[I still hadn’t learned my lesson. Here I go, back to the
books I enjoy, and fuck everything else. I’m shocked that no one called me on
it. I’m not talking about readers. Very few readers read my comic book reviews.
I’m talking about editors who had no choice but to read them. From the Elmhurst
College Leader, Oct. 25, 1999.]
Just in time for Halloween, Evil Ernie has returned with War
of the Dead, which is a part of the Armageddon lineup for Chaos! Comics. This
is quite refreshing, considering the other components of this immense crossover
event. Lady Death and Purgatori series are quite dull compared to the
megadeth—the eradication of all the living—that Ernie brings in his wake.
As with the past issues, the artwork is okay and nothing
more than that. David Brewer, the artist, needs to stop imitating Spawn and try
being himself. The gory scenes are excellent, but that can’t be everything, can
it? Ever since Steven Hughes left the comic, Ernie hasn’t been looking too
good. There are some good moments, but mostly, it’s just downright bad.
As usual, the shining gem is Brian Pulido’s excellent
writing. The comic starts out with one of the most questionable characters in
comic book history committing very questionable acts. As seen at the end of the
monthly series, Sarah, the scientist who was working on the virus that would
eliminate the Dead Onez, was blown up in a helicopter explosion after she
perfected the virus. Now Leonard Price, who is supposed to be the good guy
(despite his propensity to ruthlessly kill innocents that get in his way of
maintaining peace), has Sarah on an operating table. At least, he has part of
her. He succeeded at reanimating her, but she is in mind-shattering pain. Not
surprising, considering her lack of limbs and a face. Covered in blood, Price,
glaring down at her with his relentless gaze, tells her that he will let her
die when he gets the formula for the virus. It’s times like this when you
really have to wonder, who is more evil? Ernie, the supernatural monster who
strives to kill everyone living? Or Leonard Price, the man who will stop at
nothing, no matter how evil, to destroy Ernie?
Now Price has teamed up with the Dead King to stop Ernie.
The Dead King also has Smiley, Ernie’s former best friend. They split up
because Smiley thought Ernie had abandoned megadeth to save Ernest Fairchild,
Ernie’s good half.
They will have to use everything they’ve got because Ernie’s
certainly got the upper hand. Little did the living know when the dead crashed
through the Mississippi Wall (the wall erected to keep the dead away from the
living) that Ernie was ambushing them, distracting them for his true purpose.
Now Ernie’s gotten into NORAD. The last panel of the comic shows Ernie holding
his hands up in victory, grinning, standing in front of a screen that reads,
“NUCLEAR LAUNCH CONTROL.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time since
Destroyer, Evil Ernie has gotten control of the NUKES! Last time, Chastity, the
vampire who used to love Ernie, pushed the abort button. Now there’s no one in
his path.
The dead are finally killing all the living. Price has gone
so far off the deep end that he could seriously be called a villain. Smiley and
Ernie have separated. Ernie’s got the nukes, and he’s not afraid to push the
button. This is Night of the Living Dead, Zombie, and The Dead Pit multiplied
by ten thousand. Some supernatural creatures might survive it all, but humanity
looks screwed. For the first time in Chaos! history, it really looks like it’s
going to come to an end. Hurry up and read War of the Dead before it’s too
late.
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