Tuesday, June 25, 2013


[DEPT. OF FULL DISCLOSURE:  I know Z.M. Thomas, and I consider him a friend.  That said, I do not give out favorable reviews due to bias.  Luckily, I’ve never had to trash a friend yet.  I think that’s because I’m really good at meeting and befriending talented people.]

Remember how awesome and blasphemous ABE THE ABORTED FETUS was?  Writer Z.M. Thomas has done it again, but he’s upped his game this time in the “official” sequel to the Bible, THE BIBLE 2.  Hands down, this is the funniest trade you could have found in Artists Alley this year.  If you missed it, you’re a fool.

The story starts out on Jesus’s resurrection day, when he reveals to his followers that he’s leaving them to go to a faraway land called Utah, and no one should know that he’s there.  Mary Magdalene then creates a secret society dedicated to protecting this secret.  (Oh yeah, and Jesus gets there by riding a unicorn powered by rainbow farts.)

Fast forward about a thousand years, and Pope Clement V and the king of France are conspiring to draw Jesus out of hiding.  In the meantime, Tsidhqiyah, the descendant of Mary Magdalene and the last surviving member of the JLA (no, not THAT JLA, the Jewish League of Assassins), has come to ask Jesus for his help against the Pope, who is really the Devil himself in disguise.  A reluctant Jesus goes back home to take down the Papacy and save the world.

Yes, you read all of that right.  This is an actual book, and it’s even greater than this description.  Thomas has taken Jesus and turned him into an action hero, one-liners and all.  In fact, this book is so full of awesome one-liners, you’ll find yourself hard-pressed to not quote it to your friends.  This time out, Jesus has rocket sandals and laser eye beams and guns and he even smokes!

This is Jesus as you’ve never seen him before, and thanks to artist Amelia Woo, you get a very clear picture.  She pulls no punches, and she takes no prisoners.  With her help, you buy both the weed-smoking Jesus and the ass-kicking Jesus, even when they’re sometimes mere pages apart.

And yes, before you ask, Jesus does bring the dinosaurs back for his final charge on Vatican City.

If all of this doesn’t convince you to buy this book, chances are you’re a hardcore Christian.  Still, aren’t you curious to find out what happened after Jesus rode off to Utah on his unicorn?  Pick up this book and find out the true story of what happened to your savior in the thousand years after his resurrection.  You won’t be sorry.

Written by Z.M. Thomas
Illustrated by Amelia Woo
Published by Trepidation Comics
A shit-ton of pages, all of them funny as fuck


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