We started talking about time travel stories and historical SF. He'd just read some good stuff, and he was thinking about the age old question: if you could go back in history and kill baby Hitler, would you? He didn't want to do that. Blessed with coming of age in a more tolerant time he said he wanted to go back in time and help Hitler be a better person so he wouldn't do all of those horrible things. "I want him to experience beauty," he said. "Maybe he didn't have enough art in his life. Maybe he should have been a creator instead of a destroyer. I'd try to teach him an art, like painting or something."
My blood froze with that last statement. In that moment I realized that this kid was going to be a genius. One day he was going to invent a time machine, and he was going to go back in time to teach young Hitler how to paint. Which will lead to him being refused admittance to an art school. Which will lead to genocide and a wildly violent attempt at world domination.
There is no changing time. If you travel back in your future, it has already been done.
I just realized that I had to kill this child so he couldn't go back in time to try and save Hitler.
Wish me luck.
Just kidding. Children are not smart. They're stupid and disgusting. If you knew me you would have known this was a joke. Do you realize how many messes I've had to clean up because of children? I'm pretty sure that they're all Donald Trumps waiting to happen. Good luck in training that out of them.
All right, kids aren't that bad. I'm just glad I don't have any I have to take care of. I thought it was a good joke, that's all. I apologize to the children of the world for assuming they're all assholes. They're not. Well, most of them aren't. Some are good. Probably. #VoteBruniDanger2016
