A couple of years ago I declared bankruptcy. I think I've gone over the reasons before, so I won't delve too deeply, but here's what my life looked like at the time. I'd been out of a job for more than a year. I'd been on the psych ward. I was drinking more than I ever had in my entire life up to that point (I started drinking even more a year later when Grandma died and I lost another toe). I owed thousands and thousands of dollars that I would never be able to pay back. I'd cashed in my 401K and was down to my last few dollars. So yeah, it had to happen.
My credit took quite a hit and is still recovering, but I remember thinking at the time that it was worth it to not have enormous debt hanging over my head. Over those two years I worked at rebuilding my credit to the point where I now have three credit cards again. I don't use them, but they're nice to have. Just in case. It was also good that I could start saving money for the first time in, what, fifteen years? I've been broke for a long time, and I knew, even then when my grandmother was still alive, that I would eventually have to leave this place. So I started saving for that and for something else.
Because around that time I got in a horrible car wreck that totaled my beloved 2012 Honda Civic. I was over a barrel because no one would help me finance getting a new car, and GEICO only paid me $8K for a car that was probably worth at least ten. I still have my suspicions that they rebuilt my car and sold it for $15K to some poor bastard.
So I had to pay for my 2010 Honda Civic Hybrid all at once. On the plus side it was nice to outright own a car and not worry about payments. On the negative side the previous owner had driven it pretty much into the ground. Both bumpers fell off this thing. The rear one came off the moment I switched my insurance over to this car, so GEICO really didn't want to pay for it. Thankfully I had a police officer as a witness, and that is probably the one and only time you'll hear me mutter that sentence. Months later the front one fell off. That one fell off twice, actually, and it was halfway off recently due to an incident in which I may have been drunk behind the wheel. I went up on a curb, and it destroyed the tire and blew out that side of the bumper.
And then there was the bad news I got the first time I brought it in for an oil change. The mechanic told me that there was significant rust on one of the axles which would cost a couple thousand to fix, and that GEICO was not very likely to pay for any of it. He said I probably had two years before it became a problem.
Then came that incident with the flood we got on the second day of Printers Row, and I think that sped up the process because I only got one more year out of it before it started making all sorts of horrible sounds.
I knew that the Civic Hybrid's days were numbered. I hoped beyond hope that I could get as much as possible for a trade in, but the longer I waited, the more of a problem that axle would become, and that would drive down the price to the point where they might just not give me anything. When I traded my Focus in years ago, that was their story, but Gramps was with me and helped me talk them up to $200. A pittance, sure, but it was something. I didn't want that to happen again.
The good news is that I built my credit back up enough that I could buy a new car. The bad news is that I am now under the weight of a crippling debt and will be so for the next five years. And this is not the best time for me to be doing that, especially with the prices of rent in this area.
But it had to be done.
That's the only thing I can tell myself that will take the noose of anxiety from around my neck. Holy shit, how the fuck am I going to pay almost $600 a month for this thing?
I wanted a thousand for the Hybrid, but I asked for two. The guy talked me down to one, so at least that went well. I am now the owner of a 2020 Honda Accord Sport. Only one previous owner, and it had been a leased vehicle, so everything is still tip-top. But holy fuck, this is going to be a nightmare.
I take solace in one thing: unless I'm in a car accident, I'm probably not going to have any problems with this car anytime soon.
Fuck. It was great to be free from debt while it lasted.
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