C2E2 2013: MEETING NATALIE DORMER

First of all, a confession:  I just got into GAME OF THRONES.  I know Natalie Dormer was here to promote that show, but I simply haven’t gotten that far in the series to where she has appeared onscreen.  I only just finished the first season.  That said, I’m a huge fan of THE TUDORS, on which she played Anne Boleyn, one of the many unfortunate wives of King Henry VIII.

When I stood in line to meet her, the first thing I noticed was that she is exactly as beautiful in real life as she is on a two-dimensional screen.  Sometimes, when you meet an actress, you notice that she’s only beautiful from one angle (and the director knows exactly how to shoot her), but not Dormer.

The second thing I noticed was how much time she dedicated to all of her fans.  It cost $40 to meet her, and she made sure they got their money’s worth.  No one was rushed away.  She made sure to spend a bit of time with each person, to chat for a while, to just sort of hang out, which was very cool.

When I got up to the table, I made my GAME OF THRONES confession to her, but then we spent about five minutes just hanging out, talking about THE TUDORS.  Since the entire show is written by one guy (Michael Hirst), there is a lot of cohesion to the plot.  We discussed the merits of having a TV show written like that versus a show written by a roomful of writers, and we definitely sided with the Hirst method.  We also talked about how THE TUDORS had the most beautiful ending to a series ever.  She is very proud of her work on that show, and I am very glad that I met her.

DID YOU ALREADY BUY TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE IN A PHYSICAL EDITION? IF SO, YOU MIGHT HAVE A COLLECTORS ITEM . . . .

I was just notified by Kevin Strange, the master and overlord of StrangeHouse Books, that something got fucked up in the printing of my collection of short stories, TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE.  Apparently, the table of contents doesn't match up with where about six stories are actually placed in the book.  It's no big deal, and he fixed the problem, so future purchasers of this august tome will not have this issue.

But if you already bought it, you're going to get the misprinted edition.  My apologies.  The fiction itself has not been impacted, though.  If you look on the bright side, you now have a collectors item.  There are only a handful of these books, and if I go on to become a bestselling writer or a famous serial killer or legendary cocksman or something along those lines, this book will be worth a lot of money.

As always, thanks for reading!

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ STRIP FOR FREE?

Well, not completely for free.  I meant that you won't have to pay me anything.  I do ask for a favor, though.

Allow me to explain.  Since STRIP is an ebook at this time (I hope to someday have a physical edition), it is impossible to get it into the library.  I came up with a plan to create a physical copy of the novel that wasn't actually a book.  My "brilliant" plan was to take the PDF and throw it onto a disc and put it in a DVD case to make it look professional and then try to get libraries to carry it in this form.  The main library I had in mind, the one I used to work for, carried books in mp3 format, so I thought this would be a slam dunk with them.  Plus, you know, I USED TO WORK THERE.  You'd think they would be interested in carrying a novel written by a former employee, even if they did fire me (unjustly, I might add).  The other libraries in the area might have been a problem, since they were more traditional.

Big surprise:  no one was interested.  It was just a format they didn't care for.  (My library stopped carrying mp3 novels a little while ago.)  I'm sure they would have given an actual book more consideration, but they barely gave STRIP any thought.  As a result, I have 5 copies of my book in PDF form on discs, and I'd rather not have them clutter up my place, so here's the deal:

Send me your mailing address (at editor@talesofquestionabletaste.com), and I will send you one of these things, free of charge.  First come, first serve.  The only thing I ask in return is that you 1) review it on Amazon or Goodreads or wherever you like to go, and 2) when you're done with the book, pass it on to someone you think will enjoy it.  I'd be grateful it if you'd ask them to do the same thing I've asked of you.  You don't have to, and I'd never know if you didn't, but I'd appreciate it if you mentioned it.

Also, you'll notice that there is a promotional offer on the disc, stating that if you want to add STRIP to your collection, I will send you a free bonus story if you send me a receipt of your purchase.  That offer is still valid.  Sure, you can probably just copy it from the disc.  It's copy-protected, but I'm sure you could find a way around it.  I'd appreciate it if you didn't, and hey!  Free story!

Also, as a reminder, I have a new book out from StrangeHouse.  Right now it's available on Kindle here, and there will soon be a physical copy.  Thank you!

NOW ANNOUNCING: MY SECOND BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE!

You've heard me bragging about my second book, TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE, for quite a while.  Now you can read it and judge for yourself how awesome it is.  Right now, it's available on Kindle here:  http://www.amazon.com/Tales-of-Questionable-Taste-ebook/dp/B00C6EXF7I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365098940&sr=8-1&keywords=tales+of+questionable+taste  If you want a physical copy of the book, it's at the printer and should be available soon.  Keep watching this space for updates, and be sure to stop by StrangeHouse Books and see their other wares:  http://www.strangehousebooks.com/  Sometime this month, I'm going to be featured on their Author Spotlight, so keep an eye out for that, as well.



And in case you haven't read it yet, my first book is still available from Musa Publishing.  Be sure to check out STRIP here:  http://musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=488  It's available for Kindle, Nook, and iPad, as well as in PDF form.  Thank you!

IT CAN FINALLY BE REVEALED: THE COVER OF MY SECOND BOOK!

See?  I told you it was going to be awesome.  In fact, take my name off the cover, and I'll bet many of you would be able to say, "Yep, that's a book by John Bruni, all right."  It'll be out pretty soon, probably next month.  I can say with every confidence that I believe this book will blow your balls off.  Special thanks to Jesse Wheeler, who created this amazing cover, and to Don Noble and Kevin Strange for taking a chance on me.  And in case you're wondering about the giant guy fucking the sun, it's from a story within this collection called "Monster Cock."  I think you'll all get a kick out of that one.

A CALMER, SUBDUED NICK CAVE: A review of PUSH THE SKY AWAY by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

This is probably one of the most beautifully put together albums ever released. Instead of a jewel case, it’s a hardcover book with a pocket on the inside of both front and back covers. The album rests in the front pocket, and a bonus DVD can be found in the back pocket. In between are pages of photos and edited song lyrics. The words are typed, but many are crossed out and corrected by hand. Some lines and stanzas are blocked out entirely.



Not to mention the image on the cover. One could spend hours just talking about that picture alone. Two people in such an intimate moment, the casting out of a lover, surrounded by so much empty space. The fact that the woman, naked, feels the need only to cover her face as she walks on tiptoes. It’s just amazing.


It’s too bad the music itself doesn’t live up to such beauty. That’s to say nothing about the quality of the words. Nick Cave, who is also an author, is masterful with the usage of words and continues to be so. However, the music itself is just so calm and subdued that it almost seems lazy. There’s not a lot of power here. It’s as if they’ve all decided to hang out at home and just toss together an album, sitting back in their comfy chairs, yawning between verses.


It also doesn’t help that there are two really stupid names for songs: “We No Who U R” and “We Real Cool.” For someone who plays words like he was gently fingering a pussy, Cave has really made a strange choice with those titles. In the case of the former, it doesn’t even figure into the song, aside from the line “We know who you are,” which is spelled out in the lyrics the way it’s supposed to look.


The absolute best song on the album is “Water’s Edge.” It stands out as the only great piece here. There are some good songs—“Higgs Boson Blues” and “Push the Sky Away”—as well as a few that are serviceable—“Jubilee Street” and “Finishing Jubilee Street”—but for the most part, three good songs out of nine?


The bonus DVD is where the real magic happens. It contains two videos of new songs that are not on the album: “Needle Boy” and “Lightning Bolts.” The images aren’t anything special: just Cave and his band (mostly violinist Warren Ellis) hanging out in the studio, making music, while the lyrics to the songs show up on the left side of the screen. But those songs aren’t sit-back-and-relax songs; no, they’re get-up-and-move songs, songs to get the circulation going.


All in all, the good stuff makes up for the all-right stuff, so PUSH THE SKY AWAY is definitely worth purchasing, even if you’re not a big Nick Cave fan. Even the bad songs have good lines, like this, from the worst song on the album, “Mermaids”:


“She was a catch
And we were a match
I was the match
That would fire up her snatch.”


PUSH THE SKY AWAY
Written and performed by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Produced by Kobalt

NOW ANNOUNCING . . . MY SECOND BOOK!

That's right, the contract has been signed, so I can finally talk about it.  StrangeHouse Books, who put out ZOMBIE!  ZOMBIE!  BRAIN BANG!, containing my story, "Pack Rat," will be publishing a collection of short stories by me entitled TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE.  There is no release date, and details are still being worked on, but these guys work fast, so I'm sure it'll be out soon.

If you're not familiar with them, check out their site here:  http://www.strangehousebooks.com/

After looking around there, I'm sure you'll see why I'm so eager to work with them.  We share a lot of the same sensibilities, and we're both transgressive as all fuck.  It's like we were meant to work together.  Check out some of the books they've published in the past!  And look at those covers!  I've been told what they want for my own cover, and I believe it's going to be one of the most impressive book covers you'll ever see!

If you still haven't gotten a copy of ZOMBIE!  ZOMBIE!  BRAIN BANG!, you should do so here:  http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Brain-Bang-Strange-Anthology/dp/1480214841/ref=tmm_pap_title_0  It's one of the best horror anthologies I've ever been a part of, and it will prepare you for the sheer lunacy that will be TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE, a StrangeHouse book.  Here's the list of stories that will be included:

--"Amber" (first appeared in THE MONSTERS NEXT DOOR)
--"Riding the Midnight Gloom" (first appeared in LIQUID IMAGINATION)
--"Virtuoso" (first appeared in AOIFE'S KISS)
--"Suicidal Tendencies" with Nicole Evans (first appeared in THE MONSTERS NEXT DOOR)
--"Family Man" (first appeared in A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE)
--"Pimp of the Living Dead" (first appeared in TABARD INN)
--"Corpusplasty" (first appeared in TALES OF UNSPEAKABLE TASTE)
--"The Space in the Bottom of Martin Oglesby's Desk Drawer" (first appeared in TALES OF THE TALISMAN)
--"Shrink" (first appeared in FROM THE ASYLUM)
--"Timely" (first appeared in HOUSE OF BIZARRO)
--"Baseball Players are a Superstitious Lot" (first appeared in COLLEGE NEWS)
--"Slummin' It" (first appeared in TABARD INN)
--"A Night in the Unlife" (first appeared in NIGHT TO DAWN)
--"Yum" (first appeared in THE NOCTURNAL LYRIC)
--"Outside Her Window, It Waits" (first appeared in LOST INNOCENCE)

In addition to that, there are three stories that will be published here for the first time:  "A Place to Be," "Monster Cock," and "The Skyscraper of Forbidden Delight."

I'll tell you more when I know more, and as soon as I have the cover, you'll be among the first to see it.  Stay tuned . . . .