Relax, this isn't about that scene from Antichrist. You know the one. No, this is something that's been irritating me of late. I'm sure my fellow diabetics have experienced this, but ever since I quit drinking my blood tests have gotten, er, bloody.
It used to be I'd jab myself with the needle and have to squeeze my finger to get blood out. Now it comes too easily. I jab and gently squeeze, and the next thing I know I've got a blood cumshot all over my face, neck and chest. And then the fucker won't stop bleeding. I have to put pressure on it for a good five minutes, and sometimes that isn't enough either. What the fuck?
And then there's the Easy Cheese thing. You know when you're nearing the end of the can and how it can suddenly explode on you? Again: face, neck and chest. I've had blood and cheese all over my glasses of late.
Yeah, that's right. A cheese cumshot.
Ye fucking spheres! What the fuck am I babbling about? Ah, it's been a rough day, and I haven't been sleeping well. Fuck this. I'm off to bed. Goodnight, fuckers.
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