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| Ah jeez |
I'm about to say something that might lose some of you, but I've held my silence long enough. I have no choice but to speak up now. There's no delicate way to say this, so I'm just going to plow ahead and hope for the best.
STOP PUTTING NICOLAS CAGE IN HORROR MOVIES.
I'm sorry, all, but this has gone on for too long. And I say this as a fan of Nic Cage. Ever read my poetry chapbook, Shit Poems? Give me Raising Arizona, Con Air, The Rock, Adaptation, Matchstick Men and a shit ton of other movies all day long, but this trend of him being in horror movies has just got to stop.
I say this as one who has seen some of these godawful flicks. Prisoners of the Ghostland was probably the best of them, and even that was pretty bad. I couldn't stand Mandy. How could a Nic Cage chainsaw fight come off as boring? It did, though.
Here's the thing about the Cage horror movies: everything is crazy in them. Part of the reason I enjoy Nic Cage's other films is because he's batshit crazy while the rest of the movie is normal. Case in point, Bad Lieutenant 2: Port of Call New Orleans. The scene where he steals what he thinks is coke off a couple of people and snorts it only to discover it's actually heroin? That's quality shit right there. It's what Outlaw Vern calls "mega-acting," and I love it. But when everything is just as crazy as he is? It bores the shit out of me.
I read somewhere online that Nic Cage finally paid off the IRS. I hope that's true. There's only one reason he was doing these flicks, after all. If he's paid up I hope he goes back to doing crazy shit in regular films. That's his strength.
This is what I want to see more of:
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| "Have you ever been dragged to the sidewalk and beaten till you PISSED... BLOOD!" |
Please and thank you.
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| So Nic Cage is going to play Dracula, and he's not going to look like this?! |
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