Let me start out by saying I'm not entirely proud of myself for doing this. The more I think about it the more it feels weird and gross to me, so this is a regret of mine. But it was also an eye-opening experience at the same time, which is why I'm writing this.
A while back I was dating a sex worker. I also acted as her bodyguard, but I don't think I was wholly necessary to the equation in that regard. I never had to be threatening. My mere existence was enough to make her clients behave.
But one night we were both drunk, and she said I should pretend to be her with some of her potential clients. She found them on a popular dating app. I would have never though to use that to find customers, but then again I've never sold my body for sex, so why would I? But she had a few guys who were messaging her, and she didn't really like any of them, so she thought to turn me loose. The only stipulation she gave me is that I have to be weird about it.
I know weird pretty well, so I launched into it. I quickly learned that weird isn't an issue for these guys, and women are usually two or three texts away from a dick pic. I saw quite a few dicks that night, and none of them were impressive. One guy talked about how big he was, then sent this thing that looked like a branch on a weeping willow. A very short branch. Another guy had a giant glans, but his shaft was skinny to the point where I wondered if he feared it might come off in mid-coitus.
I messaged one guy about my murderous fantasies, and he was all, yeah, that's cool. When do you want to meet up? I wondered what he would say if I asked him to kill my dad. I considered sending that to him but realized that might be going too far. And I didn't really want to see him say yes. (It should be noted that I often have difficulty in knowing if I've gone too far, so if I *suspect* it's too far, it's probably waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fucking far.)
Catfishing technically isn't a crime, which is why I'm talking about it. For it to be a crime, there must be some kind of exchange, usually money, and I didn't do anything like that. These guys weren't even paying for sex with my girlfriend at the time. She'd already decided she *didn't* want their business.
But it was a pretty fucked up experience. I said I'm "not entirely proud of myself" because I did get useful information. I'm not endorsing this idea, but it might--mind you I said MIGHT--be a good idea for men to catfish at least once in their lives pretending to be a woman. You will learn something about men that you never really thought about before. You might choose the bear, too.
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