GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #653: MOVIE NIGHT PART 2

 You may remember a while ago I started thinking about maybe setting aside one night a week to watch a movie instead of TV shows. I didn't always succeed at this, but I've been trying. So here's a look at the movies I've watched so far. They're all horror, and they're all on Shudder. And they're all good.

Lake Mungo was a bit of a surprise. It was not what I was expecting at all, and I like it when that happens. I figured a bunch of Australians made a monster movie. That's what the title suggests to me. But no, it has more to do with a mystery surrounding the disappearance of a young girl and the haunting (?) that comes after. It's got some nice twists and turns, and I wound up liking it a lot. It's like Paranormal Activity if that movie was actually good.

I enjoyed Christmas Bloody Christmas a lot more than I expected. I figured it would be a stupid holiday themed monster movie, and it is kinda that, but it's better. The dialogue is snappy as all hell, kind of like Kevin Smith by way of Quentin Tarantino. The characters are very interesting and likeable. And the robot Santa is pretty brutal. It loses traction near the end, but it's a hell of a ride.

Sorry About the Demon is exactly what I expected. It's a good horror comedy about a guy who gets dumped by his girlfriend and lucks into renting a house super cheap . . . except there is a demon living there. And a couple of ghosts. It gave me Dead Alive vibes. Not the gore. I mean, the protagonist. He's kind of a loser, but he's really funny and he's really in love with this woman and is trying to win her back. It's just a sweet love story with a twisted mentality. The guy kind of reminds me of a Will Forte character.

So yeah. I intend to keep returning to the well that is Shudder (that there is a well-dweller in there needs no special mention). These are entertaining flicks, and I recommend them.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #621: MOVIE NIGHT?

 It's a little weird, but I've fallen out of the habit of watching movies. Almost everything I watch is a TV show. And that's not just Supernatural's fault. This has been going on for years. It's almost gotten to the point where the only movies I watch are in theaters. Almost.

I'm thinking maybe I should get back to watching movies. Mostly horror movies because they've fallen by the wayside for me. I don't really watch them anymore, and that's a shame. I used to be the guy where if someone wanted to know something about a horror movie, they'd ask me. I'm not that guy anymore.

So I'm thinking of setting one day of the week aside for movies only. No TV watching. JUST movies. And I'm pretty sure I'll be using my Shudder account on that day. Maybe when Gunsmoke is over for another season, I'll start doing that on Sundays. It would be nice. Let's see how that goes.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #483: FALLING BACK IN LOVE WITH HORROR MOVIES

 Remember a while ago when I posted this? I was afraid I was falling out of love with horror movies. In all honesty, at the time I wrote that, I felt certain I'd fallen out of love. I just didn't want to fully admit that. But luckily I was wrong. I wanted to talk about a few horror movies I really got excited about recently. You should check them out. Two of the three are on Shudder, if you have that. If you don't, I think they have a permanent free trial you can use for, I don't know, a week, I think? The third I saw in theaters. Let's start with that one.

I'm an unabashed fan of Ti West, and his return to directing made me happy. As with most of his work, it feels like a throwback . . . because it is a throwback. X is about a group of people in the 'Seventies who want to make a porno movie together. They rent a bunkhouse on a Texan farmer's land, but they don't tell him why they're renting the place. Naturally, things go horribly awry in glorious ways. I got a huge kick out of it, especially when . . . find out for yourselves. Outlaw Vern brought this up, and I didn't notice it at the time, but it seems that everyone's death is foreshadowed in an excellent way. I know of at least two instances, but see if you can spot more.

If you were to ask me my favorite UK werewolf movie, I'd say Dog Soldiers without a second thought. Howl is a decently close second. A group of people on a train ride through the woods suddenly find themselves stuck in the middle of nowhere and besieged by a werewolf. And I'm not talking about your typical movie werewolf. If you're familiar with the White Wolf Werewolf: The Apocalypse RPG, you'll find this kind of werewolf a bit familiar. And hey! There is a Dog Soldiers connection! Let's see if you can find it.

I love me a southern gothic horror story, and Jug Face is top shelf. The less you know going into it, the better. There is something at the end of this movie I want to talk about so badly, but I'm going to keep my mouth shut. I honestly didn't see it coming, and I'm so glad I watched this one.

I'm glad to say that these three films have helped me relearn what I truly love about this genre of filmmaking. I hope this trend continues. I still can't find it in my heart to finish Fried Barry, though.

Look at that! I should be in love with this movie! What the fuck?

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #441: THINGS I'VE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH

 OK, so here's that tangent from the book sale GF on Monday that I cut. I was talking about falling out of love with Halloween, and it had me thinking about other stuff I'd fallen out of love with. Here's the thing: when you're young you have all these things you feel passionate about. If you're as old as me, we didn't have the phrase about dying on a hill, but you have lots of hills you would die on when you're just a kid. The older you get, the less you care about things. Looking back, I had a lot of hills I'd die on. Hell, even as recent as a few years ago, I would have died on the hills that Constantine, Jonah Hex and Drive Angry were shitty movies, and I can't see why people would like them. I relaxed on Constantine fairly early because not many people read Hellblazer as religiously as I did. Today I don't give a fuck about the other two. These are stupid hills to die on, anyway.

Here's a tangent within a tangent. Here's how I got over things that I felt had betrayed its source material. I think it was Chuck Palahniuk who mentioned it first, but I started viewing adaptations of stuff I liked as an alternate universe version of it. While the comic book, Preacher, is my favorite in history, I was iffy about the TV show, Preacher, at first. It deviated pretty quickly from the books, but that was OK. I prefer the books, but the TV show is a Preacher. Not the Preacher, but a Preacher, and that was fine. I got to enjoy the show on its own merits instead of comparing it to something else. Once I took that perspective on all things, I found I didn't feel all that betrayed anymore. I stopped giving a shit about it.

Back to the main subject. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. I was pretty obsessive about it. And I wanted to dedicate my costumes to as much realism as I could. The prime example of this is when I was in high school and decided to go as George Stark. Complete with a straight razor. A *real* straight razor. I had no intention of harming anyone, but I felt dedication to a costume was important at the time. Thinking back, I realize how utterly insane that was and how much trouble I could have gotten into. But that's how big I was into Halloween. I also had a yearly ritual of watching the Night on Bald Mountain segment of Fantasia at the end of the night. I didn't do it this year. Or last year. I think I skipped it the year before, too.

I don't know what it is. I just stopped caring. And I still have no idea how Christmas unseated Halloween's rule over me. But that happened.

I also fell out of love with gaming. (The RPG ones with dice and character sheets, not video games.) I mostly played White Wolf games, but I loved Call of Cthulhu and a few others. For a brief time I thought The Expanse roleplaying game might bring me back into the fold, but it didn't. I used to game every Sunday night with friends, and I haven't done it in ages. I just don't care to do it anymore. Still unclear as to how that happened. But that happened.

I *do* know how I fell out of love with comics conventions. When I first started going to them, they were still about comic books. Now they're multimedia events with the comics shoved off into some corner. The moment I saw well known writers and artists in Artists Alley instead of at their publishers' booths (remember when publishers had booths?), I knew that I was no longer interested. It lost its appeal. Sometimes I think about going to a show just to hang out with my comics friends, but hell. It would probably be better to see them at an off-site after party. It would definitely be cheaper.

Along the way I also fell out of love with horror cons, and I know how that happened, too: I ran out of money. Then the plague happened, and that just cemented me not being able to go. But it also made me start missing horror cons. I think I might be falling back in love with them. I want to go back to horror cons in 2022 if we can just get this fucking plague to go away.

Speaking of horror, and I'm shocked to be saying this, but I feel my love of horror movies slipping away. Not reading horror books. That love is still strong and passionate as ever. And certainly not writing horror. That still brings me a lot of joy. But horror movies? I don't know. I watch a few of the newer flicks, and some of them are OK, but most of them just lose me. For example, I started watching Fried Barry, which should have been right up my alley. Something just wasn't connecting for me, though. I haven't finished it. And my thoughts on Prisoners of the Ghostland will have to wait for another day, because I have a few things . . . to not go off on a tangent on. On? Have I said on enough? Did I need another one?

I'll talk about that in another GF. Right now, I'm just going to sit here and hope that I'm not really falling out of love with horror movies. That would suck.

EVERYONE'S GOT ONE #34: PEOPLE WHO LIKE HORROR MOVIES ARE LIKE WHAT?!

Read this article first. I'll be talking about it at great lengths, so if you don't read it, none of this will make sense.


Done? Good. This article has been making the rounds with my friends, and they're pretty indignant about it. Rightfully so, especially since many of them are writers who have worked in the horror genre. I, also, greatly disagree with the person who wrote this piece. It is essentially a smear campaign against people who enjoy horror movies by someone who thinks she is taking the moral high ground.


But I don't take it too seriously, even though it was meant as an insult. First of all, check out the title. "What It Says About You If You Enjoy Horror Movies." That's the problem right there. It is such a gross generalization that I simply can't take it seriously. It's kind of like saying, "All black people do such and such." Or "all gay people act like this or that." Or "all red-haired people enjoy so and so." Is it true for some people? Sure, but it's impossible to say it's true for everyone in that category. Right off the bat, before I've read a single word of the actual article, I know this person is wrong.


I read it anyway out of curiosity, and sure enough, it was horseshit. A lot of people make fun of the writer because she uses THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST and AVATAR as examples of horror. I haven't seen AVATAR, so I can't comment on that, but I *have* seen THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, and I'll say that's a horror movie. Satan himself puts in a personal appearance, not to mention the demon children. There's a great deal of supernatural dealings in this movie, to say nothing of the gory nature of Jesus' punishment. If the Drudgeon hadn't beaten me to it, I would have reviewed the movie for Forced Viewing. (Although to be fair, I reviewed Clint Eastwood's UNFORGIVEN as a horror movie for them, so my opinion might be askewed.)


To be a good sport, I decided to see how well I could score on this list of things I supposedly am because I enjoy horror movies.


1. Do I lack empathy? I'd say I have a healthy dose of empathy in me. Being a writer means fantasizing about being other people in order to write as honestly as possible about them from their perspective. In order to do that, I have to have an understanding of humanity, and I can't have that without empathy. Although to be fair, every single human being who has ever lived started out their lives without an ounce of empathy. When you're a baby all the way through, I'd say, age 10, empathy doesn't even pop up on the radar. Children are all consumed with the idea of me-me-me. I don't think people understand that others have feelings until they have enough experience in the world. So gauging empathy might not be the best route to take on this one.


Not that it matters. Her argument doesn't even make sense here. All she says is that people in this study who rate high on empathy charts experience negative moments after watching a horror movie. So what she's really saying is that horror movies cause people with empathy (ie. almost everyone on the planet) to have negative feelings. That's part of horror's charm. You can't walk away from exploring the darker side of humanity with a grin on your face. Ultimately, though, this says nothing about people who enjoy horror movies. And anyway, it seems like she's talking about one of the other points she's going to try to make later when she talks about horror movie dates.


2. Am I aggressive and thrill-seeking? No on both counts. I don't think anyone who knows me can classify me in either category. For all my rage, I'm a pussycat in person. I've had people tell me that for all of my crazy talk, they feel 100% safe in my presence. I don't get into fights. I've only ever struck one person in anger in my entire life, and that was for very good reason (since he'd just punched a girl in front of me). (Actually, I punched a second person, but I was really drunk at the time. I don't remember doing it. He had to tell me about it later, and in retrospect, he thought it was kind of funny.) But that's twice in thirty-six years. Not bad for someone who was a victim of child abuse, one of the leading causes of aggression in life. I have no desire to seek thrills. I don't go on roller coasters. I don't sky dive. I don't bungee jump. I *do* go out of my way for fucked up experiences, but not out of any desire for an adrenaline rush; I do it so I can tell fucked up stories later.


But she uses a couple of studies to try to prove her point. One of them asked a bunch of kids if a cartoon was funny, thrilling or violent. This is a completely useless exercise. Kids, who have zero aptitude for empathy to start with, would identify such cartoons as all three, mostly because that's the way they were intended. It's a meaningless test. She also confuses thrill-seeking with acting on impulse. Those are two different things. Plus, not all kids are horror movie fans. So bringing this study up is irrelevant.


The other study mentions that horror movie aficionados are more likely to enjoy three things: watching autopsies, watching gladiator fights (if given a time machine) and watching the results of car accidents. First of all, these three things have nothing to do with aggressive behavior or thrill-seeking. However, who isn't curious about autopsies? We all end up on a cold metal table in the end. Wouldn't you want to know what they do to your body before your final wishes are fulfilled? (I actually have watched autopsies, and they're no big deal. It's not a hobby of mine, now that my curiosity has been satisfied.) Would I watch gladiator fights in ancient Rome if I had a time machine and could go back to that period? No. I don't even watch boxing matches. Zero interest. This is the closest one that comes to an aggressive act, but if it really was aggressive, these people would not be talking about watching the fights--they would actually be fighting in them. And no, I have zero interest in slowing down for car accidents. Life is too short, and I'm always in a hurry. I get pissed off when I have to deal with gaper delays.


3. Am I a man? Well . . . I have the equipment. But I'm not one of those macho assholes who always tell their friends to "man up" whenever they're reluctant to do something masculine. Sure, I like Westerns, but would I actually want to live in one? Nope. I like air conditioning. I dislike hard physical labor. I'd rather not walk around with a gun on my hip, and I certainly don't want to get shot. I am about as far from the manly stereotype as you can get, and I'm OK with that. That said, I never sleep with the lights on. I never look away from a horror movie. While I often feel unsettled by a horror movie (which, by the way, is a good sign that I'm feeling empathy), I don't feel fear or anxiety after the movie is over. So I guess I live up to the statistics. However, does this make me a manly man? No. Maybe I need to start fist-pumping to prove my manhood. Is that still a thing?


4. Am I a man accompanied by a frightened woman? Holy Christ, I hope not. This is the most insulting of them all, because it implies that I would expose a woman to a horror movie so I can scare her enough that she'd want to be comforted by me, which would, by implication, lead to me having sex with her. This is an accusation of rapey proportions.


I have never brought a woman out on a date to see a horror movie, which is kind of odd, considering how it is my favorite genre. I had to cast my mind back pretty far, just to make sure, but to the best of my recollection, I've never done this. They've usually been SF movies or superhero movies. There were a few comedies. If I ever reach the point where I bring a woman to a horror movie out of hopes of scaring her into my arms and possibly into my bed? That's the day I buy a van with FREE CANDY written on the side and start to carry ether and a rag with me everywhere I go.


But really? This last part? It's not about enjoying a movie. It's about enjoying the prospect of having sex with the woman in question. This draws no conclusions about horror fans. However, I would like to hear the opinion of women who were objectified in this particular portion.


So yeah. If this was a test, I'd fail it, and I highly suspect a lot of my friends would fail it, too. Most annoyingly, though, the article abruptly ends without pulling everything together. There is no conclusion. If I were a teacher grading this paper, I'd give it a D. Apparently, no one taught her structure.


Your thoughts? Please post them in the comments below.