[DEPT. OF FULL DISCLOSURE:
I know Z.M. Thomas, and I consider him a friend. That said, I do not give out favorable
reviews due to bias. Luckily, I’ve never
had to trash a friend yet. I think
that’s because I’m really good at meeting and befriending talented people.]
Remember how awesome and blasphemous ABE THE ABORTED FETUS
was? Writer Z.M. Thomas has done it
again, but he’s upped his game this time in the “official” sequel to the Bible,
THE BIBLE 2. Hands down, this is the
funniest trade you could have found in Artists Alley this year. If you missed it, you’re a fool.
The story starts out on Jesus’s resurrection day, when he
reveals to his followers that he’s leaving them to go to a faraway land called Utah , and no one should
know that he’s there. Mary Magdalene
then creates a secret society dedicated to protecting this secret. (Oh yeah, and Jesus gets there by riding a
unicorn powered by rainbow farts.)
Fast forward about a thousand years, and Pope Clement V and
the king of France
are conspiring to draw Jesus out of hiding.
In the meantime, Tsidhqiyah, the descendant of Mary Magdalene and the
last surviving member of the JLA (no, not THAT JLA, the Jewish League of
Assassins), has come to ask Jesus for his help against the Pope, who is really
the Devil himself in disguise. A
reluctant Jesus goes back home to take down the Papacy and save the world.
Yes, you read all of that right. This is an actual book, and it’s even greater
than this description. Thomas has taken
Jesus and turned him into an action hero, one-liners and all. In fact, this book is so full of awesome
one-liners, you’ll find yourself hard-pressed to not quote it to your
friends. This time out, Jesus has rocket
sandals and laser eye beams and guns and he even smokes!
This is Jesus as you’ve never seen him before, and thanks to
artist Amelia Woo, you get a very clear picture. She pulls no punches, and she takes no
prisoners. With her help, you buy both
the weed-smoking Jesus and the ass-kicking Jesus, even when they’re sometimes
mere pages apart.
And yes, before you ask, Jesus does bring the dinosaurs back
for his final charge on Vatican City.
If all of this doesn’t convince you to buy this book,
chances are you’re a hardcore Christian.
Still, aren’t you curious to find out what happened after Jesus rode off
to Utah on
his unicorn? Pick up this book and find
out the true story of what happened to your savior in the thousand years after
his resurrection. You won’t be sorry.
THE BIBLE 2
Written by Z.M. Thomas
Illustrated by Amelia Woo
Published by Trepidation Comics
A shit-ton of pages, all of them funny as fuck
$19.99
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