Monday, August 11, 2014


The other day, I'd gone out for a night walk, and as I passed up my elementary school, I was struck by a sudden memory. I have no idea where it came from, but I felt like I was back in the 'Eighties, when I was a student at said elementary school. I remembered a field trip helmed by the guidance counselor. After the educational portion of our outing, he brought us all to McDonald's, at which point he had a difficult time getting me out of the Big Mac prison-thing in the playground when it was time to leave.

But the thing I remembered most starkly was his glorious mustache. Now that I think back on it, every adult male in that McDonald's had a great mustache. So many of the American penis-bearing population back then had beautiful, masculine mustaches.

What changed? How did fashion in America do such a 180-degree shift that mustaches became contemptible? It was such a change that even now, more than twenty years later, mustaches still have not come back into fashion. Okay, they've made kind of a comeback, but not in a good way. The mustache today is a joke, a symbol of goofy masculinity. You can't have a mustache in today's society without being the butt of a joke.

I will never understand the shifts and changes in fashion. I guess that's why my own never changes. The only difference for me is that most of the time, I don't have a beard, and I keep my hair relatively short. During the winter, I grow a beard, and I let my hair go wild. Aside from that, my fashion never changes. I dress just like I did when I was a kid: t-shirt and jeans.

That's probably for the best. Why fuck with something I don't understand. It's a bit disappointing for me that I can't grow a decent mustache, though. I look like a pedophile when I grow one. This is slightly funny, considering that my dad had one of those wonderful 'Eighties mustaches back in the day. He looked kind of like Thomas Magnum back then. You'd think I would have inherited a glorious mustache, but . . . *sigh*

At least my beard looks cool. I guess.

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