So yesterday I shared a pictures of my mom and dad, and it reminded me of something that happened a while back, back when I'd just gotten out of the hospital for my second toe amputation. If you saw those pictures, you know that I look more like my mom. A lot more. The last time I saw my dad, I'd been with him in Vegas. His neighbor was also there, and he'd asked my dad, pointing at me, "Does he look more like you or his mom?"
"Oh, he definitely looks like his mom," Dad said. And it's true. Very true.
So imagine my surprise when I was shaving for the first time out of the hospital, and I saw my dad's face in my reflection. It's very odd (although it could have been the oxy I was on at the time). I'm big like Dad was (although I beat him on height). I'm hairy like Dad was (although my back hair never got to the bigfoot-like thickness of his). And I have a giant head, just like Dad's was. It's one of the reasons I don't wear hats. None of them look good on me, and they always look tiny. If I was a dickhead, I'd get one of those giant Stetsons Texans favor. I'm sure that would fit me, but I'd look like a prick. Well, more than I already do.
But seeing Dad look back at me from the mirror was very weird. It threw me off that day, and I couldn't shake the sensation. This has also been on my mind a lot lately because Dad died of not just one heart attack but several all at once. If memory serves, his dad died of the same thing. On Saturday I saw Clerks 3, which has a heart attack at the, uh, heart of the story. And I've always suspected I would die of a heart attack, too.
I guess you have to die of something, and if I've got to go, I'd rather it be something quick like that. As opposed to, say, cancer. A long drawn out illness where your life gets worse and worse and worse until you don't have it anymore at all does not suit me, thank you.
Either that, or maybe I won't die. Maybe I'll be the first person in history to not die. That would be kind of nice, at least until the earth dies in the expansion of the sun. But maybe by then I'll be out in the galaxy. I've always wanted to go to space, but I'm a tall guy. Space is for short people. But maybe by then they will have figured out how space can be for tall people, too. I guess I'll have to get in shape for that.
I have a fantasy, but I won't mention it here. Back when I thought the rest of my life could be measured in months instead of years, I wrote a final Goodnight, Fuckers. One day someone will post that here, and you'll know about my fantasy. And when that day comes, I hope I'm right. I have my doubts, but who knows? The universe is a weird place.
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