Tuesday, June 11, 2024

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #857: THE NINTH AMENDMENT

 Everyone knows the first two amendments to the US Constitution, but after that things get a little dicey. History students might remember the third because it's so laughable to imagine needing it today. Hunter S. Thompson fans will have the fourth emblazoned on the backs of their eyelids. Anyone who watches detective shows will know the fifth. But beyond that? I don't know if the average American even knows what the rest of the Bill of Rights is.


If you're from outside the US, the Bill of Rights is the first ten amendments to the US Constitution. It is considered the most important part to US citizens because it's a list of their inalienable rights. Which makes me wonder why more people don't pay attention to that kind of thing. You'd think your rights would be the most important thing to you outside of life and family.


Do you know what the Ninth Amendment states? Here's a direct quote:


The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.


The Founding Fathers gave a shit about their citizens' rights. Well, if you were a white man who owned land, that is. But the letter of the amendment states that anyone who tries to "deny or disparage" any right not explicitly stated in the Constitution is a piece of shit. OK, maybe I went a little far, but you get the idea.


So why aren't we fighting, for example, drag shows being shut down by bigots with this? The Ninth Amendment is pretty clear that it's goddam unAmerican to deny and disparage drag queens of their right to be drag queens. Why are we letting states deny and disparage women who need abortions when we can tell the states to go fuck themselves, read the Ninth Amendment. End of fucking discussion.


The only strong objection I can think of is, "No, I don't wanna. Fuck anyone who isn't like me." The only other one I can think of is, "The Founding Fathers didn't mean that." Then why did they put it in the fucking Constitution? "Well, they were talking about other stuff." Oh? Were they talking about the same stuff you're talking about? Then again, Donald Trump once said that patriotic Americans seized all the airports during the American Revolution, and none of his followers even batted an eye. I guess we're not talking about ignorant people. We're talking about the worst kind of people on the planet: *willfully* ignorant people. Steve Bannon once said something to the effect that you should pump relentless bullshit into society in an effort to keep the people willfully ignorant. It seems to have worked pretty well.


So can we start fighting bullshit with something that's actually useful? Something like the Ninth Amendment? Or are we going to have dickheads who say that Joe Biden changed the Bill of Rights when no one was looking? I hope for the former, but I know all too well that the latter is not just an opinion but a way of life.

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