Tuesday, August 12, 2014


I hate doing my taxes. Hell, everyone does, even if it turns out that you're going to actually get money back from this tightfisted, backwards government. But there is something significantly worse than this, and I have suffered through it tonight.

What could possibly be worse than filling out tax forms? Easy: filling out job applications. I completely understand the high unemployment rate in this country. No one wants to fill these fucking things out. It's the worst. You want to strangle yourself by the time you get halfway through. The world has made this process unnecessarily complicated.

Remember the old days when a company posted a help wanted sign, and if you were interested, you went in, stated your interest (with maybe a resume to spice things up), and if you made a good impression, you were hired on the spot? (Hm. Maybe I'm dating myself with that one.)

Fine. That's no way to run a corporation. I get that. I'm even OK with filling out an application. But the way things are done today is so completely, mindnumbingly dumb as fuck. The preferred way to get a job these days is the dreaded online application.

During this process, you are expected to fill out a form AND attach your resume before submitting it . . . but that's only after you register at EACH AND EVERY JOB POSTING so you can earn the right to even fill out the form. What does the form ask you for? THE VERY SAME INFORMATION THAT SHOULD BE ON ANY SENTIENT BEING'S RESUME IN THE FIRST PLACE. Why the fuck do we still do resumes if we're just going to fill out the same stupid forms with the same stupid information?

I get that some people don't have resumes. We don't have to ruin the entire system for these people, though. Here's a simple fix: offer applicants a choice between either filling out the form or sending in the resume. This, by the way, is also a great way to weed out dummies. If you get the resume, and it has all the information on it that you would have asked for on the form, then you have your winner. This individual is someone who has his or her head on straight and can think their way out of a wet paper bag. (I would, of course, make special exemptions for young people who are perhaps applying for their first job. However, adults who have been around the block several times should already know this. To quote an infamous gentleman, "No mercy.")

Oddly enough, I have never gotten hired from an online application. I don't think anyone reads the fucking things, anyway. I got my current job from calling them up and leaving a message for their HR guy. I got Sears from filling out an in-store application and then actually showing up for the group job interview. Both of my Elmhurst jobs (and the one in Oakbrook Terrace, come to think of it) came from in-person, on the spot interviews.

Has anyone ever been hired because of the backwards, bullshit way the internet does things?

No comments:

Post a Comment