Friday, November 1, 2024

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #940: I MEAN, REALLY?!?!?!?!?!

 I still can't wrap my head around it. Orson Welles was offered the role in Caligula? As in, Gore Vidal's Caligula? As in, in all reality, Bob Guccione's Caligula? That guy?


I can't be the only one struggling with this. I know Vidal was surprised. He described himself as "astonished" when he learned this. He rarely uses that word, so I know it made an impression.


All right. Let's go over it again. See if we can grasp this thing.


This guy:




*This* guy:





THIS GUY:





THIS FUCKIN' GUY:




*He* was supposed to play Caligula?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! He was supposed to be this guy:




The guy they went with in the movie? This guy:




See? *That* makes sense. They made the wise choice with Malcolm McDowell. But who on earth thought Orson Welles would be great at, say, fisting a Roman soldier? Could you imagine Welles doing the Little Boots dance? And what would Welles have looked like in those excessive love scenes between Caligula and his sister?


Welles, a puritan apparently, turned it down on moral grounds. That was a good decision. There's no way I would have been able to watch him in this role. I mean, I *could*, but instead of enjoying it as a nearly Shakespearean drama, I'd be guffawing with laughter at the absurdity of it.


Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?

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