Did you know that on January 1, 2000, Jem Finer, a founding member of the Pogues, set in motion a song that will play for 1000 years? That's right, it is currently playing now and will not stop playing until December 31, 2999. It's called "Longplayer," and I might surprise you with my opinion on this one.
Because I think it's fucking stupid.
Obviously it's not a real song. If it was, it would have taken at least 1000 years to write it, and who has the time? So what Finer did was write the beginning of it, and then he turned the song over to an algorithm to make up the rest of it based on the beginning. It's not supposed to imitate or repeat itself, so the music is supposed to constantly change over the course of a millennium. 20 minutes and 20 seconds were composed before the algorithm took over, and it's played on a single instrument. That instrument is made of 234 pieces, so I guess that's where the variety comes in. Although it's mostly Tibetan bowls and gongs, so I'm not sure how much variety that gets you.
It is broadcast from a lighthouse, and there are a bunch of listening posts all over the UK, if you're interested in giving it a listen. I'm not. I mean, I guess I'd listen to the first 20 minutes and 20 seconds, but after that? I have no interest. The argument could be made that since no human being could live to hear the whole thing, that it's kind of poetic that it's in the language of robots, but I don't buy it.
Because it's a very human hubris, taking it for granted that we'll still be around in 1000 years. With the situation in Ukraine and the Gaza strip, hopes aren't high that we'll still be around in 100 years. Maybe not even next week, all things considered. Although it might not come to that. US military leadership isn't all that strong right now thanks to Sen. Tuberville holding up all those promotions. I think it would be pretty funny if we can't thrust ourselves dick first into WWIII because some pud in Congress doesn't want soldiers to get a free ride on abortions. But I'm pretty sure we're going in anyway, and if a certain fuckface gets elected, it won't be long before we ejaculate nukes all over the world . . . and then get some back for our troubles. So yeah, I don't think the song will play out as planned.
Hey, speaking of 100 years, this song reminds me of a Robert Rodriguez film that's not supposed to be released for a hundred years. It is, unsurprisingly, called 100 Years, and it stars John Malkovich. All I know is that it's an SF flick that was produced by . . . Remy Martin? The cognac people?
It's supposed to be in honor of their Louis XIII, which takes 100 years to make. Apparently Rodriguez thought he was making some kind of commercial for them, and then they told him they were going to seal it in a safe for a hundred years before releasing it on November 18, 2115. That safe is designed to not open until the date of the premiere. And that safe is fucking bulletproof. They're not fucking around. Invitations already went out to 1000 guests, including Malkovich and Rodriguez, but what are the odds that anyone is going to live long enough to cash those tickets in?
Those tickets, by the way, are made of metal so they won't get damaged and can easily be passed down to descendants who actually do stand a chance of seeing the film one day. This is slightly less stupid than "Longplayer," because the film was entirely made by actual people, but I still say it's kinda stupid because I think 1000 people in the future are going to be disappointed. Unless they're the kind of people who like Super Bowl commercials. I imagine that this would be like the ultimate Super Bowl commercial, but you know how I feel about advertising and advertisers. They didn't exist on the level they do now when Dante wrote his Divine Comedy, but if there was a modern version of it, these sons of bitches would have their own circle of Hell. Fairly close to Satan, too. Maybe not in his mouths with Judas and Cassius and Brutus, but close enough.
I get that we need to have a long view of the world if we're going to have a chance of civilization still being here when "Longplayer" ends, but this is not the shit we should be dedicating our resources to.
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