GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #108: NO, I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING UPDATE

Last night's GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS was posted this morning due to technical issues on my end. What were those technical issues? I'm glad you asked. You probably won't be glad you asked, though. Prepare yourself for another bitching and moaning edition of GF.


Ever since I got this laptop, it's been pestering me about some kind of Windows update, an update I don't want because I'm happy with what I have. Every once in a while, it will remind me about this fuckin' thing, and I'll tell it no, I don't want your fucking update. And it goes away.


Last night, I was just finishing up writing the GF post when I got a notification that regardless of my wishes, Windows was going to do the update. It would, against my will, shut down my computer to make this happen. FUCK. Well, I saw the countdown, and I figured I had enough time.


I finished the post, but I saw I had less than a minute left. No time to publish and promote it. Most updates on this thing don't take very long, so I figured I'd save it, wait fifteen minutes for the update, and then publish and promote.


This update literally took all night. I sat for a while, reading, and when I looked over after a half an hour, I saw 25% had been completed. Fuck. I bagged and boarded my comic book purchases and put them off to the side to be filed later. I wrote some checks for my bills. I essentially did busy work until I saw that a half an hour later, it was at 99%. I waited patiently until it hit 100%, and I prepared to finish off my night.


And then it started a new round of updates. I tried to stick it out. Really, I did. But when it hit 12:30, and it wasn't even past 15%, I couldn't do it anymore. I gave up and went to bed. Except since I can't turn the fucking thing off, I had to cover it with my undershirt so the glow from the screen wouldn't keep me up.


When I got up this morning, I saw that it was still updating. As I got dressed, it hit 100%. And then, it started doing something else. Fuck. I ate breakfast and brushed my teeth and finally--FUCKING FINALLY--I saw my login screen.


I didn't want this update. It was forced on me, and because of it, I was inconvenienced. Granted, it's not the end of the world. It's not like Windows gave me Ebola or anything. But technology is supposed to make things easier for you, right? One would say, perhaps, convenient?


Technology doesn't take no for an answer. It relentlessly pursues, and then it forces itself upon you like some kind of fucking vampire. There is no escape, and there is no mercy. Once you invite it into your house, it will never leave.


Say what you will about ESCAPE FROM LA, but I love the fuck out of that ending. For those who haven't seen it, I won't spoil it even though it's been around for quite some time. Those of you who have seen it will know what I'm talking about.


The update wasn't even all that much. I saw two changes, and one of them was to make sure the Windows store is on my toolbar, because they're eager whores.


Why does technology constantly seek to make cosmetic changes? We're happy with what we have. The cosmetic changes aren't important. Facebook and Twitter do this shit all the time. If there's something that actually improves service? I'm OK with that. Changing things just because they will look different is just bullshit.


We're happy with what we have. Or at least, I am. No need to fuck with something that isn't broken.


I've got to go now. Those goddam kids are on my lawn again . . .