economy. People on the right argued until they were blue in the face that America should open up again to save the beloved economy. (Which is funny, because when Biden decided to grant their wish, the same people called him crazy for putting American lives in danger.)

But it's all crazy bullshit because Covid *is* dangerous. I know a few people who got it, and most seemed to make it out the other side OK after some pretty horrific trauma, but others did not. In the worst case, I know someone who will be breathing oxygen from a tank for the rest of his life because of this fucking plague. I recall all the dipshits who went to hospitals demanding to see Covid patients, which they figured they wouldn't find because the plague was a hoax, right? WRONG. I've been in the hospital a lot since the plague began, and when I had to stay the night (or more than a night), they had to wheel me through the Covid ward. I did not want this, but it was the only way to get through to where they wanted to keep me. That shit was scary. Covid patients kept behind giant plastic sheets like they were burn victims, hacking and wheezing and . . . it fucking sucked, all right? Let's leave it at that.

Is the economy important? Of course it is. But when you put people's lives at risk just for the sake of the economy? Go fuck yourself. You're like the mayor from The Totem. If he'd seen Tiger King, I'm sure he would have had the same thought as portrayed above. Try having an economy when there isn't anyone alive to enjoy it, cocksucker. Safety to humans first. After that, you can have your precious fucking economy.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #250: CREEPERS

I have always been fascinated by the past and old structures around me. Remember the time that I found a cabin in the woods filled with cages? And a gas tank full of water? Well, probably not. I did that when I was in college, and very few people follow me now from back then. But I did a popular local story at the time that earned me an honorary award from the Chicago Tribune at the time.


Never mind.


I recently read a book by David Morrell. I love Morrell's work because I love every book from him that I read. Sometimes I have my doubts, but he always wins me over. Each and every time. The book is called CREEPERS, and it lives in my heart like very few other books do.


There is a reporter with a mysterious past who hooks up with a group of urban explorers to infiltrate a fancy hotel that has been locked down for decades to see what still remains inside. And they may not be alone. It's a great thriller. One of Morrell's finest achievements. I love it so much. But it speaks to me specifically because I love history. I want to know more about the past of my area. If such a hotel existed around me, I would want to see the secrets it holds. And I would take only pictures, leave only footprints. I respect the way of the urban explorer.


I work in the Loop. There is a lot of infrastructure below my feet every day I go to work, and I would love to see it all. I want to see the maze of a walkway from building to building, even though the government mostly owns the walkway now, probably to protect important people as they move to and fro in Chicago. The same for the private owners of the space below the skyscrapers they own.


If you want to know more about what is under the Loop, you should read this. It's awesome, and it makes me want to explore the sealed off tunnels below the streets I walk on to get to work everyday. The infographic alone is worth clicking that link.


But forget that for a moment.


When I was a kid my dad and first stepmother had me for the weekend. We went to a water park that is ten minutes from were I live now. I hated it. I hate water slides and being submerged under water for whatever reasons.


Shortly after I was there the water park closed down. It's still there. No one ever tore it down. They just abandoned it. But it's still there.


For years I've kept this in the back of my head for a setting I want to write about. But after reading CREEPERS I want to visit this place. I want to see what it looks like now. I want to bask in the glory of the past.


I know how attentive Mr. Morrell is to his research. I feel with a great deal of certainty that he went urban exploring for research. He just can't say it for legal reasons, as urban exploring is technically a crime. This knowledge makes me want to become an urban explorer. The past turns me on. I want to see living examples.


I want to see what this water park looks like now. I can see the infrastructure that I remember as a child riddled with plants and trees and broken pools and more. A forgotten piece of history waiting to be discovered before some corporation tears it down to build something else.


Some of you may recognize my pattern. My theme. The past is never as far behind us as we imagine. There are still remnants barely holding on. All we have to do is find them and embrace them.


Reach back. Hold on. Love. Understand.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #13: I RESPECT SYLVESTER STALLONE

It's easy to talk shit about Sylvester Stallone because he's generally considered an action star. Sure enough, I'm not too big on action stars, but I side with Stallone more than others because . . . well . . . it's easy to forget one thing.


He's one of us. (This is assuming I'm speaking to mostly writers, because from what I can tell, those are the people who are reading these things, for the most part.) He's primarily a writer and secondly an actor. The dude's smart. I don't agree with a lot of what he says or does, but I get where he's coming from and why. Remember, he got his big break from WRITING a movie called ROCKY. He just happened to star in it, too.


I impulse-bought COBRA in a 7-Eleven tonight, as some of you might know. I don't do a lot of that kind of shopping, but tonight I couldn't help myself. Of all the classic Stallone movies, this was my favorite. Surprise! He wrote the screenplay. Just like he did for FIRST BLOOD (based on the awesome novel by David Morrell).


Check out his IMDB page, and you'll be surprised by how many of his movies he actually wrote (or adapted from a novel). The dude knows what he's doing. He might not write the greatest movies, but he writes a lot of fun shit.

COBRA is top of the line fun shit. I don't regret my purchase in the slightest. Which reminds me, I still haven't seen the 2nd and 3rd EXPENDABLES movies. I need to get on that, since he also wrote those.