Dear Elon Musk,
Hi. You probably don't know me, but look around my blog, and you'll notice I'm far from your #1 fan. In fact, I think you ought to be drowned in liquid shit like the abortion you should have been, but I'm going to set that aside for the moment.
To quote a great politician, "Let's get one thing perfectly clear." Trump did not invent the Dept. of Government Efficiency. He wants to be an emperor, and he wants America's borders to not exist at all, that the world will be America. That's a pretty egotistical thing, but he seems to have a handle on it. Yet I get the feeling that if you two were in high school, he'd be giving you atomic wedgies and seeing how long he can keep your head in the toilet. He thinks he'll top out at 10 flushes, but Bannon thinks less of you. I'll bet he has you at six, and he has that look in his eye. That is essentially the attitude of the MAGAs, so none of them are socially inept enough to come up with the name of that agency. If Ramaswamy was an OK dude, I'd feel bad for him getting roped into that. But he's not.
[Incidentally, you make Bannon look good. That should be impossible, as he is also a shitnugget clinging to the bottom of one's flipflop, but here we are. Also, spellcheck has no problem with "shitnugget."]
Anyway, this agency is all you. I can't help noticing the CFPB is on your hitlist. As is the FTC, I'm sure. A ton of agencies are on that list, and many of them have a bone to pick with you. You're the richest man in the world, so why not just get yourself appointed to a bullshit agency so you can shut down those who would regulate you? I assure you no one is stupid enough not to notice that. Trade politically for it? Sure. That's the law of the land. But they didn't *not* notice it.
But I did notice you mention something, a throwaway comment, that made me think there might be hope for you. It's slim-to-none, but, well, you know the Michael Scott saying about the shots you don't take.
You mentioned that we were in the financial situation we're in because we went off the gold and silver standard. I've been saying that here for quite some time, but it's the first time I've ever heard someone of consequence, no matter how ill-gotten, say it.
Our money used to be backed by the silver and gold in Ft. Knox. In 1933, the real emperor of America, Franklin D. Roosevelt, took us off that standard. I understand why he did it. He wanted an economic boom, and he certainly got one. Why not spend all your money if it is, indeed, not backed by anything stronger than imagination?
But that kind of behavior catches up to you. As in, it's catching up to us now. My point is, we're suffering dick-breaking amounts of inflation, and you want to cut a bunch of regulators in the name of "efficiency." Your plan WILL NOT WORK. No matter what it is. Yes, corporate greed has driven up the prices of everything beyond an ordinary citizen's ability to cope, but even if you ended corporate greed (yeah, I know, not your thing), we would still be stuck up Shit Creek, and the paddle is unfortunately in your hands, way way far away from anything even resembling a shit or a creek.
Here's some basic economics: the more scarce something is, the more it is worth. If we have, in theory, an infinity of dollar bills, then it stands to reason that those bills would be next to worthless, especially if you add the idea of credit on top of that.
If you want to bring up the value of a dollar, you must do at least two things: burn every greenback you can get your hands on, and end the credit card industry. Short of that, it is time to make our money supply finite, not pretend like it is now. Supply and demand. Or, and this is a perverse idea so obviously I'm into it, you can make money with expiration dates. They renew each time you spend them, so the new owner of that bill won't be put out any. Do you mean to tell me you intend to put chips in people's heads, and you can't put a digital readout on dollar bills? All right, fine. You can check online when your money expires, but I gotta be honest, if that's the case, the internet should be free for everyone. I think by now that's a human right, anyway.
All right. I've had my say.
Sincerely (and I do mean that),
John Bruni
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