Five years ago tonight I still had all ten toes. I was in the hospital because one of my toes, the piggy who went to the market had just been examined by my podiatrist, and he said to me, "I want to cut the tip of your toe off." This was because I'd stubbed it, and even though I'd taken good care of it, the infection got into the bone. It had gotten worse over a week, so I went to the ER, and they said they had to hold onto me because it looked horrible.
The thought of losing that big a piece of me was pretty horrifying even though about seven years and a week before that time, I had had my gall bladder removed. But I'd never seen my gall bladder before. I saw my big toe every day, and that made a difference. Still, he said he only wanted to take the tip, not the whole thing.
I called one of the smartest people I know, and he said to let them take it, so I did. Imagine my surprise when I saw that he hadn't just taken the tip. He'd taken everything except for a little stub.
Fast forward to last year, and the podiatrist wanted to cut the tip off another of my toes. The piggy who stayed home. Yeah, it fucked with me, but unlike that first time I wanted to get it over with. I'd gone through it before, and I knew what the healing process was, so I just wanted to fast track it and put it behind me. Except he actually did take just the tip of that one, and I got to attend my grandmother's funeral with the special Frankenstein shoe. What fun.
It would be nice if, when they put me in the ground, I still had eight toes. The likelihood isn't good. Those missing toes are on my good foot, for fuck's sake. My bad foot, should what remains of the arch collapse entirely, is going to have to go, and I'll be down to three toes in one fell swoop. That would suck.
I used to go for long walks nearly every night. I miss that. It's a shame I'll never be able to do that again. Simply going around the block would put my bad foot at risk. Getting old is supposed to take stuff from you, I know, but it's also supposed to give stuff to you to make up for it. So far it's given me gray hair in my beard and a colonoscopy, so it's not looking good.
At least I got to eat solid food tonight. I made a pizza for myself, and it was fucking glorious. Goodnight, fuckers.
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