First point, yes, this is a weird time for me to be posting this, but after I do so, I am going to go to sleep, as I have not done so in a very, very long time. Bringing me to my second point. I am doing this from the hospital. Once again, my insides have risen up against me, but like the Pentahook, I'm a bastard who can't be killed.
Why am I doing this instead of sitting back and enjoying the morphine while my death wracked body begs for mercy? I found out something so horribly disgusting today about maybe the toneless and most greediest thing I have ever heard about.
So I'm in the ER, just about learning that I was to be admitted, when the nurse and the tech started talking about a possible raise they were going to get. I'm a personable guy in these situations because I know how difficult and sometimes horrifying their jobs can be. One of them said she thought they'd get a flat 3% raise. The tech said it had better be 5. I wished them good luck, as they were about to leave to handle a patient who wanted his fluids orally because he was scared of needles.
"I hope we're lucky," the nurse said. "They just took away our 401k plans."
Wait, now what? Who? And who suffers? Well, they were recently bought by a corporate entity, and while I believe the idea came from these new administrators, I highly think that they would never apply such a grim plan to themselves. Doctors? Lucrative, I'm sure, but somehow I feel that the doctors had the pull to keep them out of it. Nurses? Techs? You know, the guys who do the real work? When was the last time you saw a doctor put in an IV or one do a CT Scan themselves? No, they just make the big money from looking at the results and from sometimes making you say "Ahhhhhhhh."
Just so we're clear, the front-line responders at a hospital, the one who get most of the hands on experience, are doing so during the most deadly plague we've experienced in a while and having the most risk of getting it are now doing this with the sudden absence of their 401k plans?! What fucking CEO-in-Robocop prick came up with this solution? Did he laugh to hookers in chains while wiping at the cocaine ring around his nostrils? What kind of evil shit is this?
This hospital, I should mention, has proudly bragged about how awesome they score on national tests. It's a very effective place. I use it a lot, and it's only let me down twice. I've been here once a month at least every month of this year. In May, I went here a staggering four times in five days. I almost had you beat, October! Damn it! Damn you!
So every time you see all those children's signs on the outside, keep in mind that while those are pretty good, they would much rather have their 401k plans. (Hey, I did this all on morphine. I think I did a fair job.)
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