Tuesday, June 29, 2021

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #379: CHOOSE YOUR OWN DEATH


 


I loved Choose Your Own Adventure books when I was a kid. Not gonna lie, I sometimes crack one open and give it a go. But most of my peers back then really wanted the happy endings. Not me. When I opened one of these books, I wanted to see just how fucked up my death was going to be.


I can't be the only one who did this, right? Or maybe I am. I don't know. I was a weird fuckin' kid.


The Deadly Shadow, as seen above, was my favorite because if memory serves, there were only two happy endings. All the others were doom and gloom. There's even a scene where you get water tortured. My favorite of the deaths was being eaten by army ants. That was the goriest best! There was also a whirlpool of death and unless my brain has become addled, I recall there being a nuclear death ending. How awesome is that?!


There were also the Time Machine books, but those didn't fascinate me because there was only ever one ending each, and it was a good one. It got frustrating because you'd sometimes get stuck in a loop you just can't get out of. These books could literally last forever.


There was another that was kinda cool. I wish I could remember the name of the series. It was kind of like a roleplaying game you could play with yourself. You could get into fights with bad guys that you could determine with dice rolls. There was one about a Samurai that I really loved. Maybe it's in my basement somewhere. There was another one that I think might have been called An Appointment with D.E.A.T.H., but I'm not too certain. I tried to Google these two, but I didn't get anywhere. Anyone remember these? A little help here?

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