Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Take a look at that cover, and understand the one important thing about this book:  it is exactly what it looks like, and nothing more.

Meet Alex, Laura, Ilena, Cara, and Eve (ALICE, get it?!).  They are five extremely beautiful hitwomen, and someone has just taken out a contract on all of them.  One million dollars a head.  They decide to strike back in an attempt to save their own lives.

It’s all right for what it is.  The problem is, that’s it.  If you like watching beautiful women killing people in fairly gory ways, then you should give this book a try.  If you’re looking for something with a bit more meat . . . well, you might want to cast your line elsewhere.

There is one thing writer Jeff Kaufman does well, and that’s describe Alex’s relationship with her father.  She was raised to be a hitwoman by a hitman father and a KGB spy mother.  Very ALIAS of them, but the way Alex interacts with her father is pretty interesting, especially when he tries to teach her life lessons by letting her deal with being hunted on her own.  Well, kind of.

But the rest of his time, Kaufman is too busy squandering precious pages on bad dialogue, and it’s really, really bad.  At one point, one of the killer women complains about getting her nails damaged in a battle, because she’d just had them done.  Really.  That’s to say nothing of the rest of the crap that gets spouted throughout this story.

Another problem is that so much of the beginning is padded out, it kills the pacing.  Even though we’re introduced to the conflict early on, it takes maybe 30 pages to get the action to progress.  Not good.  Even worse, Kaufman repeats himself when it comes to introducing these characters.  Each woman has her quirk, and he relentlessly strikes upon it over and over again in a sloppy attempt at characterization.

This is to say nothing about the incredibly bad twist in the end.  At first, it seems unexpected, and one might mistake it for clever, but the more one thinks about it, the more one realizes that it’s completely unnecessary, and it doesn’t make much sense.

This is a definite style-over-content kind of book.  At least artist Marco Turini gives you exactly what you would expect from such a book.  Well, except tits, because these guys think they’re too high class to go all the way.

All in all, it’s not a bad book, but it’s not good either.  Unless this is your thing, you should pass.

Written by Jeff Kaufman
Illustrated by Marco Turini
Published by Zenescope
Too many pages to count (why can’t we just number pages anymore?)

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