GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #620: SPINDLE

 

I just finished reading Fireworks by Jim Thompson, so I officially have no more of his work to read. Everything that has been published has passed before my eyes. Unless new work is discovered, I will spend the rest of my life without reading anything from him that I haven't already read.

Take a look at that cover. It took me a while to figure out what that was. Way more time than it should have. It's a spindle. No one ever uses spindles today because they're dangerous to have around. I saw a few of them in shops and offices when I worked as a parts driver for the City of Elmhurst, but that was twenty years ago. Even back then I thought it was crazy that anyone still used them. So crazy that I used one in my first book, Strip.

If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, way back when, people used to use spindles to keep track of receipts. Spindles are spikes that point up from someone's desk, and people impaled receipts on them. If you slipped in your office you were likely to impale yourself on it, hence the danger.

Thompson uses it as a weapon in this book. A character pulls another character off balance in an office setting, and that guy lands on his spindle, shoving it through his mouth and out the back of his head. Pretty cool. I liked it.

Here's a part of my writing that no one ever brings up to me: my use of foreshadowing. I don't lack the subtlety of, say, Ti West foreshadowing deaths in X, but I don't think I was hiding it all that well. Here's what happens in Strip:

I just realized I was about to spoil one of my own books. Whoops. I'll try to be vague about it. There is a character, at the end of the book, who kills another character by putting a spindle through that person's eye. Earlier in the book, I believe in the first chapter, the killer sits in that same office fantasizing about shoving that same spindle into someone's eye and killing them.

Spindles, at least in fiction, should make a comeback. They make for excellent weapons.

I'll bet you've never read an essay that uses the word "spindle" as much as this one does.

POST PRINTERS ROW BOOK SALE

 Since we got rained out on the second day of Printers Row, I still have stock of my own books. Here is what I have and what each one costs. And I'll tell you what, I'll give you a deal. Buy any three books? That's $30 in total, shipping included.

-THE LIFE AND TIMES OF HIERONYMUS ALOYSIS ZIEGE: 23 copies. $12 each. If you buy this book, you will also get a copy of SHIT POEMS NUMBER 2 for free! Limited to 30 copies! First come, first serve.

-TALES OF UNSPEAKABLE TASTE: 3 copies. $14 each.

-BLOOD: 5 copies. $12 each.

-POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS: 2 copies. $10 each.

-TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE: 2 copies. $12.

-STRIP: 1 copy. $15.

-GONZO RISING: 1 copy. $12.

And what the hell? I have a bunch of copies of issues 1 and 3 of TABARD INN. I'll throw those in for free for any purchase. I'd put issue 2 in there, too, but I'm pretty sure I'm out of those.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #418: LOOK WHAT ARRIVED TODAY

 

When I got home from my adventures today I was very pleased to see the new Lansdale had arrived. I took a look at that cover and thought, huh, that style looks very familiar to me. It took me a moment to think about my own books. STRIP and POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS in particular. And then it came to me.

Luke Spooner! I'd know his work anywhere! I'm glad to see that he's getting great work. I remember a while back I saw his work in Cemetery Dance, and now here he is working for my favorite living author! That's a hell of a gig, Luke! Congratulations!

Here's something very few people know right now. I can count the number of people on my fingers, in fact. Luke did the cover for my next book, too. One that has not been announced yet. One that some know I've been working on, but they have no idea that it's almost upon us.

I'd wanted it out in time for Printers Row, but things got in the way. I no longer had as much money as I was supposed to have due to surprise expenses, so I had to backburner the book. I'm going to try to get it out by Christmas just in time for the sick fucks on your shopping list, but in all likelihood it will probably be out early in 2022.

I can't wait to show you what Luke did for this one. It's an amazing cover, and you're all going to love it! Stay tuned . . .

BOOK SALE!

My short-term disability check may have finally cleared, but I'm still in deep water with my creditors. While I'm doing this week of shameless self-promotion, I figured I'd dig into my own stock and see what I've got. Sure, you can buy these through Amazon, but if you buy them from me, you can get them signed. If I can physically put these books in your hand, there is no shipping charge. If I have to mail it, though, there will be a $2 shipping charge. So here's what I've got. If you see something you want, let me know. First come, first served.


--BLOOD (8 copies) $10 each


--STRIP (1 copy) $12


--STRANGE SEX 3 (1 copy) $7


--DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN (1 copy) $5


--TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE (1 copy) $10


--ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! BRAIN BANG! (2 copies) $10 each (contains "Pack Rat")


--POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS (1 copy) $10

POST-PRINTERS ROW SALE

The Printers Row show in Chicago is my favorite place to sell books, and once again I have been very lucky. I sold out of almost everything. The following is a list of everything I have left, but I'm giving you Printers Row prices. Each is $12 (plus shipping, unless I can hand deliver to you), or if you go with the 3 for $30 deal, you don't have to pay shipping. Act fast. These books are all I have.


--DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN: 1 copy

--STRANGE SEX 3: 1 copy

--STRIP: 1 copy

--POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS: 1 copy

--ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! BRAIN BANG!: 2 copies

TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE extras

I remember when I first held a copy of TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE in my hands. It was a marvel to behold. It was my second book. STRIP, my first book, didn't do so well, but TOQT made me very happy. It put me on the map. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here now without its publication.


I did find it odd, however, that a few things were left out or changed. When I submitted this collection, I didn't know what StrangeHouse would want out of me, so I gathered all of my published stories and a few I really wanted to get out there, and I told them to pick which stories they wanted, which they did.


I always kind of wondered why they changed the name of the final story from "The Skyscraper of Forbidden Delight" to "The Skyscraper of Suspicious Delight." I suspect it was a typo or a misunderstanding, because in the story notes, the title remains "The Skyscraper of Forbidden Delight."


They also left out the copyright page listing where the stories first appeared and my dedication. Here's a little extra material that you haven't seen before.

© 2009 “The Space at the Bottom of Martin Oglesby’s Desk Drawer” (First appeared in TALES OF THE TALISMAN)

© 2008 “Outside Her Window, It Waits” (First appeared in LOST INNOCENCE)

© 2012 “Monster Cock”

© 2008 “Amber” (First appeared in THE MONSTERS NEXT DOOR)

© 2012 “Riding the Midnight Gloom” (First appeared in LIQUID IMAGINATION)

© 2007 “Virtuoso” (First appeared in AOIFE’S KISS)

© 2008 “Suicidal Tendencies” with Nicole Evans (First appeared in THE MONSTERS NEXT DOOR)

© 2011 “Family Man” (First appeared in A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE)

© 2007 “Pimp of the Living Dead” (First appeared in TABARD INN:  TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE)

© 2010 “Corpusplasty” (First appeared in TALES OF UNSPEAKABLE TASTE)

© 2012 “A Place to Be”

© 2008 “Shrink” (First appeared in FROM THE ASYLUM)

© 2010 “Timely” (First appeared in HOUSE OF BIZARRO)

© 2002 “Baseball Players are a Superstitious Lot” (First appeared in COLLEGE NEWS)

© 2004 “Slummin’ It” (First appeared in TABARD INN)

© 2005 “A Night in the Unlife” (First appeared in NIGHT TO DAWN)

© 2004 “Yum” (First appeared in THE NOCTURNAL LYRIC)

© 2012 “The Skyscraper of Forbidden Delight”

This collection is dedicated to all of the editors who have ever taken a chance on me.  I appreciate everything you have done for me, and I hope the publication of this book drives some new customers your way.

BOOKS FOR SALE

Whoo-boy. Looks like I'm not going to be able to pay all my bills this month. I have a substantial tax return coming soon, but it's not going to be in time. So . . . time for a book sale! Have you ever considered buying one of my books, but you've never gone through with it? Now's the time! I'm offering this sale for the rest of April. You're never going to beat these prices, so now's the time to jump in. Here's what I've got:

-STRIP: 2 copies, $10 each

-TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE: 3 copies, $8 each

-DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN: 5 copies, $5 each

-ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! BRAIN BANG!: 2 copies, $8 each

-STRANGE FUCKING STORIES: 1 copy, $8


If you live close enough to me for hand delivery, that's cool. Otherwise there may be a shipping fee. I'll have to find out what that is and get back to you. If you see something you like, please let me know. Thanks!

BOOKS IN STOCK

It's been a while since I posted what I have in stock of my own books in case you want to buy directly from me. I'll even do the 3 for $25 deal that we usually do at conventions and book festivals. Otherwise they're $10 each. (Or, if you're just buying DoF, $7.) If you live close enough to me that I can hand deliver it, cool. If not, shipping charges will apply. If you see something you like, let me know.

-STRIP: 2

-TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE: 3

-POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS: 1

-DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN: 6

-STRANGE SEX 3: 4

-ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! BRAIN BANG!: 2

-STRANGE FUCKING STORIES: 1

WANNA BUY A BOOK PERSONALLY FROM ME?

I just did a book fest in Morris, IL, and it was not as successful as I was hoping. Right now I'm sitting on a treasure trove of stock. If you want to buy from me directly, let me know. Everything is ten bucks, or I have a 3 for $25 deal. My stock is as follows:


-STRIP: 2 (You should really buy from me. If you go to Amazon you'll be charged an arm and a leg. With me it's either $10 or cheaper if you go with the 3 for $25 deal.)

-TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE: 3

-POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS: 1

-DONG OF FRANKENSTEIN: 7

-STRANGE SEX 3: 4

-ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE! BRAIN BANG!: 2

-STRANGE FUCKING STORIES: 1


I also have one more thing. It's not included in the 3 for $25 deal, though. I have the very last copy of STRANGER DANGER by Kevin Strange and Danger_Slater that you will find on the market. Go look at Amazon. See? No one's even selling it used. This book is out of print, and while you can purchase the novellas within separately, the likelihood of this book ever going back into print in this form is very, very slim. It is also signed by both Kevin and Danger. This is a super collectible right now. I could be a dick and charge $100 for it, but you can have it for $15. That's right, for $15 you can have the final copy of STRANGER DANGER for sale.


Let me know if you want some books. If you don't live close to me (so I can hand deliver to you), there might be shipping charges. If it's just for one book, I'll eat the cost, but if you want more than one I'll have to find out how much that costs.

HOW TO GET STRIP FOR LESS THAN $15.25

It's great to have STRIP back in print, but holy hell that's a lot of money to charge for it. If I could get Amazon to sell it for cheaper, I would, believe you me.


But . . . well . . . there are two ways you can get it for less. Ten bucks, in fact. However, a lot of factors have to come together for you.


First of all, you have to be in the Chicagoland area on either August 1st or the weekend of August 7-9. In the case of 8-1, you'll have to be at G-Mart Comics in the city at 8 pm until whenever the new Bizarro Hour ends. In the case of 8-7 to 9, you have to be in Rosemont for Flashback Weekend. I will have copies of STRIP at both of these events, even though it is not bizarro or horror. And yes, I will be selling them for ten bucks a pop. Interested? Then come on out.


I'm not the only attraction at either of these places, kiddies. At the new Bizarro Hour, we'll have a bunch of awesome writers like:





And to top it all off, I'm sharing a table at Flashback with none other than the author of CATTLE CULT! KILL! KILL! himself, MP Johnson. (And, you know, there are a bunch of horror celebrities at the show, as well.) So yeah. Come on out, have some fun, buy some books. Maybe get drunk. Who knows? I hope to see you all over the course of the next couple of weekends!


EDIT: Want STRIP and my other books for EVEN LESS? Plus MP Johnson's books? Go here and print up a 10% off coupon for Flashback!

STRIP IS BACK IN PRINT!

My first book, which has been out of print for a while, is being re-released through Riot Forge! And check out that awesome new cover by Luke Spooner! Currently, it's available on Kindle here, and soon there will be a print edition. [EDIT: The print edition is here!]


For those who only know me primarily from my horror and bizarro work with StrangeHouse, this is a hardcore crime novel. Imagine if Jim Thompson and Richard Stark had a kid together and gave it to Mickey Spillane to raise, and you have STRIP. It's ultra-violent and hyper-sexed, so if your tastes run toward hardcore, and you're iffy about a crime book, this is probably up your alley. A group of criminals try to pull a strip club heist, but it's a mafia joint, and none of them know that one of the strippers is an undercover cop trying to take the owner down. If that doesn't grab you by the nuts, I don't know what will.


But what the hell? Here are some satisfied Goodreads readers talking about the book, Hellnotes did a great review, and apparently people want to pirate it, so I must be on to something, right?


I'll let you know as soon as the print edition is available. Thank you, as always, for reading.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: MY FIRST NOVEL WILL BE OUT OF PRINT AT THE END OF THE MONTH

I just got the news this morning: Musa, the publisher of my first novel, is going out of business. There is no scandal, they're not in debt, there is nothing to see here. It's just that it's no longer financially feasible for them to continue doing business. This is effective at the end of the day on February 28, 2015. As a result, they will be taking all of their titles off of Amazon, Barnes & Noble and all the other places they sell ebooks from. STRIP will no longer be in print when they do this.


Right now, it's only available as an ebook, and that will only last until the end of the month. After that, it will be out of print, so if you want to read it, now's the time. Hell, it's even for sale at Musa's website. 80% off! How can you turn away from an ebook for $1.20? Get it here, while you still can.


If you're still on the fence about it, here's my favorite review. Take a look at Amazon for some customer reviews. There are even a few at Goodreads. If ultra-violent, hyper-sexed neo-noir is your thing, then you should really check it out and fast. You only have one week left.


It's not all bad news. To be fair, I was unhappy with the contract I signed. It's my fault, I know, but getting a physical print run would have required higher sales than I got. I overestimated the book's ability to get out there. This will free me up from the contract, and I think I'm going to bring it to Createspace for a physical run. It won't have the same awesome cover, since the name of Musa's imprint is on it, but I do have plans to re-release it. It's just going to be a while.


Nothing against Musa. They gave me a chance when others wouldn't, and I appreciate it. I wish everyone involved the best of luck in the future.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #115: A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE DENTIST'S

Some of you may recall that I had a bout with gingivitis a few years back, and while I've defeated it, my gums have receded a bit too much. I wound up losing a tooth to it. I got an implant, as described in my old multi-part "Tales of Dentistry." The dentist I'm about to talk about is referred to as Dentist Two in the second part of that series.


I recently went to my dentist for a cleaning, and the hygienist said that my gums on tooth 26 had receded too far, to the point where if I did nothing about it, I would lose that tooth. Dentist one referred me to dentist two again for a skin graft.


I just got back from my Vegas vacation, so I had the day off to recover. Because it sounded urgent, I decided to go in for my gum graft today and get that over with. It went very well. There were no issues. However, after, when I was setting up my appointment to get the stitches taken out, the receptionist suddenly remembered me. Dentist two remembered fairly well, but the receptionist suddenly had total recall.


She asked me if I used to come in with my grandfather. I did. She asked me if I was a writer. I was (and still am, in case all of you have forgotten). She asked me if I liked horror, and I said yes.


Then, she said something very odd to me. She said that she remembered thinking about this nice young man who used to come in with his grandfather, who needed a tooth implant. Immediately, I thought, "Oh shit." Because I was on my best behavior due to the fact I was going to see a dentist whom I didn't know. (I don't act like myself if I'm in such a situation.) Also, my grandfather was with me because I was on trial for DUI at the time. If he didn't drive me, I couldn't make it to the dentist.


But then she said that she wanted to set me up with her daughter, who really likes horror books, whose husband she hated. I wanted to tell her about the way I really am, but I knew it would just be more awkward, so I stayed silent.


And then she asked about how my writing career was going, so I talked vaguely about my first book, STRIP, from MUSA, and my second book, TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE, from StrangeHouse. Also, I told her my third book was coming out soon, although I didn't mention the title. It's pretty vulgar, and it might change by the time it comes out. But still.


The next thing I know, she's telling everyone else in the office that I'm a writer of horror and crime. All of a sudden, everyone, including Dentist Two, wants to read my books. They said they were going to look me up on Amazon.


I didn't dare tell them that my second book features a space giant fucking the sun, as provided by the awesome Jesse Wheeler.


Only one of them strikes me as someone who might enjoy my work. The others? Let's just say that my next visit to the office should be . . . interesting.

READ THE FIRST 5 CHAPTERS OF MY FIRST BOOK FOR FREE

Despite the things I said in this post, I really do want you to read my first book, STRIP. I'm not going to try too hard, considering how it's the redheaded stepchild of the publisher, for whatever reason. But it is a fun read. Most of you know me from my horror work, and this is a crime novel. It's hyper-sexed and ultra-violent, like most of my work, but it is a crime book. If you're feeling kind of weird about giving a crime novel a try, why not read the first five chapters for free? Go here, and click on the LOOK INSIDE arrow, and you'll get the first five chapters (plus a few pages of the sixth chapter) for free. There isn't a lot of action this early in the book, but you get to meet the characters, and you get to see the seeds of the plot being sown. I think if you check it out, you'll be interested in finding out more. For a mere $5.99, you can read the rest of it. (Plus, you'll get to see the adult content warning that I talk so much about.) It's got a five-star rating, so it's got to be good, right? If you buy it, be sure to leave me a review to let me know what you think. Thanks, as always, for your time.

EH, DON'T BOTHER BUYING MY FIRST BOOK

I know this seems like a strange way to start a week of self-promotion. The title of this piece isn't even truthful. I really do want you to buy STRIP. But I've ceased giving a fuck. I've been having problems with this one. A lot of them. The reason I can't bring myself to care anymore is simple. The straw that broke the camel's back?


STRIP was supposed to be a Kindle giveaway today through Thursday, and the publisher gives so little a fuck about my book that they ignored my submission form, even though I sent it in twice. I don't know why they wouldn't approve it. It's not like this book is selling, anyway. We might as well give it away for free. Who knows? Maybe a few people like it so much they leave positive reviews. Maybe in the future, when the book isn't free anymore, someone will look at those positive reviews and decide to buy the fuckin' thing.


But that's too much work, I guess. So fuck it. They no longer care about my book? I no longer care about my book. It's not even a good fit with the rest of my body of popular work. Most of you come to me through my horror or bizarro work. How many of those people would want to read a crime novel from me? Granted, it's a hypersexed, ultraviolent crime book. It's incredibly offensive. It's so crazy there's a parental warning on the first page. But it's still a crime book.


So yeah. Who gives a fuck? Eventually, I'll do a print run which, according to my contract, I can't even sell. I can only give 'em away. But maybe if I gave away a physical copy, someone might read it. Anyone. At the very least, someone will use it as a beer coaster or to level out a coffee table. That way, it will come in handy. It will be used. Anything's better than a waste of space, which I guess it is right now.


Fuck it. Rant over. If you really want to buy it, you can do so here. I'd appreciate it if you do, but if you don't? I don't give a fuck.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #46: PATHS NOT TAKEN

I've wanted to be a professional writer for so long, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to be before that. I've always known I would need a day job, but what was my path before I went down the road that would lead me to STRIP, TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE, POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS and all the other projects I have waiting in the wings to be released?


I've been thinking about it a lot because, as I'm sure some of you have noticed, I'm not happy with my day job right now, for reasons I may someday publicly talk about. I look at all these smooth motherfuckers who make a living by creating their own jobs, which has its appeal, but I wonder if I would be able to live with myself. I could, for example, be a self-help guru. I help a lot of writers. I give fairly good advice. I think I could make a pretty penny at that.


But it wouldn't be my rightful calling.


Or how about being a "professional friend" or cuddler? You know the people who rent themselves out to other people who don't have friends. They hang out and pretend, and for a while the customer is happy. Or those people who throw cuddling parties. I think I could get into things like that.


But neither of these things would be my rightful calling.


When I was in junior high, I wanted to be a scientist for my day job. A biologist, in particular. I learned I had an aptitude for it. Science class was the only class I ever looked forward to. I got a kick out of the experiments we did. Would I have ever been a great scientist? Probably not. I could probably have made a living as a mediocre scientist working for a great scientist.


That might have once been a calling, but it wouldn't have been satisfying in the end. Who wants to just be good enough at something?


I think I'm stuck with dead-end jobs for the time being. But I still think about those paths not taken. I hope quantum physics is right about alternate universes, because I know that somewhere in existence, I'm a scientist. Or a self-help guru. Or a professional friend. Or a cuddler. And I think it would be fascinating to meet all those other versions of me.


Who knows? Maybe one of the me's in the multiverse is a bestselling author.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #37: STRANGE DAYS, INDEED

It's very odd. A while ago, I did a Strange the World in which I complained how my previous publisher had handled my first book. I never mentioned them by name, of course. I don't want to do anything like that, although if you've paid attention to me long enough (and I'm still at a place where I'm wondering why you would ever do that), I guess you could probably figure it out. Shortly after the vidcast aired, I heard back from my other publisher, and they showed an interest in helping market my book better. I have to wonder if they're viewers of the StrangeHouse vidcast.


Anyway, they got back to me with a few ideas, and I'll hopefully be able to take advantage of some of these. STRIP is an excellent book. It's a crime book, so it's different from what most people know me for, but at the same time, it is ultra-violent and hyper-sexed, so it's not all that different.


I'm glad that they're giving my book more thought. It deserves it. For those seeking fucked up stories, this is definitely one of them. You'll be hard pressed to find more damaged characters doing things they shouldn't be doing.


I don't intend for GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS to turn into a promotional thing. Besides, chances are, if you're reading this, you know where to find STRIP. I just hope to have print copies soon. If these new ideas work out, I think I'll finally get my wish. I'll keep you posted.

TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE IS FREE ON KINDLE THIS WEEK! ALSO, SHARE THIS IMAGE FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A PAPERBACK COPY!

If you follow me on Twitter but not on Facebook, this has been making the rounds of Facebook yesterday. I want everyone to not only share the news that this book is for free this week on Kindle, but I also want to make sure everyone gets a chance to win an actual physical copy. Please start sharing the above image on Facebook. StrangeHouse is watching . . .


And what the hell? Why not give out more free shit? If you get TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE on Kindle (or if you're one of the lucky few who win a paperback copy), please review it on Amazon or Goodreads or, if you're really awesome, review it on your blog. Send me a link, and I'll send you a PDF of my first novel, STRIP, for FREE. That's right. Free. My second favorite four letter F-word.

#TeamStrangeHouse

'TIS THE SEASON FOR FREE SHIT!

It's almost time for Christmas, and I'm in a giving mood. At Days of the Dead in Schaumburg this past month, I offered a full set of TABARD INN magazines for everyone who bought my StrangeHouse book, TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE. The promotion worked so well that we sold out of my book by Sunday. I think it's time to bring back the deal.


I have two books out right now. If you buy them both, let me know at editor@talesofquestionabletaste.com, and I will send you all three issues of TABARD INN for free. You won't even have to pay shipping. Just send me your physical address, and I'll send 'em off. OK?





STRIP is my first novel and is available on Kindle only (at least for now). It's about a group of desperate men who attempt to rob a Mafia-run strip club that is being watched by an undercover cop. Of course, things go horribly wrong. If you're looking for an ultraviolent, hypersexed crime book, this is what you want. You can find it on Amazon here.





TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE is my second book, my first collection of short stories. True to the title, these stories are nasty buggers. If you're not careful, they'll rape and murder your brain. We have monsters, portals to other worlds, superstitious baseball players, euthanasia enthusiasts, necrophilia, cannibalism and a skyscraper full of affluent, murderous perverts. Something for everyone's taste, questionable as it may be. This book is available on Kindle, but you can also get it in paperback from Amazon here.


Want to know more about TABARD INN? Feel free to look around here. There are three issues. The first contains four short stories, part one of a serial, four poems and two articles. Issue two has five stories, part two of a serial, one poem, two articles and a bunch of beautiful black and white pictures. Issue three--the biggest of them all--has a whopping 31 stories, the third and final part of a serial, one poem, one article and some of the most beautiful black and white pictures you've ever seen. That's 54 titles and a lot of pictures FOR FREE. How could you not be interested in that?


But wait! There's more! If you review these books (honestly, of course; I'm not looking to bribe anyone), either on Amazon, Goodreads or your own blog, please forward it to me, and I'll post it on Twitter (@tusitalabruni). Whether you liked them or hated them, I'll email you a free short story in a Word document featuring one of the characters from STRIP. The offer expires on New Year's Day.


Merry Free Shit Day!

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ STRIP FOR FREE?

Well, not completely for free.  I meant that you won't have to pay me anything.  I do ask for a favor, though.

Allow me to explain.  Since STRIP is an ebook at this time (I hope to someday have a physical edition), it is impossible to get it into the library.  I came up with a plan to create a physical copy of the novel that wasn't actually a book.  My "brilliant" plan was to take the PDF and throw it onto a disc and put it in a DVD case to make it look professional and then try to get libraries to carry it in this form.  The main library I had in mind, the one I used to work for, carried books in mp3 format, so I thought this would be a slam dunk with them.  Plus, you know, I USED TO WORK THERE.  You'd think they would be interested in carrying a novel written by a former employee, even if they did fire me (unjustly, I might add).  The other libraries in the area might have been a problem, since they were more traditional.

Big surprise:  no one was interested.  It was just a format they didn't care for.  (My library stopped carrying mp3 novels a little while ago.)  I'm sure they would have given an actual book more consideration, but they barely gave STRIP any thought.  As a result, I have 5 copies of my book in PDF form on discs, and I'd rather not have them clutter up my place, so here's the deal:

Send me your mailing address (at editor@talesofquestionabletaste.com), and I will send you one of these things, free of charge.  First come, first serve.  The only thing I ask in return is that you 1) review it on Amazon or Goodreads or wherever you like to go, and 2) when you're done with the book, pass it on to someone you think will enjoy it.  I'd be grateful it if you'd ask them to do the same thing I've asked of you.  You don't have to, and I'd never know if you didn't, but I'd appreciate it if you mentioned it.

Also, you'll notice that there is a promotional offer on the disc, stating that if you want to add STRIP to your collection, I will send you a free bonus story if you send me a receipt of your purchase.  That offer is still valid.  Sure, you can probably just copy it from the disc.  It's copy-protected, but I'm sure you could find a way around it.  I'd appreciate it if you didn't, and hey!  Free story!

Also, as a reminder, I have a new book out from StrangeHouse.  Right now it's available on Kindle here, and there will soon be a physical copy.  Thank you!