Wednesday, January 18, 2023

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #598: CHOCOLATE

 A lot of you know I'm diabetic. I came to it a little differently than most, though. I don't eat sweets. I don't eat cake or pie. No chocolate. No candy. Nothing. I got to this place because of the sheer massive amount of Coke I drank for most of my life. However much Coke you think that is? You're not even close to half of what I drank in those days.


People always look at me weird when I say I don't like chocolate. It's just not my thing. I'll have it every once in a while, but for the most part I don't care for it.


A while back, while I was still in IOP, one of my fellow addicts said that since he quit drinking he also can't stand chocolate. He asked us if we'd ever heard of something like that. I had heard the opposite, actually. I was warned a couple of times that if I ever quit drinking, I would suddenly become a chocoholic.


Here I am on my 187th day from my last drink, and holy shit. I love chocolate. I have no idea how this happened, but I find myself buying Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (the Big Cups, no less) all the time. I stopped and got a couple of packages on the way home from work today. I also get Snickers with almonds. Also, I get Hershey's with almonds. And every once in a while I'll get a Mr. Goodbar.


Holy shit, this is horrible news for a diabetic like me. I've gone through a lot of my life not eating chocolate. And not even caring for it! I force myself to not indulge myself on most days, but when I have the following day off from work? I can't help myself. On those days that I don't get anything, I miss it. For the love of fuck, it actually bums me out.


I gotta do something about this. At least when I was drinking my blood sugars were low. I didn't really eat much of anything back then, and the booze didn't have sugar in it. Is it possible that quitting drinking made me less healthy?!

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