Happy Fourth to all who celebrate. For all the shit I say in these columns, I am one of those people. I love America, but that's not an unconditional love. Because as much as I love my country, it constantly aggravates me by not living up to its dream, its promise.
A lot of my frustration can be explained by this video in which Weird Al is begging America to stop being weird. Read that sentence again for the full effect.
I'm going to read off a Bill Hicks quote for the billionth time in my life. And it's not just because Garth Ennis quotes it in Preacher, my favorite comic book of all time. This really resonates with me. Every time you read me taking my country to task over something or battling with corporations or tech bros and such, the impetus for that all comes from this quote. I do my best to live by it. I don't always succeed because I'm not perfect, far from it, but if you were to rip my chest open and pull my beating heart from my ribcage, you would see these words etched onto my pump:
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor--even president, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns, I always wanted to be the avenging cowboy hero--that lone voice in the wilderness, fighting corruption and evil wherever I found it, and standing for freedom, truth and justice. And in my heart of hearts I still track the remnants of that dream wherever I go, in my endless ride into the setting sun.
This country stands for freedom, but every day our politicians take freedom from us and put it in the hands of corporations, and corporations are loyal to one concept and one concept only: shareholder value. Everything else can die in a fire. And it's not just politicians and CEOs, it's fellow Americans, too. The last time we were this divided we literally killed each other over it. I think the second Civil War has already begun. It's only being fought on social media right now, but with tensions ratcheted up this high? It's almost a guarantee that the physical fighting will begin when this next election is called.
Americans should not be fighting Americans. We're on the same fucking team, for fuck's sake! But we're at each others' throats, some thinking that they're fighting a good vs. evil situation, others thinking that they're fighting a right vs. wrong situation. It sounds the same, but it's not. The first has religious connotations, the second has morality connotations. You can be a moral person and not have a god. Those people, I think, are the most moral people on the planet. They're doing it because they want to, not because there's some scary threat of Hell behind it.
Ever see Mars Attacks? I realize I sound like Jack Nicholson's "Why can't we all just get along" speech with the same disastrous results. But we really can work together. We really can put aside our differences and go after our true enemy: the corporations that are ruining our lives.
Because we have to live together. And neither side is willing to make any sacrifices on their part because neither side thinks they're wrong or even allows the possibility that they *might* be wrong. And I think that's why America might be over. Irreconcilable differences.
Rome didn't end when the Romans decided to crown Julius Caesar as emperor, nor did it end with the triumvirate that followed his assassination. Depending on which historian you ask, the Roman Empire toddled on for hundreds of years to a thousand years. So whatever we'll have will still be called America, but it wouldn't really be America. The same people who will argue the Second Amendment to death in favor of owning assault rifles to defend against the government want to install Trump as an emperor. And something tells me he wouldn't deny the crown three times, like Caesar. He'll snatch that crown like a beast from the filthy commoner who would hand it to him.
America promises big, but it doesn't deliver. Our system is easily manipulated by criminals and psychopaths, and I hate that that's possible. I hate it when powerful people take advantage of those with little to no power. I hate that the corporations flaunt their power when we have regulations on the books against that but not enough regulators to enforce them. I hate that millionaires and billionaires are considered self-made heroes of the people when all they do is take advantage of the same people who call them heroes, and those people are never the wiser. I hate that Americans hate other Americans for who they are. Racism, sexism, all the -isms continually tear this country apart, and I hate that, too. Most of all, I hate that a thousand years from now the dominant society on earth will point back to the fall of America, comparing it to their own problems, talking about the danger to their own way of life. As Rome is a canary in a mine for us, we will be the same for whoever is the biggest power on earth in the future.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: All I want is for my beloved country to live up to its promise. The ideas are noble and lofty and good. The execution leaves a lot to be desired.
I know this column will have very little effect on the world, but it's all I can do. I have words, and I know how to use them. I can only hope someone who knows how to make America live up to itself reads this and knows how to implement a plan to fulfill this desire. I'm not holding my breath, but at the same time, I don't want to live to see my country turn into the monster that many of us want it to be. I don't want to live long enough to see such a noble idea die a violent and bloody death. And before you object, yes, I know that other countries already view us as monsters. We are pretty bad, but we're not nearly as bad as the worst of us want us to be.
OK, it's cheesy, but fuck it. Why can't we all just get along?
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