I've got a problem. It's . . . it's my bunghole. It's exposed, and you never want your bunghole open to the world. Anyone could come along and peek into it. Or even stick their finger in. And if they touch what's inside? You never want that.
But here's the situation. My bung became horribly warped. It just wouldn't fit back into my bunghole. No matter how hard I pushed and twisted, it just wouldn't get back in there. I put up a great effort, but sadly my bung was destroyed. Never to fit a bunghole ever again.
I tried to buy a new bung, but who the fuck sells bungs, really? I had to make do with a cork. But it's not like I could test each cork at the hardware store, sticking them all into my bunghole to see if it would fit properly. No, so I had to buy a bunch of corks to bring home and test them each in the privacy of my home.
It took five corks before I found the right one. The others were too small, and one was too big. I found the Goldilocks cork to fit just right into my bunghole. Now I don't have to worry that it's open and available to just about anybody.
Just in time, too. I really wanted my whiskey barrel to be able to age properly, and if you don't have something to cover up that bunghole, it just doesn't do the trick. Plus you risk losing booze to evaporation. Wait, what did you think I was talking about? Oh. Oh! You . . . you dirty so and so's.
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| Heh-heh. |
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