GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #120: FACEBOOK IS A STRANGE PLACE

When I was younger, I didn't like the idea of social media. It seemed to stand testament against everything I believed in. It took a lot of my friends to drag me into MySpace, and I actually enjoyed it in its dying days before making the leap to Facebook and Twitter.


I have mixed feelings about Twitter. If you're interested in finding news, it's the fastest place you can do so, even quicker than news sites. However, there is an incredible amount of assholes on Twitter. (If you don't believe me, check this out as an example.) To be fair, Twitter is the easiest and quickest form of expressing your 1st Amendment rights, but it's also the easiest and quickest way you can express yourself for being an asshole.


I'm not here to discuss that. I just want to make a casual observation about Facebook.


There are few things I like about Facebook. I appreciate the fact that a lot of people are there, and that, in addition to being a great place to connect with family and friends, it's also a great marketing tool. However . . . there is a weird moment that I'm sure every user of Facebook experiences. It's hard for me to think about it, but it makes complete sense.


You see something a friend said, and you like their post. And then, out of the blue, someone who you're not technically friends with likes the same post, but you see that they're friends of someone you used to know who are friends with that one person.


Facebook is a chain of acquaintances and friends. You never know who someone else knows who might enjoy something you said even though they marginally know you in real life but know your friend who is on Facebook, etc.


It's so weird realizing that someone you know is friends with someone you vaguely know and they both comment on the same thread you put out, because Facebook is always seeking to cross-reference friends in their Body Snatcher-type cross-advertising.


When you think about it, Facebook is a virus that everyone volunteers to catch. Hell, I'm aware, and even I'm OK with catching that virus. Is this good for us? I don't know. As a guy who depends on social media to advertise my books? I'm OK with that. As a human being? I don't know.


As a writer with books to pimp, I wish more people would just OBEY, but at the same time, I want them to put on the THEY LIVE sunglasses without getting into an awful alley brawl with Keith David. I struggle with it all the time.


Being the person who OBEYs is fine, because you continue living your life without knowing the truth, and there's comfort in that. Being the person who puts on the sunglasses? That leads to suicide missions on alien spacecraft/transmitters.


I *might* be making waaaaaaaaaaay too much out of this because I'm nervous about my dental appointment tomorrow. Goodnight, fuckers.

TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE IS FREE ON KINDLE THIS WEEK! ALSO, SHARE THIS IMAGE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A PAPERBACK COPY!

If you follow me on Twitter but not on Facebook, this has been making the rounds of Facebook yesterday. I want everyone to not only share the news that this book is for free this week on Kindle, but I also want to make sure everyone gets a chance to win an actual physical copy. Please start sharing the above image on Facebook. StrangeHouse is watching . . .


And what the hell? Why not give out more free shit? If you get TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE on Kindle (or if you're one of the lucky few who win a paperback copy), please review it on Amazon or Goodreads or, if you're really awesome, review it on your blog. Send me a link, and I'll send you a PDF of my first novel, STRIP, for FREE. That's right. Free. My second favorite four letter F-word.

#TeamStrangeHouse

EVERYONE'S GOT ONE #15: SOCIETY OF WHORES

I remember a while ago, a lot of my friends were getting excited over an online social network called MySpace, and they were practically begging me to join. I showed a great deal of reluctance, mostly because I’m not too big a fan of the Internet. I don’t even have it at home right now. I just use my connection at work and at the library. Back then, I mostly used it for email, which even I have recognized as a day-to-day important technology.



Most people use the Internet for porn, or for pictures of cute kitties. To each their own.


I’ve come around slightly since then, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Many of you know that my friends eventually talked me into joining MySpace, and I did recognize its potential as a way to get to know people. To be entertained. And also, to entertain.


But one day . . . MySpace didn’t seem quite so important. Everyone was talking about Facebook instead. Why? What happened to make MySpace an online graveyard?


Has anyone been back to MySpace lately? Just to see what’s going on? Or even out of morbid curiosity? I have. Anyone else who has, as well, knows what the problem is. Who else is still hanging around MySpace on a regular basis? Whores. MySpace is a society of whores, and that’s where things went wrong.


I’m not talking about spammers. I’m talking about something even more insidious. Let me tell you how things went down for me, and we can compare notes afterward.


I decided, when I joined MySpace as Tusitala (for purposes of my magazine, TABARD INN), that I would befriend anyone who sought me out, provided they weren’t spammers and they were 18 or over. (I only ever broke my second rule twice, and they were exceptions for family members.)


I learned a lot about other publications through MySpace, and as a result, I managed to get published in a few other magazines. Pretty cool, right? I made friends with a lot of fellow writers, many of whom were really nice folks. But then . . . there were a few other writers I noticed who weren’t really interested in making friends.


They were interested in making sales. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. The only time they ever sent out bulletins or posted blogs was when they were trying to sell something.


Don’t get me wrong. I’ve promoted stuff through social networks. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when it’s the ONLY thing you do? That makes me suspicious. Also, a bit nauseous. I’m supposed to be talking to people online, not marketing robots.


So when my friends started trying to convince me to join Facebook instead, I gave in. Fuck it, right? Except this time, I decided that I would only befriend people who were actually interested in having fun and getting a laugh out of the online society. No more acceptance of people who were interested only in pimping their shit.


As a result, my use of Facebook (and Twitter, when it comes to that) has been a lot happier.


However, I’m starting to notice something that threatens the haven of Facebook and Twitter. More and more, companies are using social networks to advertise. They offer deals to people only if they send a friend request on Facebook. Get fifty-percent off if you follow us on Twitter.


And sure enough, many of you fall for it. That’s your business. As for me, I’ve pledged never to have any dealings with companies like Bank of America or McDonald’s or Coca-Cola or even Jim Beam online. I’m much happier for it. But I sense a lot of you are going to have a falling out with Facebook over this pretty soon. I can easily see Facebook joining the MySpace society of whores.


I have only one rule when it comes to social networking, and perhaps you can benefit from this: these places exist for making and maintaining friendships, not for making customers. Promote your stuff, but remember to be human. Have an opinion every once in a while. And don’t forget to have a few laughs.


Speaking of opinions, I’d love to hear yours in the comments below.