COOL SHIT 8-1-13

G.I. JOE #6:  All right, I’ve been ragging on this new incarnation of G.I. JOE, and well within reason.  It’s a jokey, bullshit book which destroys the great storyline that came before it.  But this issue made me laugh.  I couldn’t help it.  It goes into Cover Girl’s history and why she decided to join the military.  Apparently, she was on an army reality show, in which celebrities (she was a model, remember) go through basic training and then face off against each other on TV for some prize or other.  While they shoot the season finale, a crew of pirates raid their desert island and take them captive, and only Cover Girl can save them.  It sounds stupid, I know, but it made me laugh, mostly because it skewers reality shows, and I FUCKING HATE REALITY SHOWS.

THE TRANSFORMERS:  MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE #19:  Wow, this one adds a lot to the mythology, in particular a few interesting uses for the Matrix in the old days.  But the big shocker this time out is . . . Ultra Magnus was never Ultra Magnus, not in all the time we’ve known him.  He’s not an impostor, nor did someone control his mind (like with Prowl in ROBOTS IN DISGUISE).  Ultra Magnus has been gone for centuries.  However, he created this armor that looks like him that other Autobots can wear so that they can be the ultimate lawman.  And it’s passed down through the generations.  How weird is that?  And ballsy.  I wonder how many Ultra Magnus fans are weeping right now.  But goddam!  IDW is kicking ass with this one!

THE WAKE #3:  I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to make of this series with the first issue.  It didn’t really say a lot, aside from introducing characters and mystery.  But plot?  Conflict?  Not so much.  This is quickly growing into one of my favorite miniseries.  Killer mermaids have been done before, but not like this.  The power they exert over their victims is astonishing, especially when it happens to the big game hunter.  You can practically hear him say, “Clever girl,” at one point.  Scott Snyder is an animal, and I wish he would cut back on the superhero stuff and concentrate more on stuff like this.  (And, of course, I’m going into AMERICAN VAMPIRE withdrawals.)

NEXT TESTAMENT #3:  Remember in last issue, when Wick had that dinner party of powerful guests at his mercy?  Well . . . not anymore.  They’re dead.  All of them, and in fantastic ways.  It’s an orgy of gore, and it’s a beauty to behold.  Not only that, but on a whim, he decides to change airplanes so they can’t fly anymore.  That’s right, all of them.  At once.  One has to wonder what the fuck this guy has in mind for the human race.  He’s delighted by them, but he seems to have no problem killing them off en masse.  This book gives me such a hard-on.  I can’t wait to see where Clive Barker brings us next!