You know those motorcycles with the sidecars attached? In my opinion, there is only one way to use those things. No, it's not by wearing a spiked helmet and driving your weird racist friend around in a war zone.
No, when I was driving to work this morning, I saw a dude on just such a bike. He was dressed like a normal guy in flannel, but his companion? It was not a weird racist friend muttering under his breath in a war zone. No, it was a dog. A pug. And that fucker looked like he meant business.
If you have a WWII-era motorcycle with a sidecar, and you don't have a pimp-looking pug riding shotgun, you are probably doing it wrong. This guy that I saw on my commute in to work? He was doing it right. Learn from his success, ye fuckers, and despair. If you don't, Indy Jones will put a piece of wood between your spokes, and then you'll be fucked, ye fuckers. Pay heed. Make this world more aesthetically pleasing.